Depression - Torn - Support Network

It is true... You can think you know someone and youd be right. But that doesnt mean you know how they're feeling... How something effects them...

Today was a bad day. I myself suffer with depression. Some days worse than others as all sufferers have.

Today I left home... in my car... with every intention of taking my own life. My wife bless her logged onto her old discord (use to play torn) and contacted Msyteria who is like family to me. I met her on torn. Have only ever known her from torn.... She I can only assume must of spoken to my spouse MJH and I am not lying when I tell you that these two are the reason I am typing this post.

I was adamant my life was ending today. The right words from these two people who care about me considering we are only friends because of torn was what stopped me going ahead with it.

I am not here to get sympathy from you all at all. I am here for 2 reasons.

1) I owe alot to the 2 people mentioned and they deserve to be acknowledged for being there for someone they have never met and shows just how much an online friendship can matter.

2) I want you all to know... Torn is not just a game. It is a social support network in a sense. We all meet great people and we all make some great friends. Until I went through this I never thought about it. But real life friends or online friends... friends are friends. And they will have your back. Don't be afraid to seek help from someone just because they're not real life friends.

Torn is much more than a game. Torn is a part of life. And it's up to you what part in your life it plays.

Anyone who is suffering with depression. Don't be afraid to talk to some close torn friends. Youd be surprised how much it can help and actually. Can tell you a great deal about them people as a friend.

I would also like to point out I've had some supportive messages from other members of my torn family. I'm sorry I cant name everyone. I am very tired. You know who you are and I love you guys!!!

Chenzo

Edit: I want to thank everyone for the kind messages and posts here. My hope is that people will take note of this and see that the torn community does care. I have had people who mutually we consider ourselves enemies on torn chat me with well wishes and it goes to show... torn is torn. Between everyone's torn personality is a real person and despite whether you are friendly on torn EVERYBODY will always wish you well when it comes to your wellbeing in real life.

<3

Keep your head up bud! I dealt with some PI's with you in the past and appreciated what you did for me on those :P

We're all here to play a game and have fun, it's an escape for most of us. You ever need some laughs or just need to vent feel free to hit me up!

Stay strong buddy :) There is light at the end of the tunnel. I'll PM you Load image: smiley

Stay strong man its a dark place to be but as corn said there is light at the end of the tunnel

I'm glad they reached out to you in time.

We all have our low moments. Its hard to get out of that hole.

Seek some help and stay strong.

Wishing you all the best and that things turn around.

You may hate me for saying this but I gotta: please seek professional help too.
GL

You’re my mate and I’ll always be there to support you!


Personally, like many I’m sure, I don’t have lots of friends in real life. I have BPD and spend all my free time with my Mrs and kids, I had completely written off having friends as something I didn’t want, need or have time for.


I’ve spoken to you guys literally everyday for the last 6 months, we talk about everything from this game to our kids and our lives and I absolutely love it. I genuinely consider you a really important friend to me, so without any doubt in my mind I’ll stand by you and be there whenever you need me.


It’s more than a game when you meet people like this. It is a support network, a social network, a game and a community all rolled into one. It’s mad, but this place wouldn’t be the same even without the idiots we all love to hate. So much negativity and augments and backstabbing go on here, it’s like we forget that the thing that unites us is that we are all here. With the same taste in games, and the same group of friends we speak to day in and day out.



Chenzo, you’re a legend buddy. You’re shit at COD (lol) but there’s no one I’d sooner have as my doting wife in Torn :P

It's amazing that you can have family that you've never met in person. I'm glad you're still here this afternoon and never be afraid to reach out for help. At the end of the day we're all here for each other.

That made me sad and happy at the same time, stay strong!

It saddens me to read stuff like this, but I am of course very happy that you didn't do anything stupid and permanent. Indeed you can never know how someone else is feeling.. Sorry I haven't asked you lately how you are doing. I think we last spoke in July or August? You can reach out to me any time and I will talk with you. Or just listen. And believe me when I say that I have seen some shit and gone through all kinds of stuff of my own. Nothing is too dark or taboo subject for me.

Stay strong buddy, and hit me up latest when you want to loan those sweet Dual Axes and finish your 100% ;)

Your a great friend chenzo and loved by a lot of people don't ever forget that :) luv ya buddy , rest and take some time out for you xx

I consider you and some others great friends haven't met you or others IRL but love you guys all the same :) always here if you wanna talk x

Stay strong brother. Sometimes it is easier to talk to people that are not actually in your real life!

I am still owed cash from _Gabriel_ ,a dude who probably never scammed anyone and stopped playing out the blue. f**k the money. he might be death. Nayee was my torn friend. He is MIA too last i checked. Rip everyone from torn that is no longer above ground.

Chenzo, my mate...

Reach out to me anytime you need, we may have only spoken a few times, however, I got your 6 brother!

I have had my bouts...depression, anxiety, PTSD...I medicated with drugs, the bottle, sex, and deflection...I thank the gods that I found my current wife and several great IG friends that I can talk to about anything.

I am here, I will listen, I will let you vent, I will be present...having an outlet is important and I offer to let me be your sounding board.

Open to anyone that might need it, my door is open, the coffee is on, I am here if you need me.

Much love brother!

Glad to hear you made the right decision. I'd say it's time to seek professional help if you're not already. (I don't know where you live, but I bet there are hotlines setup to help)

We're all living through a rather odd constantly-changing time... and there's a LOT of uncertainty and anxiety going around because of it. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing you are not alone!

Take care of yourself OP - I’m glad today didn’t end as you had planned.

Depression is real. All too often feelings are repressed and it can feel shameful to speak about it openly. I know what that is like. Your courageous post today will help many people, including myself, who are searching for some light.

Thank you.

Congrats on being able to speak about your pain!You deserve support

When I'd been playing for maybe 2 years or so I was low and it was people on IRC that helped me keep going. They know who they are, even if most of them have stopped playing since.

Now I've never been happier, most days.

It's always darkest before the dawn so keep your head up.