There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.
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TheUltimate420 [1694768] Level 17 Battle Toads BATL Leader
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There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.
So last Friday was my first time taking shrooms. I got 4gs but only took like 1.5 because I was sharing with a couple friends. Anyway a few hours into the trip someone brought over some ice, so I got tweaked out, and it instantly brought my shroom high down to almost sober. Me and 1 friend are feeling real good from everything and decide to go for a walk around midnight. Before we know it it's 3am. I haven't had a drink in hours so we walk to the nearest open store. When I get there I saw a guy just talking to the clerk, but I paid him no attention and just got my drink. My friend however just started chitchatting with him. As it turns out he got in a wreck and was walking home about 20 miles from where we were so I offer him a ride in exchange for gas money, and he's like hell yea. We go back to the motel room to smoke a little weed and I tell him I'm tweaked out and coming down from shrooms. He says he does them too so we just chit chat about psychedelics. We all get in the car and he asks if we can make a stop first, so I say depends on what the stop is. He says when I got in the wreck I had some shrooms and I ditched them I just want to pick them up before they get found and ill give you some. So I agree and we head there. He gets his shrooms and we leave. At this point he shows me the bags, one was huge and the other was not so huge but still had a lot. We go to his place and ask for a couple shrooms, he looks at both the bags and just gives us the smaller bag. Me and my friend were both shocked as ****. I told him he didn't have to give us that much, but he insisted so I did. Then he invites us into the house to smoke medical grade weed, and he doesn't even take a hit off either bowl. It's 6 at this point and we leave. When I got home I weighed the bag and it was 20gs, and that's after I sold around 3gs. I still can't believe the luck i had. I took a picture for proof, link is below
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/YgEJMnV
My friend Cazz called me and said he had some cid. I went to his house and scooped him up, then we went to my place. A couple hours later me and my gf dropped 2 tabs 100mics each. A while goes by and I have this high that felt like I was super stoned on weed. We migrated from the kitchen to the living room and a few minutes later I start crawling on the floor staring at the carpet, when the individual strands of carpet started growing tall like towers and I busted out laughing. I kept staring at the carpet and i felt like I was watching through my eyes from really far away down like a tunnel or something which just blew my mind and all I could say was whoooaa. Then I remembered Cazz telling me to look at a pattern on my TV stand so I looked at it and it looked like the original Scooby doo logo which made me laugh hard af again. Some time passes with me just tripping the **** out (and loving every second) and I find myself looking up at the couch from the floor when the pillows looked like a stoned hippo was smiling at me. At the peak ( i assume) my vision just started kaleidoscoping Pentagon's from the bottom right of my vision to the top left and I felt like I was in an entirely new dimension. A little while later I just started feeling horrible, out of no where, and I new it was taking a turn for the bad, when I looked at Cazz (who was tripsitting) and told him I was going south. He brought me back to a neutral state, like it wasn't good or bad for most of the rest of the trip until I started coming down. The best way I could describe how my trip felt is that I was looking at a reflection and trying to find the spot where the reflection ends and reality begins. I never thought it was gonna be THAT intense. I can't wait til my next trip. I also smoked like 3 joints and a bowl before the telrip
I took the test twice because i got distracted in the middle. Its somewhere between 122 and 136. Im basically a genius the general public lies between 80-90. Also i took the test stoned with the tv on in the background. Im not trolling or bullshiting
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I posted this in the wrong thread earlier. But anyways https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTw_lSo5b5E
I pissed off my brother and... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nTw_lSo5b5E
https://youtu.be/nTw_lSo5b5E
https://youtu.be/pDUlNZpCFcI
https://youtu.be/sR4tyRxpGr8
Shrooms
So last Friday was my first time taking shrooms. I got 4gs but only took like 1.5 because I was sharing with a couple friends. Anyway a few hours into the trip someone brought over some ice, so I got tweaked out, and it instantly brought my shroom high down to almost sober. Me and 1 friend are feeling real good from everything and decide to go for a walk around midnight. Before we know it it's 3am. I haven't had a drink in hours so we walk to the nearest open store. When I get there I saw a guy just talking to the clerk, but I paid him no attention and just got my drink. My friend however just started chitchatting with him. As it turns out he got in a wreck and was walking home about 20 miles from where we were so I offer him a ride in exchange for gas money, and he's like hell yea. We go back to the motel room to smoke a little weed and I tell him I'm tweaked out and coming down from shrooms. He says he does them too so we just chit chat about psychedelics. We all get in the car and he asks if we can make a stop first, so I say depends on what the stop is. He says when I got in the wreck I had some shrooms and I ditched them I just want to pick them up before they get found and ill give you some. So I agree and we head there. He gets his shrooms and we leave. At this point he shows me the bags, one was huge and the other was not so huge but still had a lot. We go to his place and ask for a couple shrooms, he looks at both the bags and just gives us the smaller bag. Me and my friend were both shocked as ****. I told him he didn't have to give us that much, but he insisted so I did. Then he invites us into the house to smoke medical grade weed, and he doesn't even take a hit off either bowl. It's 6 at this point and we leave. When I got home I weighed the bag and it was 20gs, and that's after I sold around 3gs. I still can't believe the luck i had. I took a picture for proof, link is below
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/YgEJMnV
To have all the knowledge in the entire multiverse
http://bf4stats.com/xbox/ButtBlaster1996 Keep in mind the only game I ever played online before bf was cod, and that was only like a couple times, and I didn't understand how different they were for a while.
My friend Cazz called me and said he had some cid. I went to his house and scooped him up, then we went to my place. A couple hours later me and my gf dropped 2 tabs 100mics each. A while goes by and I have this high that felt like I was super stoned on weed. We migrated from the kitchen to the living room and a few minutes later I start crawling on the floor staring at the carpet, when the individual strands of carpet started growing tall like towers and I busted out laughing. I kept staring at the carpet and i felt like I was watching through my eyes from really far away down like a tunnel or something which just blew my mind and all I could say was whoooaa. Then I remembered Cazz telling me to look at a pattern on my TV stand so I looked at it and it looked like the original Scooby doo logo which made me laugh hard af again. Some time passes with me just tripping the **** out (and loving every second) and I find myself looking up at the couch from the floor when the pillows looked like a stoned hippo was smiling at me. At the peak ( i assume) my vision just started kaleidoscoping Pentagon's from the bottom right of my vision to the top left and I felt like I was in an entirely new dimension. A little while later I just started feeling horrible, out of no where, and I new it was taking a turn for the bad, when I looked at Cazz (who was tripsitting) and told him I was going south. He brought me back to a neutral state, like it wasn't good or bad for most of the rest of the trip until I started coming down. The best way I could describe how my trip felt is that I was looking at a reflection and trying to find the spot where the reflection ends and reality begins. I never thought it was gonna be THAT intense. I can't wait til my next trip. I also smoked like 3 joints and a bowl before the telrip
Daft as in stupid?
Lol you can deny me if you choose but notice i did say i know its inaccurate, that is why i posted my ASVAB and GED scores (GED is 3020 which got me in the top 5% of SC in 2012). As far as my punctuation and english in general goes, im posting on a public forum of an online game, i dont have to write perfectly. I loved the jokes though so keep them coming.
I meant dice not eyes. I'm on mobile using voice type because my phone's keyboard is mostly broke. Also I'm 21 and male
It did have colored eyes but there was no decimal multiplying. I did take the ASVAB which does have some decimal multiplying and I scored a 71 out of 99 on that