Why not make someones day by telling a few funny jokes i mean am sick minded so dont take any offences to the jokes that are posted in this Thread i will start us off with a not so bad one please post your own jokes and try to keep it going have fun!
A man walks into the bar and sees a sign:
Handjob: $5
Cheese sandwich: $2
He walks over to the bartender, a big boobied blonde, and asks,
Are you the one giving out handjobs?
Why yes I am!, she replied, smiling and sticking out her chest.
Okay, he said.
Now wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich!
What did letter O said to Q?
Oh god, put that thing back into your pants!
just ran a bridge, i knew it was going to be up and down from the start
So a man (A rather seedy man mind you) was driving down a highway in some part of the world, as he drove he say a billboard.
"Nunnery and Brothel, 5 km." (Because SI units are important!)
So of course this man wonders what the hell it is, but as most people do, he presumed it was just a hoax, so he kept driving. Until another billboard came near.
"Nunnery and Brothel, 2 km"
So now he's really wondering about it, wouldn't it defy their morals? He is also curious as to what the hell they are doing.
"Nunnery and Brothel, Next Left."
So he decides, f**k it and takes the next left, driving up to a large grey building speckled with windows. A sign points at a door saying "Brothel this way". So he follows the sign, walking into a long corridor.
At the end of it, he say a box with a sign pointing towards it.
"Insert 100 monies" (f**k currency) "and take the door to the left.
So he puts the monies into the box, and walks out the left door to find himself at the back of the nunnery, a sign before him read:
"Go now, and be royally screwed!"