Ultimate Poker Guide

A little background of myself before I teach you my secrets. I am not a Poker Pro, I've never played Poker at a real casino or anywhere other than Torn (except an occasional home game and the time I played with my grandpa for match sticks). My experience is unique and is only related to Torn Poker, do not use this guide to play poker anywhere other than Torn (doing so would void any warranty if there were one, but there isnt so this was just filler). 

There are 3 steps that must be followed exactly, deviating from the steps could result in losses. I personally have not tried this strategy but I can provide plenty of evidence on its effectiveness. This strategy is not for everyone, you do need to put together a "small" bankroll to begin and when I say "small", I literally mean small, I don't know why I used Quotes around small. Another caveat is that this strategy can only be played at certain tables during certain times so you may have to be patient and resourceful to find the right time and table to implement the strategy.

1. Sit down at a table with Frenzy (if you dont know who that is, you probably are not reading this because if you read Poker forums you would know)
2. Get fed hands from RNJesus. Don't worry the algorithm is set to screw Frenzy so you'll win. This has been proven by multiple videos of normal Poker happening.
3. Leave table and bank it. You'll be an instant thousandaire in well an instant. My understanding is that this will likely happen as soon as you sit down.

This Forum/Strategy is for entertainment purposes only. You should gamble responsibly and only bet what you can afford to lose. Results may vary. If you inferred that there was a guarantee of success, that is on you, I am implicitly telling you there is not. If you made it through this guide, I'm sorry.

This strategy is verified to work, just fold everything until you get the nuts

I'd love to see you try this on my account, see how that works out for you, after you've gone 300 hands, and still waiting for the ''nuts''

Then you finally get something big/the nuts, and everyone miraculously has nothing at all

and repeat

Man describes poker

I describe poker for some people

For many others, it's sit down, hit a full house, then be fed AA, then 3 hands later KK, then pocket pairs and hit a set..

Mean while for me, getting a bit of that ''luck'' is very rare

Though tbf I sat down today, and was fed hands myself for a change.. So quickly went from 30mill to 205mill in 2 hours, and finished on 185mill.. 

Thought that's really rather rare

Spent 17 hours playing yesterday, just utterly capped on hands and wins.. Went from 10mill to 150mill, while hard capped, and was running so dead, it took me another 8 hours to get back to 150mill, after eventually dropping to about 100m

You're simply describing the variance that happens to every human that plays poker.

Have you ever considered that this isn't the game for you?

No, I'm describing Torn poker algorithm that works more like a slot machine.. 

Why would it not be the game for me? I'm better than most.. 

I just don't really like playing against an algorithm pretending to be legit random

Poker?

I hardly know her...

(EDIT: that was the obligatory response, in first.)

Who is most? He must be really really bad.

Yh, they mostly are.. Doesn't stop them from being fed nice hands on repeat though, while us actual dangerous players get utterly hard capped, or we'd win too much

So I sat down and played with Frenzy yesterday at Riverwild and here his my honest analysis.

I think he is a good poker player. I think he was hurt by the lower tables where everyone just calls and jams with any 2 cards and he lost some big hands which jaded him. In our session, I saw him refuse to raise preflop with big pocket pairs several times leading him to win the minimum possible and when I called him out on it he said I dont understand why he plays like that. He plays like that for 2 reasons, 1. He his jaded by his previous experiences and 2. He thinks he is trapping and or people will fold if he raises. What he doesnt understand is that he needs to get as many people out of the hand as possible and that there is always someone who will call, especially vs him and his mouth. You cannot be afraid to lose to some donkey because he is making bad calls, you will win more than you lose to that player isolated. You cannot allow everyone to stay in the hand because you will lose more to the group as a whole than you win. I hope you can grasp that understanding. He left so much money on the table. He needs to maximize his wins to offset his losses. 

The other thing he does is folds a bad hand, then watches it hit either 2p or a straight and gets frustrated with that which leads him to play trash hands.

He also slow plays way too many hands, thinking he is trapping someone but in reality he just isnt building the pot and again not maximizing his wins.

My advice would be to have a short memory, forget about the big hands you've lost and the weak hands you folded that hit. Judge your play on the information you have at the time of your decision. And be more aggressive with your winning hands.

Additionally if I were him I wouldn't focus so much on poker or scale it back a little until I built up my bank investment to 2 bill and then just used the weekly interest to play with and start building a bankroll. His NW was 50 mil playing at a 200 mil buyin table. I would also play comatose cove over RW for the same buyin if I was him.

Take the advice or not I dont care. I fully expect you to tell me that I dont understand, but one of us is a successful profit poker player and the other one is you. Good day sir.

Followed advice, lost 5b

Maybe try submitting a warranty claim

Didnt follow advice, didnt lose 5b. This method clearly doesnt work

Assuming everything Frenzy says is 100% factual this strategy is foolproof. Reported for exploiting. 

Pokerchad

All good in theory, but what about for those the algorithm is just against?!? 

Don't know how I only just seen this whole load of fallacy and assumptions, based very loosely on actual reality...

Enough said...

But I digress..

Skipping all the other fallacies and assumptions, I'm not sure where you get the ''slow play'' from, either.. I don't ''slow play'' anything ever... You probably just seen me being slow, because was busy doing something else, and assumed I slow played it pre-flop when it turned out I had a good hand, or something.. Because I don't even have a clue why you think I slow play hands.. 

But then again, everything else you came up with is basically wrong, so it's no surprise there

''he is a good poker player, but I think he has little actual clue, and I know better than him'' 

Interesting.. Do tell me more that I already know, a lot better than you.. 

You're literally trying to tell me I don't know basic stuff that I've known for 20 + years.. Hilarious 

Btw.. one of us is fed nice hands and wins on repeat

and one of us is lucky if they hit 2 pair and win, after waiting 37 hands..

But I probably just don't know how to play poker, or something.. 

Yes, good day 

I thought I came to my conclusions by sitting down and watching you play, but perhaps I was wrong and I was watching some dude named Frenzy25. You keep doing what you are doing brother, maybe eventually the algorithm will stop strangling you and ched will lift the hard cap from you.

I do hope so..

It sure is getting tiresome folding off sweet nothing after sweet nothing, while watching the plebs get fed nice winning hands on repeat