Favourite plane quotes

I'm sure many here are esteemed travellers, some even willing to micromanage their flight time by setting alarms in the middle of the night in order to maximise their networth-earned-to-energy-wasted-ratio, and all of us have come across a fair share of funny airplane quotes while endlessly refreshing the page in order to be able to deposit your money to the Caymans the very second you land to not get mugged to oblivion.

So, this is exactly what third thread is for. Share the plane quotes you love most! This ought to be fun :)

I'll go first!

"Torn last held a spelling bee in 2003. The result was 12 dead and 48 injured."

Traders in Torn are encouraged to store their trading money somewhere safe as quickly as possible after a transaction due to the proliferation of "buy muggers" in the city - opportunistic scumbags who monitor trading chatrooms in order to steal your profits as soon as you've acquired them. You can counter this action by simply shutting the hell up.

fact: Purchasing a stock ticker allows players to participate in the stock market, and lose their money in an entirely new way other than being mugged.

"There are some who believe Torn is a virtual city akin to something you'd see in the Matrix, but these people are lunatics and must be locked in padded rooms."

If you were to take every item sold at Torn's bazaars everyday and lay them end to end, you'd probably end up shot to death by the owners.

England was involved in the shortest war in history, a conflict with Zanzibar which lasted only 38 minutes. Shortly after Zanzibar's surrender the nation's leader received a telegram from France commending them for holding out so long.

[image: media.tenor.com]

On Torn's item market you can purchase various blood bags covering every blood-type known to man. But since most people either don't know or have forgotten what type they are, some have resorted to mixing them in a bucket and hoping for the best.

The one that tells us which company is number 1 in any type of company. 

More than half of Switzerland's domestic electricity is produced by hydroelectric power plants, whereas Torn relies on a combination of burnt trash and animals running in tiny wheels 200 meters below the city.

[image: i.ibb.co]

Torn's citizens are ranked on a scale from 1 to 100 to let everyone know how violent they are. We stop at 100 for no other reason than counting makes our heads hurt.

I ain't gettin on no plane fool

Who you calling fool, fool?

"There are a total of 2,248,186 people living in Torn City today. Did you know that if you were to take just ten of them, line them all up in a row, and shoot them straight in the face, nobody would care. Do it if you like, everyone else does."

Of course I fixed it a bit. 

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Dark! Load image: dizzy

It is what it is

The average pot for a game of Foot Russian Roulette is $48,665,431 and since you've a 50/50 chance of winning it's actually a better bet than most other casino games. What have you got to lose? Except your foot? And your money?

"Collectively the people of Torn have $2,880,013,209,676 available on hand right this minute, meaning if they wanted to they could all pitch in and cure world hunger - but they'd rather spend it on drugs."