You are a tree
This is a great thread for the most active section on the forums
I'm a maple tree cuz I'm Canadian TEE HEE
This is a great thread for the most active section on the forums
I'm a maple tree cuz I'm Canadian TEE HEE
About this thread
Posts archived: 9 / 9 posts (100%) · the total is Torn's reply count + the opening post at the last fetch
Counted by TornLife from the archived posts.
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- 9
- Likes on archived posts
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- Story score
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Most-liked replies
- strange2 [68827]
· 5 likes ·
Another marlborough smouldered in the ashtray as Ol' Paul Strange refreshed his email. He'd been sitting in this damn trailer for the better part of two days now with nothing to do but smoke too much and wait. The Forest … - AkiraDawn [2141091]
· 4 likes ·
My long strands of hair-like branches cascade all around me like a veil, sweeping the ground with the barest breeze and creating a safe haven for animals and humans alike. I am a willow tree - I bend, I do … - Daisy3 [730750]
· 4 likes ·
I am a balsam fir sitting in a grove with my friends. We are waiting to make some children happy this year when we are harvested for Christmas.
oh my god.. i got roots
I'm a real birch. Welcome to the forest of fantasy, fellas!
Well, that's easy enough. I'm an oak. Sturdy and old.
My long strands of hair-like branches cascade all around me like a veil, sweeping the ground with the barest breeze and creating a safe haven for animals and humans alike. I am a willow tree - I bend, I do not break.
As I'm a big man who just sits and watches others, I am most certainly a Redwood.
Another marlborough smouldered in the ashtray as Ol' Paul Strange refreshed his email. He'd been sitting in this damn trailer for the better part of two days now with nothing to do but smoke too much and wait.
The Forest Service was slow on the best days, but it'd seemed to him like they'd been slower than ever recently. They'd given him all kinds of guff and bologna about being understaffed, about getting a lot of permit requests in, about it being a holiday. Like he wasn't working on a holiday, like his crew wasn't half manned, like his clients were screaming for material. Hell, he'd be a lot less than half staffed if he didn't get this permit through soon!
He picked up the butt and took a ragged drag. He again refreshed, and there was the PLINK of a new mail. His breath caught in his throat, and he tried to click it open too fast. He opened the spam beneath, and cursed under his breath as he backed out and opened the correct mail.
The mail itself was fluff, it was the PDF attached to it that he needed. This was near on fifty pages of legal nonsense and bureaucratic cover-your-ass doublespeak. He'd dealt with that more times than he had fingers, and he was only missing one finger. Pretty good for this vicinity.
The very last page was all that mattered. There was a large box in the corner that would tell him all he needed to know. Before the box lay the text PERMISSION TO CLEAR CUT and beside it was the seal of the Forest Service. He felt a shiver of relief go through his body. He pulled out his phone, and hit redial.
"Yeah, Jerry. It's Paul. Get the boys out to that new grove. Yeah, we got the permit. Get the trucks out there, and the crane too. Yeah, we're starting right now, I'm about to hope in Babe. Sounds good, I'll see you there."
He slid the phone back into the pocket of his doublefront jeans, mushed out the smoking butt, and stood up. He gave a luxuriant stretch. This completed, he stuffed a pair of impact gloves into his back pocket, and stomped through the screen door. Before him lay a bright blue F550, and he hopped up into the cab. With the twist of a worn key, the heavy diesel in Babe the Big Blue Truck coughed to life.
Yes, it was a good day to be a lumberman. A day to make money, and get out in the woods. Maybe a pint or four after work. A good day.
The Forest Service was slow on the best days, but it'd seemed to him like they'd been slower than ever recently. They'd given him all kinds of guff and bologna about being understaffed, about getting a lot of permit requests in, about it being a holiday. Like he wasn't working on a holiday, like his crew wasn't half manned, like his clients were screaming for material. Hell, he'd be a lot less than half staffed if he didn't get this permit through soon!
He picked up the butt and took a ragged drag. He again refreshed, and there was the PLINK of a new mail. His breath caught in his throat, and he tried to click it open too fast. He opened the spam beneath, and cursed under his breath as he backed out and opened the correct mail.
The mail itself was fluff, it was the PDF attached to it that he needed. This was near on fifty pages of legal nonsense and bureaucratic cover-your-ass doublespeak. He'd dealt with that more times than he had fingers, and he was only missing one finger. Pretty good for this vicinity.
The very last page was all that mattered. There was a large box in the corner that would tell him all he needed to know. Before the box lay the text PERMISSION TO CLEAR CUT and beside it was the seal of the Forest Service. He felt a shiver of relief go through his body. He pulled out his phone, and hit redial.
"Yeah, Jerry. It's Paul. Get the boys out to that new grove. Yeah, we got the permit. Get the trucks out there, and the crane too. Yeah, we're starting right now, I'm about to hope in Babe. Sounds good, I'll see you there."
He slid the phone back into the pocket of his doublefront jeans, mushed out the smoking butt, and stood up. He gave a luxuriant stretch. This completed, he stuffed a pair of impact gloves into his back pocket, and stomped through the screen door. Before him lay a bright blue F550, and he hopped up into the cab. With the twist of a worn key, the heavy diesel in Babe the Big Blue Truck coughed to life.
Yes, it was a good day to be a lumberman. A day to make money, and get out in the woods. Maybe a pint or four after work. A good day.
I am a balsam fir sitting in a grove with my friends. We are waiting to make some children happy this year when we are harvested for Christmas.
The forest council was abuzz. I, a humble pine sapling, looked up at the unrest around me.
The maples murmured angrily amongst themselves, as one of them proclaimed to the rest of the forest...
"The point remains uncontested... the oaks are much too greedy! They are grabbing up all the light!"
The other maples punctuated the speakers words with a chorus of harumphs and angry agreements.
"We can not help how high we grow," came the lofty reply of the targets of the maples' ire. "Moreover, even if we could help it, this seems more of a you problem than an us problem. We quite like the way we're made. Have you tried growing taller?" The oaks all hear-heared their support of this reasonable notion.
The oaks' response did nothing to settle the maples' anger, and cries of protest. "TRIED... GROWING... Are you even listening to the words you are saying? If we were even capable of just growing taller, we would need more sunlight to gather the necessary energy to do so, which you clearly are unwilling to do!"
Another oak cast down a disdainful reply. "Well I for one do not believe you are showing much appreciation for just how hot it gets up here under the sun... I think you ought to be more grateful and happy for the shade we are offering you maples."
One maple, clearly enraged, made as if to charge the oak that had given this tone deaf response, but stayed in place and instead screamed out.... "Oppression!" The other maples took up the word and made it chant... "OPPRESSION! OPPRESSION! OPPRESSION! OPPRESSION!"
The forest creatures began to leave the area... the squirrels, and birds, and rabbits and snakes.... they sensed this was devolving rapidly, and they were clearly outsized.
The oaks just started look upward, sensing there was nothing that they could say to make the maples understand that things were the way they were and feeling the best thing would be to just ignore the smaller trees until they grew bored with this new obsession with light and the need for more of it.
The maple who had originally decried the point if oak loftiness shouted up again as the chanting eventually drew to a close. "WE WILL NOT BE IGNORED! We voted last night and formed the Firat United Maple Tree Brotherhood! We will have our equal rights, and we will have them sooner not later! A mockingbird was sent to the place called Washington to call for the forestry service to ensure you give us access to the light we deaire!"
The oaks were aghast. Unlike the maples, they had birds on long journeys who sometimes rested on their uppermost limbs, and who had heard tales of how this place called Washington dealt with problems in Forests...
"You fools. You've doomed us all. Just last month we heard stories from some Robins who had returned home after winter to their forest to find that it had been laid bare. The human had come... they made all the trees equal in height, using hatchets, axes, and saws. None of the trees were lacking sunlight because THEY WERE ALL STUMPS!"
A few of the maples cried out in horror at this... but there was nothing that could be done now. The mockingbird had been dispatched and now all there was to do but wait for the lumberjacks to arrive.
The maples murmured angrily amongst themselves, as one of them proclaimed to the rest of the forest...
"The point remains uncontested... the oaks are much too greedy! They are grabbing up all the light!"
The other maples punctuated the speakers words with a chorus of harumphs and angry agreements.
"We can not help how high we grow," came the lofty reply of the targets of the maples' ire. "Moreover, even if we could help it, this seems more of a you problem than an us problem. We quite like the way we're made. Have you tried growing taller?" The oaks all hear-heared their support of this reasonable notion.
The oaks' response did nothing to settle the maples' anger, and cries of protest. "TRIED... GROWING... Are you even listening to the words you are saying? If we were even capable of just growing taller, we would need more sunlight to gather the necessary energy to do so, which you clearly are unwilling to do!"
Another oak cast down a disdainful reply. "Well I for one do not believe you are showing much appreciation for just how hot it gets up here under the sun... I think you ought to be more grateful and happy for the shade we are offering you maples."
One maple, clearly enraged, made as if to charge the oak that had given this tone deaf response, but stayed in place and instead screamed out.... "Oppression!" The other maples took up the word and made it chant... "OPPRESSION! OPPRESSION! OPPRESSION! OPPRESSION!"
The forest creatures began to leave the area... the squirrels, and birds, and rabbits and snakes.... they sensed this was devolving rapidly, and they were clearly outsized.
The oaks just started look upward, sensing there was nothing that they could say to make the maples understand that things were the way they were and feeling the best thing would be to just ignore the smaller trees until they grew bored with this new obsession with light and the need for more of it.
The maple who had originally decried the point if oak loftiness shouted up again as the chanting eventually drew to a close. "WE WILL NOT BE IGNORED! We voted last night and formed the Firat United Maple Tree Brotherhood! We will have our equal rights, and we will have them sooner not later! A mockingbird was sent to the place called Washington to call for the forestry service to ensure you give us access to the light we deaire!"
The oaks were aghast. Unlike the maples, they had birds on long journeys who sometimes rested on their uppermost limbs, and who had heard tales of how this place called Washington dealt with problems in Forests...
"You fools. You've doomed us all. Just last month we heard stories from some Robins who had returned home after winter to their forest to find that it had been laid bare. The human had come... they made all the trees equal in height, using hatchets, axes, and saws. None of the trees were lacking sunlight because THEY WERE ALL STUMPS!"
A few of the maples cried out in horror at this... but there was nothing that could be done now. The mockingbird had been dispatched and now all there was to do but wait for the lumberjacks to arrive.