miggi: forum

==>  if you enjoy these jokes, please encourage me ;-)   <== 

Duke won $4 million on the lottery this weekend, so he decided to donate a quarter to charity.  Now he has $3,999,999.75.  The scrooge.....



 

==>  if you enjoy these jokes, please encourage me ;-)   <== 

Mr Duke and Mrs Duke are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

 

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

 

An hour later Mr Duke turns to his wife and asks, "Honey, did we pay our $5,000 Torn Charity pledge check yet?" "No, sweetheart," she responds. Mr Duke, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mrs Duke, did we pay our American Express card yet?" "Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says. "One last thing, Mrs Duke. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks. "Oh, forgive me, honey," begged Mrs Duke. "I didn’t send that one, either." Mr Duke grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 50 years. Mrs Duke pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?"

 

Mr Duke answers, "They’ll find us!"

 

 ==>  if you enjoy these jokes, please encourage me ;-)   <== 

Mr Duke took his wife Mrs Duke to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, "Mrs, you know that I'd love to go for a ride in that helicopter." But Mrs Duke would always reply, "I know that Honey, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

Finally, they went to the fair, and Mr Duke said to her, "Mrs, you know I'm 97 years old now. If I don't ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance." Once again Mrs Duke replied, "Honey, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple's conversation and said, "Listen folks, I'll make a deal with you. I'll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say just one word, it's 50 dollars."

Mr Duke and Mrs Duke agreed and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Mr or Mrs Duke. The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still there wasn't so much as one word said. When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Mr Duke and said, "Wow! I've got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn't. I'm really impressed!"

Mr Duke replied, "Well to be honest I almost said something when she fell out but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!"

 

 

 ==>  if you enjoy these jokes, please encourage me ;-)   <== 

Mr Duke and his wife are both 80 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that says, "My dear wife, now that you are 80 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."

Mr Duke returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 80 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a loan shark, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 80 way more than 80 goes into 20. So, don't you wait up for me."

 

 

==>  if you enjoy these jokes, please encourage me ;-)   <== 

 



Duke ambled into a bar, and noticed a bucket behind the counter filled to the brim with cash. "Is there a contest on to win that dough?" Duke asked the bartender. "Yep," the bartender responded, "It costs $50 to enter, and then you have to do three things:

 

First you've got to knock out Spike, our 300-pound bouncer.

Then we've got a pit bull out back with an abscessed tooth, and it's up to you to yank it out.

Finally, the 90-year old lady who owns this place is upstairs. If you can give her a multiple-orgasm, all the money's yours."

Duke was up for it. He paid the fee and approached the hulking doorman. With a single blow, Duke knocked Spike cold. Triumphant, Duke stormed into the bar's backyard. The patrons listened to the pit bull's ferocious bark for several minutes, which was followed by a series of hysterical yelps.

 

Covered with nicks and scratches, Duke reentered the saloon and yelled: "Two down! Now where's that old broad with the abscessed tooth?"

 

i'm looking to buy sweet shop. 6* to 9*. i have bought and sold sweet shops before so i'm familiar with the business.

pls msg me with a price. i am not able to respond to people asking for offers.

thanks.

[sold]

Up

up

Up

You sent a Birthday Present to AgentEncrypted with the message: gift game

Selling 10* sweet shop. Top 10 revenue. Msg me to discuss.

still selling

up

up

up

up

Looking for one active player (login 2x daily) - Full

Already at 10*.

- 30JP for 4,500 happy
- collect 300JP (+ candy happy) to achieve 99,999 happy merit

no trains as I sell them.


msg me with your work stats (above 3k in 2 stats ideally)

best boss in town ;)

Love Despair and Passion

Merry Xmas

+R

Reliable, Reputable, and Recommended !

Mug Buyer...msg me and I'll show you the proof

buy mugger

buy mugger