Manchester United - Burnley 3-0 Middlesbrough - Bournemouth 0-0 Tottenham v Leicester 2-1 Watford v Hull 1-1 West Brom v Manchester City 0-2 Brighton v Norwich 0-1
You have gotten your hands on a cursed E-Mail! Which means that after reading this you will be cursed too! DO NOT stop reading though. The first recipient of this mail, an old Irish drunkard by the name of Jack O'Lantern, thought he'd be smart and just stopped reading to avoid the curse. He died! Yes. He died 17 years later in an unrelated but very bizzare gardening accident. Do you know that movie "The Ring" where people die 7 days after watching a video tape? Yeah... This mail is pretty much the same. Just without the whole dying part. Or any other part for that matter. See, this mail may not bring you death or even worse: a spooky ghost of a dead girl that will haunt you at midnight unless you resend this mail to at least 13 friends. No. BUT it will bring you something that makes you wish for death! Or at least makes you wish you'd never have read this mail. I'm talking about mild inconveniences and annoying facts! Like overdosing from an Ecstacy after stacking your energy with 3 Xanax. Or the fact that your brain ignores your nose in your peripheral vision. Also you are now breathing manually and you realize that your jaw has a weight that you're constantly holding up. If your next crime fails and you end up in jail: that was because of this mail too.
Please do have fun finding a comfortable position in your mouth for your tongue and never winning the jackpot in the casino!
Kind regards, Chedburn, Hydro, Prodi, Blondie, Porny and Scorten
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