Kalisa: forum

Is Big Al not returning your calls about this one? 

Yes, lovely members of Torn, it was 1 year ago TODAY, that our dear, beloved D3vl started this 63 page retirement thread to let us know he was DONE. WITH. TORN. 

[image: i.imgur.com]

Can you BELIEVE it's been a WHOLE YEAR WITHOUT D3VL?!?!?! 

It seems like just yesterday D3vl was posting stupid shit in the forums and people were laughing at him. I can't believe that he's been gone for so long! How time flies! 

We all remember him from legendary things like attacking PT while they were on war perks and chaining because he was made at Nuke and then whining about Nuke calling PT in to help, the Smurf Gun, selling a faction in the middle of its chain, and countless, endless threats to RUIN TORN CAREERS that have been made to hundreds of Torn players, which he doggedly followed through on for hours and sometimes even a full day. 

So in memory of this epic, unforgettable player, what are your favorite memories about D3vl? What do you miss the most about him? What was the best meme people made about him? 

Please join me in remembrance of this fine player, who thoughtfully retired before he could sully his sterling Torn reputation. 

[image: i.imgur.com]

While he already quit three times, it seems that one of the greatest players to ever play the game has died. We know he's dead, because if he was quitting, he'd have made yet another thread about it. 

Please join me in a solemn moment of remembrance, and remember, no matter how passionate you are about the unfairness of smurf guns,  that might not be enough to sustain your love for the game. And even if you hate how RW match-making works, how RWs are paid out, how RWs are fought, how halloween works, how moderation is done, and how the economy is handled, and a thousand other things, even that much hate might not be enough to keep you logging in. 

RIP D3vl. You would have made a great community manager. 

Well folks, thanks to the last few days, bogie has given us the template for how every faction, and ESPECIALLY every large faction family can set up their compliant websocket mugbot.

Since we can't scrape pages we're not on, or have multiple tabs open listening, BUT WEBSOCKET LISTENING SCRIPTS ARE STILL ALLOWED, the simple answer is to just distribute it across the faction family, 1 Item Market category per online, active member. 

In larger families, it should be easy to get enough members online at a given time to cover all 24 Item Market categories, with 24 hour, redundant socket listening scripts, all feeding that live info back to the family discord mugbot. It just requires a handful of the members to pop open the right Item Market tab in their primary browser window, open discord in a second window, and wait for the mugs to roll in. 

That way they are actively viewing the tab, there's only one open, so there's no illegal activity. 

Where SHAT got in trouble was having the leads running a dozen tabs in the background doing this. But they kind-of had to, because they're a small family, and there's no way that enough of them are online at any one time to cover most of the important categories. Bigger faction families shouldn't have this issue, so it should be trivial to implement. 

Edit: I just realized that you can have your discord bot hand out the links to the pages it needs your mug watchers to be monitoring. So you show up for some mugs, it hands you a link to have open which is the most valuable/least watched page, so you don't even have to think about what page to lurk on to feed the bot. 

Toby Flenderson, report to the principal's office, your mother called and it appears you have wet the bed again so you have to get home and wash your sheets because they're yellow and wet with your urine.

Not every one. I was on the original Pink Power...

That still ranks as one of the biggest shit-shows in torn history, in my eyes. 

Well, at least you didn't get negative stats from it. (That got patched out a long time ago.) 

I've made the suggestion. Now all it needs is some traction. 

No, but at least it would cause some friction. Right now there's never any drama or fighting at all. 

All the factions in each alliance would need to agree to keep exactly the same territories, or they'd need to negotiate some changes. That would cause at least some issues, and that's the sort of thing that can break an alliance up. 

Also, it would be a good time for smaller factions to go grab some TTs and see how long they could hold onto them. Right now, there's no real way to get to S2/S1 for a smaller faction. If the whole map got reset, it would be a mad dash to the center, and then the major alliances would need to spend a few weeks cleaning out all the factions that grabbed land. 

It's not a perfect solution, but it's better than doing nothing like ched is now. 

Everything you're fighting with gets resolved with seasons. Here, go read my brilliant idea for how to spice up torn, with zero fucking development effort. 

$100m on neither having a chill BBQ this weekend. 

Well, apparently sugar-valves, S-I-S, and I3omb are next, in case you need a new name as leader. 

A pillar of the community? 

North tower, or south tower? 

From a used keg. 

What do you expect? 

Get a fresh keg, and then come post with your count. Don't steal an empty from a frat party and bitch about it being empty. 

Wait....someone with over 1500 enemies isn't an upstanding citizen? This is quite shocking, and I don't think anyone could have seen this coming. 

I abhor the holiday special effects. I do NOT want shit animated between my eyes and what I want to look at. 

I literally ad-blocked the Torn logo, so I don't have to mouse over that absolute trash. 

The fact that you're doing this stupid bullshit rather than fixing the million problems with this game is appalling. Stop trying to prevent us from seeing your trash, and fix your trash. 

I just want to see them implement my brilliant suggestion of only picking active players for mission targets. It would make this game soooo much more entertaining. 

In the patch notes for today, we get this gem: 

- Fixed incorrect a/an usage in Crimes 1.0 jail reason text 🐞

The lack of focus here is amazing. We were told "a new crime every 1-2 months after Arson, because that was hard!", and we've seen nothing for EIGHT MONTHS!!!

But you're still going to waste time going back and working on grammar issues for Crimes 1.0? As if that's worth spending even 10 seconds of dev time on?

Well, if that sort of thing distracts you from actually doing your job, I guess we know why "every 1-2 months" is out of the gate with 8 months of nothing. 

Get ched to cover the costs of a real war and we'll real war a lot more often. But when we lose billions on a real war, no way are we doing that every week. 

When the top of this game does a real war, it's a $5b-$10b outlay on our part. The last real one we did wasn't a really big one, and I was looking at the mercenary bill and going, "$400m? That's not that bad!" 

We need to term a bunch of them to afford the real ones. Fix that problem, and we can war for real more often. 

Glad to see you sticking with this, despite the ups and downs and challenges. It's a really cool way to random-walk through torn and see the good and the bad of factions, that probably only you will ever see. 

I'm living vicariously through you, lol. 

Can't wait till the day you show up on our doorstep. 

Was a good scrap, Arcadia. Look at that little bit of red hours 1-2 when 811 had E and low med CD. It's ADORABLE. Probably cost us a whole hour or two. 

You're a monster, and nobody can deny it. 

Which one? 

In the patch notes today, a few people are working on voting for Elimination leads. 

This would be a great time to add in the ability to do a vote of no confidence, to remove leads. 

If Elimination isn't a shitshow enough already, imagine how exciting it would be if leaders got officially replaced half-way through because the team didn't like the strategy or vibes or lack of free cans. 

Heck, you could even bribe other teams to vote out their own leads. 

This could be as simple as just giving lead permissions to the top two in the voting, but never closing it. Just let people change their vote anytime after day 1, and if someone loses support, one minute they are lead, the next they aren't. 

And for everyone reading this and thinking it's a horrible idea and would lead to absolute chaos in Elimination teams.....first time here?