Nobody ever reads these posts, so I can just say what I want, whether it's relevant or not.
But I can also finally complain about our mighty dictator Xena.
She has been running this faction with an iron fist, spanking everyone who misbehaves. Hmmm, now I think of it, our faction kitty keeps begging to be spanked, but it never happens. So, perhaps our mighty dictator is not so harsh after all.
And, should you have read this: send five sheep plushies to -G-I-B-, with the message: “Read the forum!”
You know, at this moment, we have 89 members in the faction. Among them are a kitty and a chef. I love the idea of the chef, but that chef lives so far away that I can never profit from the incredible meals he makes. So, our faction needs more chefs! And specifically, chefs living in the Netherlands. You will then be part of our fantastic cooking team and be privileged to deliver me a daily meal at home.
Doesn't that sound awesome?
If you're a chef and in the Netherlands, you just must join us!
If you're not a chef or not in the Netherlands, you can still apply and might still become part of our fantastic team. However, I would rather not receive your meals then.
You joined a faction two days ago, and it is not Aquarius? How can that be? Were the apply buttons mixed up, and did you accidentally press the wrong one? I will immediately ask the developers to replace all apply buttons with the only one that matters: the one that applies at Aquarius.
Just so others understand, we have the weirdos and nice leadership. We have everything. And, keep in mind, Aquarius is unique as it has me. I mean, there are factions that have weirdos and perhaps even leadership that comes close to ours. But none of them has me, the nonsense sprouting forum poster.
Anyway, Affluenza, should you realize you applied to the wrong faction, you can still apply with us. :)
Torn is all about criminal stuff, but did you know that:
Even the most notorious crime families have a “family‑style” rule about pizza.
In the 1970s, the Italian‑American Mafia in New York reportedly instituted a “no‑cheese‑on‑the‑pie” policy for meetings because the strong smell of melted mozzarella was said to attract unwanted attention from rival crews, and, apparently, hungry pigeons!
Now, if you join Aquarius, you can have your pizza with cheese, as we are not very crime-focused, we're more the type of faction that fights family feuds, known in Torn as ranked wars.
So, order pizza, grab your feuding weapons, and join us!
Nobody ever reads these posts, so I can just say what I want, whether it's relevant or not.
But I can also finally complain about our mighty dictator Xena.
She has been running this faction with an iron fist, spanking everyone who misbehaves. Hmmm, now I think of it, our faction kitty keeps begging to be spanked, but it never happens. So, perhaps our mighty dictator is not so harsh after all.
And, should you have read this: send five sheep plushies to -G-I-B-, with the message: “Read the forum!”
Okay, it's a long time ago that I posted in this thread, so I suppose I am allowed again.
And what can I say. Aquarius still is the best faction. We have the nicest people, we have wars to win. And, sometimes, some wars we lose. That last is obviously on purpose, because we're actually unbeatable. But that's a secret we only tell people that are over five years in the faction.
Thus, the sooner you join, the sooner you know our secret of being unbeatable.
Apply today, and don't mention my name, or you will be rejected. See you in Aquarius!
It looks like everyone in the faction is getting super excited about the coming Halloween event.
As they should be because we're going to go for this elusive 100k chain.
If you think you can contribute to a chain of that length and would like to be part of it, apply. If you think of slacking and being carried to victory, there are a ton of factions for you, but not Aquarius.
Join us today, and go get that achievement of a 100k chain with us!
Or, might they be discussing raising my huge bonus for posting from 1 Xanax to 2 Xanax?
I shall await the amazing bonus.
Oh, while you do not get paid for posting here, we still have a very fancy faction. I think you can't find a nicer one, but apply, join us, and find out for yourself.
@Xena and @Thor: In case you do take over Torn City, I want a fancy, very impressive-sounding title so people can immediately see I might not be good at stuff, but I am mighty important.
I haven't posted anything in quite some time. The blame is obviously to be put on our leadership.
But, I'll be honest, it's just laziness.
However, this past weekend, we had a break from wars. This means I did very little and decided that I could put a bit more effort into the most awesome faction of Torn.
I was pondering whether I should annoy everyone by blabbering into faction chat or on Discord. Then I realized I don't need to annoy my faction mates by blabbering; I can annoy the rest of the world!
Therefore: if you do not want to be annoyed by my blabbering, stop reading recruitment posts and join Aquarius! And tell Xena that you joined because of me, so she can give me my reward.
I suppose everyone knows Aquarius is a star constellation. If not, let me tell you where to find it: between Capricornes and Pisces. Of course, if you had no idea that Aquarius is a star constellation, you probably have no clue where to find these other two, either. But it's okay; in the most simple format, it is 'up'.
This is probably why Xena keeps blurting out 'up', she wants you to reach for the stars and rise above the simpletons.
Aquarius is one of the oldest star constellations, being listed in the 2nd century by Ptolemy and the Babylonians before that. The faction is not quite that old, but we have been around for some time already.
So, move upwards, reach for the stars, and apply. We have some normal people and a whole bunch of weirdos. We also have cookies, but somehow, they always end up being taken by our faction kitty.
There is a good reason: it's the dull training period. That's really when I wonder why I am even playing this game. Click train, click refill, click train, click xanax, click train, and then repeat later that day.
Some people get really excited about those numbers they see, but to me, it's just a different number; it doesn't make much difference.
Anyway, if you like training, you should join our faction, as we help you with Xanax and refills. Should you not like training, even better: we usually have some wars going on, and you can stop just clicking train and can now press the attack button. And that button is much more exciting!
Apply, pay me my 5$ fee for bringing this to your attention, and join us.
How can you fully enjoy Torn, if not watching the "monkey house" up close?
We have the overly charming gentleman Thor. He will happily make sure you feel happy in our faction. And bark orders, too. But you can pretend to have incapacitated hearing and ignore them. I am sure he will understand that.
