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Balazarr [2169268] Level 16

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72 observed
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Likes as archived at fetch time, adjusted for how long each post had been up. Scored posts only; the full score pass runs after the import.

Joke contest, win some poop! · · 8 likes


OK so I wanna hear your best joke, doesn't have to be torn related, can be copy pasta, anti jokes, puns, knock knocks, don't care. Whatever one makes me laugh the hardest wins. One entry per player, I want at least 15 entries

1st place wins poop

2nd place wins macana

3rd place wins an old lady mask

I will announce the winner on the 28th, the contest will go for one week, upvotes go into consideration as well.

Re-Edit to bump: Come on people, keep them coming! 

Sexy Vocabulary 2.0 · · 3 likes


deracinate: to tear something up by its roots.

When weeding, you want to deracinate the dandelion.

 

"We won't just steal their territories, we will deracinate the entire faction!"

Joke contest, win some poop! · · 2 likes


OK, I'll start (with a copy pasta from reddit)

 

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.

It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."

The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50

The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 300 billion.

The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.

The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish. The first guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.

The second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.

The third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.

The first guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him anymore.

The second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.

The third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways. Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going.

The first guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years."

The second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."

The third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says: "Guys, I think I messed up."

The DawnRazer Revivers · · 3 likes


Joined, its a good faction for both new and experienced players.

Whats with all the furries? · · 4 likes


Anyone else notice a fairly high number of furry RP's in torn? 

What's with that?

Should we embrace them or clean up our streets, I want to hear your thoughts.

 

Edit: its neck and neck with getting them fedded and leave them be!

 

Re-edit: OK so yes admittedly this was just a shit post for laughs, but it was based on some first hand experience. Looks like this actually became a real discussion so I might as well clarify my own standpoint IRL.

I don't take much of the internet seriously, and in the spirit on Andy Kaufman, pretend to be a meathead forsome laughs, or better yet, some authentic reactions from people.

When it actually comes to the topic of furries I think that people of every lifestyle should be free to do as they wish, given everyone involved is age appropriate and consenting. I recognise being a furry isn't just about physical gratification, it is a form of self actualization by embracing oneself, which I wholly support. That being said I encourage mutual roasting in good nature, I personally love being roasted, especially on the internet. In reality most people in kink and alternative lifestyles do tend to be down to earth cool people.

 

Kudos to the people who contributed to the thread with both authentic and funny responses, I actually feel like I'm getting to know people a bit on torn finally.

Recent archived posts

Creepy Poem Time! 2018 ·


Another cold, quite night,

Moisture on the window sill.

Which emenates sick light,

Like poison, the fear will kill.

Locks are locked, safe inside,

That is, until patience fails.

Anticipation, my knife abides,

I'll wake you first, to hear your wails.

Need copy of Baldr's Basic Advice · · 2 likes


Man, I'm happy that a good chunk got recovered, this guide is invaluable to the new player community. Thank you guys for your hard work

Send a Gift to Player above you. ·


You sent a Snowball to Leak with the message: Gift game

grave · · 1 like


Since we gestate inside our mothers, in a way we are our mothers, just a part which diverged. There is an unbroken chain of ancestry going all the way back to the first humans.

 

We are our ancestors, we just can't remember it.

Insult the last posting dickhead ·


Is level 15 and in a villa still because he plays torn like he lives life, as a masterbaiter.

Whats with all the furries? ·


R/Floridaman has some great material as well

Whats with all the furries? · · 1 like


I just won torn forums having read this. 

 

I quit.

Whats with all the furries? · · 2 likes


I'm welsh and Irish and that hit too close to home

My hill, Resurrected. ·


I throw 100's of dark chocolate bars and wine bottles over a cliff adjacent to the hill and watch all the women follow. 

Traps and furries ·


Gay for pay

Whats with all the furries? · · 1 like


Oof, with the relatability.

 

*exiles self* 

Whats with all the furries? · · 1 like


Are you the proto furry? The father of all furries?

Whats with all the furries? ·


What came first, the plushie or the furry?

Whats with all the furries? · · 1 like


I'm not making rules, I'm just encouraging bantz and having fun

Whats with all the furries? ·


Lmao I'm ded.

Whats with all the furries? · · 1 like


Look in the newspaper personals, there is one in there right now. Alcohol dulls ones faculties....

Traps and furries ·


I ask Ched to consider the consequences of letting traps and furries run rampant in his city, think of all the potential Dukes to be born from such a shallow genepool!

I suggest we either sequester them to a few factions, or fed them.

Whats with all the furries? · · 4 likes


Anyone else notice a fairly high number of furry RP's in torn? 

What's with that?

Should we embrace them or clean up our streets, I want to hear your thoughts.

 

Edit: its neck and neck with getting them fedded and leave them be!

 

Re-edit: OK so yes admittedly this was just a shit post for laughs, but it was based on some first hand experience. Looks like this actually became a real discussion so I might as well clarify my own standpoint IRL.

I don't take much of the internet seriously, and in the spirit on Andy Kaufman, pretend to be a meathead forsome laughs, or better yet, some authentic reactions from people.

When it actually comes to the topic of furries I think that people of every lifestyle should be free to do as they wish, given everyone involved is age appropriate and consenting. I recognise being a furry isn't just about physical gratification, it is a form of self actualization by embracing oneself, which I wholly support. That being said I encourage mutual roasting in good nature, I personally love being roasted, especially on the internet. In reality most people in kink and alternative lifestyles do tend to be down to earth cool people.

 

Kudos to the people who contributed to the thread with both authentic and funny responses, I actually feel like I'm getting to know people a bit on torn finally.

My hill, Resurrected. ·


I blow a giant fart and light it, causing an explosion of such force as to drive Uranus hurtling towards earth, towards the hill precisely. The initial explosion, and earths atmosphere break up what is left of Uranus until it is about a meter in diameter, which hits Kidboss03, turning him into a fine paste. We are both dead.

Fav quote of all time!!! ·


"Grassssssss, tastes bad"