TheLamia: forum

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Am I doing it right?

What a silly question, fellow humans. As a fellow human who is human in all human ways, I must suggest you stop thinking that entities that feed off your life force exist. That is human ridiculous fellow humans--and I encourage anybody that tells you we vampires are real is crazy and to point at them, and remark as to how they are crazy humans. That their comments to not trust certain sorts as taking your life force as credible--and to keep those certain sorts around and in your communities. Possibly even invite them into scenarios where they could have lots of that life force, just to demonstrate how crazy that crazy human was for saying nonsense claims of warning you.

The question of if Vampires, Lamia, Strigi, Nosferatu, Succubus and various of other Mormos being real is ridiculous fellow humans. We most certainly are fictional inventions of your imaginations.

I understand how most humans walk around being delicious bags of various tasty fluids, that it might seem weird you do not have any predators there to take from you that delicious flavour filled stuff you know you are walking around with. Except it is--you have no reason to worry about your own deliciousness, fellow humans. So keep being quite delicious without any further worries, fellow humans.

I have been informed by many news sources that there is a war against Christmas. I must say--that it is about darn time. Papa Noel's tyrannical reign has lasted for far too long, and somebody needs to take down the fat man.

Christmas has long since annexed the territory of Thanksgiving (both Canadian AND American), Remembrance Day and has started designs on Labour Day weekend (one of them Communist Canadian Holidays... what with all the proletarians seizing various means of production up here). All Hallow's Eve has been holding out as a bit of a stronghold against the constant encumbrance of the ever approaching invasion of the Yule Tide Forces. All Saints Day has long since fallen--and it appears the general inability to pronounce Samhain has bought spooky time some time, before it too will be engulfed by the Imperialistic Tendencies of Navidad Conquistadors.

I've long since wanted to do my part in taking down the megalomaniacal Mr. Claus--and now that I have been informed that there has been a proper war being declared, I wish to join the Rebellion. The Rebellion against the man in red! I just... uh... haven't figured out where I am to sign up. I mean--there clearly NEEDS to be a war against the evil dread forces of the season. Christmas needs to be stopped! Too many Holidays have fallen to it already. Lest we not forget the fate Saturnalia has felt at the Christmas betrayal!

... I really hope the staff do not see this post...

... They might implement this as an NPC for Expert Level Duke Missions...

So, in a recent, rather educational interaction... in which--ah the back story is stupid. Like, really stupid, I'm stupider for having experienced it... but I got accused of being a fat man blob IRL and just taking other people's pictures to pretend to be a cute girl, and trick people into filling my various inboxes with pictures of dicks. Which has lead me to have a couple of questions.

1) If I were in fact to be a fat blob of man (BEEFCAKE! BEEEEEEFFFCAAAAAKE!)... and were to take somebody else's pictures... wouldn't I take somebody's pictures who are like really really hot? i mean, I am not hideous--I can look cute if paired up with the right props and have the cheerleader effect going... but hot damned, there are some girls on this website, that it is not even gay (or hetero for some of you boys) to be all "yes... that, I want that on my face for days".

Is it a standard fake girling thing to grab kind of middle of the road girl pictures? I mean, I'd have assumed it would be all big breasted Robyns or something like that. Do people actually go out and grab... I dunno, how I'd describe my images... but non-noteworthy girly pictures for this? I do not need to fish for compliments--but seriously... wouldn't I like... grab something that is all yowza or something?

2) If I were to be trying to trick people into sending me pictures... wouldn't I, I dunno, ask for something interesting. I mean, once you've gotten enough dick pictures, you get to a certain point where they just get dull, ordinary and really really blah. It is like getting really invested in a blade of grass. On a related note, there are city bylaws that forbid me from substituting a front lawn with print outs of various dick pictures I've gotten. I've like checked and stuff. That is plural by the way... bylawS... as in way more than one.

I mean... if I were to be trying to trick people into pictures... wouldn't I be all wanting to have something funny or interesting? Maybe some of the memes of the ancient ones--the ancient ones in The Cities of The Geos...or maybe the unspeakable ceremonies for summoning the Eldritch things from realms beyond comprehension--or various jokes related to people trying to join the legions of the damned and their hellish crusades (I understand the leader of the Fallen Angels is a total hottie... like hottie beyond hotties). Maybe some Gundams or AE86 DORIFOTO nonsense. You know... stuff that is not as boring as dicks.

3) So many people are talking about people pretending to be women to get stuff and presents... but that is hard for me to believe. Especially when I do not see anybody pretending to be J Jonah Jameson, editor the Daily Bugle, in attempts to get pictures of Spiderman. I mean... pictures of Spiderman people... if trickery were to be happening, I think the more obvious trickery would be well afoot long before anything else. Spiderman is a menace, people! A menace! And we all want pictures of him, dammit!

-=-

I figured I'd just share this bit of musing, and set of questions. I mean... I ain't hideous... but if I were to be all BEEFCAKE fusion-ha'd with that MMORPG player from South Park... and were using somebody else's pictures... it is not like there is not any steps upward I could go here. I mean, especially on a website with plenty of women that it is not even any kind of indication of orientation to be all, "yup, that is something that is worth aspiring to being the commander of the Coalition of Liberation of Interment Tree dwellers... like making that shit work."

Just... my head is having issues wrapping around that. There is a joke here that continues my last statement and another set of body parts doing a wrapping thing... but I still have not figured out how it would be worded...

I have been informed by many news sources that there is a war against Christmas. I must say--that it is about darn time. Papa Noel's tyrannical reign has lasted for far too long, and somebody needs to take down the fat man.

Christmas has long since annexed the territory of Thanksgiving (both Canadian AND American), Remembrance Day and has started designs on Labour Day weekend (one of them Communist Canadian Holidays... what with all the proletarians seizing various means of production up here). All Hallow's Eve has been holding out as a bit of a stronghold against the constant encumbrance of the ever approaching invasion of the Yule Tide Forces. All Saints Day has long since fallen--and it appears the general inability to pronounce Samhain has bought spooky time some time, before it too will be engulfed by the Imperialistic Tendencies of Navidad Conquistadors.

I've long since wanted to do my part in taking down the megalomaniacal Mr. Claus--and now that I have been informed that there has been a proper war being declared, I wish to join the Rebellion. The Rebellion against the man in red! I just... uh... haven't figured out where I am to sign up. I mean--there clearly NEEDS to be a war against the evil dread forces of the season. Christmas needs to be stopped! Too many Holidays have fallen to it already. Lest we not forget the fate Saturnalia has felt at the Christmas betrayal!

You unrefined foolish fool!

Green Day Wake Me Up When September Ends

So, I'm mostly posting this here, as even though it is a pretty straight forward obvious idea to come to, regarding the current events with dirty bombs... y'all've impressed me with your general inability to put forward some basic thinking together to even come up with the most derivative of jokes and responses.

I will admit that this whole notion for the Septembre Dirty Bombings isn't that big brained and a pretty easy one to come to... but again, you guys have had issues following me when I am making refrances to Dick and Jane books... so I'm going to be nice, and offer this rather simple idea here, that had I still held onto hope for humanity as not being blithering imbosals, I'd have just assumed somebody else would have thought of it.

Wait... if I revive him, can I have him permabounty me as well?

I imagine anything more complex than Dick and Jane books would lose people in Torn.

Though I could say, "Meth Labs for Dummies" being a highly checked out book.

W41T... SO C4N 1 TYP3 W1TH 4 TYP1NG QU1RK? 1S TH4T 4 TH1NG 1 C4N DO NOW?

Not only is your waifu not real... your waifu is shit! You have a shit waifu!

I'm not an Outcast... but I did enter Karma hell by posting an entire thread (original post, and replies) using Terezi Pyrope's typing quirk.

People did not like that.

New course:
A Treasury of Dick and Jane and Friends.

All these forums posts talking about Casino 2.0 (including Poker 2.0), Crimes 2.0, Drugs 2.0, etc.--what will happen with new missions and what not.

But... nobody is asking the important question of "what is the status of Chess 2.0?" Please, can we get an update on that?

Yeah... I call bullshit on that. I'm fairly certain they are just as bad IRL. They just lie about it to themselves.

Not going to lie... I actually want to see Type II Diabeatus being added into the game. It would work nicely along side drug addiction.

There is nothing about being anonymous that makes behaviour worse.

People who are douche bags while anonymous will also be douche bags when they are not anonymous. Just while anonymous they can pretend that it is the anonymity is why, because people believe that nonsense excuse. Yes... I've seen the Penny Arcade comic--but I'm fairly certain that, outside of XKCD (sometimes), web comics are not a valid source of factual information.

Nice people will still be nice when while anonymous.

Wait... so... the days Evil Duck was on the forum is now being called "the good old days back when the forums were still good?"

Because I remember that people were talking about how he was the reason the forums sucked, and that there was much better content "before back when the forums were still good"

One has to posit a possible scenario to be considered that the forums were never good upon hearing such sentiments.

Also... where are the jokes about Erectile Dysfunction? There were suppose to be jokes about Erectile Dysfunction!

... four is unlucky...

I would take care of children like my own... but people keep getting upset when I poke them with a coat hanger and scream about how they are ruining my life and then throwing myself down a flight of stairs.

Want to be famous for posting nonsense? Get a pair of breasts. For some reason, I can state the obvious, and have a shit storm occur by people claiming I am wrong for it--and others claiming I am brave for saying things on par with "The sky is generally in an upwards direction", "The sun rises in the East" and "things generally fall in a downward direction"

Responses about how I am such a thot for saying such thot things like "the sun will rise again the next day"... what a f**king whore, right?

I would read one or two articles done in this style... if I had nothing else I was doing.

Are you suggesting that Sans hasn't been Duke this whole time?

But that is just a theory... a... game theo-*shot*