Will be posting a new joke every few days. Short jokes, long jokes, dry jokes, dad jokes. All are welcome except racist hate jokes. (Can include race without being racist, first joke will be example)
Turner Brown: A short Irish guy walks into an elevator where he is greeted by a massive black guy. The black guy notices the little Irish man keeps looking up at him so, without any hesitation, says; "350 pounds, 7feet tall,my balls weigh 4.5 pounds, dicks 12 inches, Turner Brown." With that the little Irish man let out a whimper and feinted there on the spot. Upon waking up the Irish man looks up at the black guy and says, "what did you say to me?" Black man replies," I just answered all the normal questions one asks me. I'm 350 pounds. 7 feet tall, both testicles weigh 4.5 pounds, I got a 12 inch dick and my name's Turner Brown. Irish let's a sigh of relief and says, "thank Jesus, I thought you said turn around!"
a Texan rancher went to Mexico an seen a fella admiring his ranch. The Texan asked the Mexican how big his ranch was, an the Mexican said it was about 10 acres. The Texan laughed while bragging about how it takes him 2 days to get from one side to the other of his ranch. The Mexican starts laughing as well, an says I used to have a truck like that too.
Two peanuts are walking down an alley. One is assaulted... peanut.
The "Turner Brown" joke had me thinking of another favorite of mine. There is a YouTube video of this one, I'll post link below.
Turn It Around: A guy walks up to the bar and asks the bartender for a rum and coke. Bartender puts an apple down in front of him and the guy goes to correct the bartender, 'sir I asked for a rum and coke'. Bartender responds back, ' just try it'. So he takes a bite,' woah this tastes like rum!'. 'Yeah now turn it around.' says the bartender. 'Holy crap it tastes just like coke!". Bartender laughs,'your welcome.' At this point a second feller walks up to the bar and asks for,' a gin and tonic, please.' Bartender again puts an apple down and goes,'try this'. First guy still eating his apple says,' yeah man you have to try it!' So he takes a bite,' ahh it just tastes like gin.' 'Turn it around.' says the bartender. 'Oh yeah there's the tonic!'. So now a third guy comes up to the bar and the second guy goes' this guy has an apple for any flavor you gotta try one!' Third guy goes,' any flavor? You got an apple that's pussy flavored?'. Bartender chuckles and puts an apple down in front of him, third guy takes a bite and immediately spits it out' dude wtf, it tastes like shit!' Bartender responds 'turn it around'.
https://youtu.be/AabCGcnQ-Ac
![[image: images.gawker.com]](https://images.gawker.com/clhczs9qldvv1uvhn7xb/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636.jpg){kind=link}