So, I was trying to rope a friend into joining Torn, but she's getting a 404/404 Not Found Error when she tries. Apparently she can fill in the forms on the desktop site, but when she tries to fill in either the gender or check the terms of service, it gives her just a plain 404.
Wow. That is... really, really shitty of her. I'm sorry that things ended the way they did, but at the very least, I'm glad you've some sort of closure from the situation now and no longer have any pieces of hope to hold onto (which can be absolutely terrible for moving on).
Painful, but I agree with the whole cutting off bit, at least for now while you move on. It's so much harder to emotionally push yourself forward when the thing bringing you pain and heartache is in proximity. Someday, you will be able to look back on all those dates and good times, those things that made you fall in love and be happy, and you'll be able to appreciate them and be happy for the experience, without missing or feeling pain or loss over it. But today isn't that day, and moving on will take our greatest simultaneous friend and enemy: Time.
Losing a partner, especially one you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with? S'like losing a family member. Not exactly the same, but the concept is; someone that was originally a staple in your life is now gone, and you'll likely have to ride out the seven stages of grief (not necessarily in the order as presented).
I understand that pain. Granted, what I've gone through/slash am going through is different, in a lot of regards, but there are common denominators, mostly the pain, I think. And the desire to find someone new and just have all that love and affection back, but also the sinking feeling that it may not ever happen again (because it's so hard to imagine). Weird things have happened with my case, things that offer me a little (read: absurdly massive) hope that I'm unhealthily clinging onto right now... and I'm taking the risk out of desperation, even though I know I'll have to tackle the heartbreak all over again if it doesn't work.
Feel free to message me if you want to talk about our wounded hearts.
And also, don't worry about sounding mopey or that... I don't think it's bullshit at all. It's our lives. Different people have different experiences, outlooks, various methods of coping with pain and their interpretation and feelings about it. It's okay to ask people on the internet for advice, or just to talk. There's solace and comfort to be found in sharing experiences with others of our kind.
