Break-a-Wish

This is a fairly simple game I recall playing in an IRC an eternity (probably six months) ago. 

The rules are fairly simple. Someone makes a wish, and then the player after them breaks it and makes a new wish. It looks something like this:

"I wish that my grandma would stop attacking me with her pet snails"

"Granted, but her snail farm has moved under your bed, so they now live in your bed sheets. I wish for a life-sized cutout of America's 39th president, Jimmy Carter."

"Granted, but he reeks of the impending apocalypse caused by your wish. I wish..."

So on and so forth. Feel free to have some fun with it, but try to respect other players in the game. Try to keep your wishes jovial, as serious wishes can sometimes ruin the fun atmosphere.

Let's start the game off with a simple wish.
"I wish for world peace."

Granted but there was a translation error and the aliens interpreted "peace" as "piece" and you recieve a rock.

I wish for a single donator pack which lasts for 1 year and cost me nothing.

Granted, but it's use coincides with a meteor strike on your character, hospitalizing you for 11 months.

I wish that leveling was faster.

Granted. But Stat gains become significantly harder.

I wish for more gym gains...

Granted, but every time you train more than 10e you are jailed for excess energy consumption.

I wish booster cooldowns were 72 hours naturally instead of 24/25

Granted, but all Sweet shops are run out of business by the riots caused by lack of product, as it was all bought by people on happy jumps. (Man, these Torn City residents are violent people, aren't they?) The supply is cut off, and boosters are now much more limited.

I wish for a box of cookies.

those cookies were poisoned by you grandmas pet snails.

I wish for energy refills to be less points

 

Granted, but you can only purchase one energy refill a day.

I wish that Netflix would have every TV show on it.

Granted,but you are unable to watch Netflix due to a small bomb inplanted in one of your testicles

 

I wish that travelling was instant and free

 

Granted. Every time you fly, your body is instantly accelerated to mach 3 and you are slammed into the ground at your destination almost instantly, Loony Toons style, all at no cost to you. 

 

I wish I had a 1992 mint-condition American penny. 

Granted, But Not Granted

I WISH FOR RAP HITLER TO ARISE 

Granted, but this wish genie is lazier than yours, so you just straight up die before getting to enjoy “Rap Hitler” I guess. 

I wish I had the power of the ban hammer. 

Granted, but you can only ban yourself.

I wish my car wasn't falling apart.

Granted, but you can never repair it again making you in live in fear it'll at some point break apart.

I wish this thread wasn't a copy of Corrupt-a-Wish :)

Granted, but it still is. 

I wish I had more karma.