IceeSwirl: forum

So I was messing around in Vladar's spreadsheet trying to find a cheaper yet similarly effective alternative to the famous "Happy Jump". Then I came across this guide talking about the Loli/Reindeer Jump, and so I decided to base my research around optimizing that, since it had a similar objective to what I was trying to do. After hours of calculations and experimentation, I've found what I'm now calling the Choco Jump. If this is already a thing, great, but as a noob, having a more recent guide explaining it wouldn't hurt.

DECEMBER 2024 UPDATE: DUE TO CRIMES 2.0 The Bag of Candy Kisses COSTS THE SAME AS BBC AND GIVES 15 MORE HAPPY

The Choco Jump is pretty simple, and it's also something you can do on a daily basis if you time it right.

• Make sure to fill up your Natural Energy
• Pop a Xan like the trap lord you are
• Wait for drug cooldown to end..travel, race, trade, or if you're dumb like me, waste all of your money shooting yourself in Russian Footlette :D
• Consume x48 Big Boxes of Chocolate you fatty >:)
• Pop an ecstasy pill, put on your seat-belt and get ready for the ride O~O
• Train.. wrestling drag queens or whatever it is that you do
• Use point refill and wrestle them some more you whore >:)
• Experience true noob gainzzz

Total Cost: $2.4m

Personal Gainz:

[image: i.gyazo.com]



Happy Jump Gains:



[image: i.gyazo.com]



Quick Mafs:

6 days of Choco Jumping = 13,650 GAINZ (1,543 MORE than a Happy Jump)! ($14.1M)

7 days of Choco Jumping = 15,925 GAINZ (3,818 MORE THAN HAPPY JUMP)! ($16.5M)

Happy Jump Gains/Cost: 12,107 ($25M - $27M) EDIT: You'll notice this is lower than what the spreadsheet showed in the image. This is because I mistakenly put 1300 energy instead of 1150 energy. Thanks to Sweetiest for pointing it out!

E-DVDs are not dead though. You save so much from the Choco Jump, that if you are someone who can afford the Happy Jump, you could easily add an E-DVD to your Choco Jumps once or twice a week. Respective to my stats, adding 1 E-DVD adds ~500 gains. So if you did it twice/week (which is still in Happy Jump price range), you'd gain an extra 1,000/week. Obviously this number would go up more as you unlock better gyms and such and if you're in a Adult Novelty Store company that has enough stars to double E-DVD happy gains.



As you can see, the Choco Jump (as far as I can tell), is the best bang for your buck when it comes to training. It also has a much higher success rate than the Happy Jump since you only have to consume 2 drugs (Xan and Ecstasy vs 4 Xans and 1 Ecstasy) meaning less ODs and not as much rehab. You have to do it 6-7 days out of the week to compare to the Happy Jump, but even if you can't afford that, and only do it a few days out of the week, you'll still be getting half of a Happy Jump/week which as a new player is GRRREAT! I'm still a new player myself, (playing for a little over a month now), so I could have made some mistakes so if you notice any, please let me know. If this works out for you, also please let me know! I hope you all found this helpful and can go on ahead to start doing Choco Jumps! :D


!!!!!!!!!!!!HALF CHOCO JUMP METHOD IS BEST METHOD!!!!!!!!!

BONUS METHOD (2x/Day Choco Jump): Expert Level - Half Choco Method

• Do Choco Method except only take 22-24 Big Boxes of Chocolate MAX (I recommend 22 for more flexibility)
• Since you only have a 11-12 hour Booster Cooldown, you can do this method twice/day if you time it right.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BEST METHOD ABOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cost: $22.87M ($4.1M less than HJ)

Gainz: 23.5k - 23.8k (1.97x NEARLY 2X HJ FOR PRICE LESS THAN 1X HJ)



EDIT - HOU5E'S CHOCO JUMP SCHEDULE SHEETS:

[image: i.imgur.com]
[image: i.imgur.com]
[image: i.imgur.com]

Again, thank you to HOU5E for these very useful schedule sheets :D

No one's reading this thread, buddy. I'll leave you with this, then I'm outta ya hair until you decide to weirdly and obsessively bother me again: Elimination. Join it. See you there

Where da hoes at???

That worked. Thanks.

Can't get the plug-in to work on Firefox. Throws an error every time I try to attack somebody meaning I can't attack anyone whilst using the plug-in.

Yeahh you keep it thankfully. I remember my first happy jump attempt, i maxed out my happy then the happy cooldown reset...which lead to me creating the choco jump xD

Baby girl
Whats your name
Let me talk to you
Let me buy you a drink

Half choco jumps are superior to the "mini choco jumps" alternative that you're suggesting. In fact what you're suggesting can't be considered a jump at all.

correct.

Rigged matches? Is this your first Elim?

Already had this exact argument 6 years ago in this exact thread. Guy who made the argument didn't make it passed level 60. Today I'm strong enough to one-shot every member of your faction in a row without needing to heal. The best option to pick is whichever keeps you playing the game. The stat cut off for Happy Jumps/Choco Jumps is so low in the grand scheme of things. They mostly exist so you can reach a minimal level of usefulness quicker.

When I made this guide making money was waaay harder. It's still the best bang for your buck method imo and still the method I recommend to my own nooby faction mates.If you have the extra money, just buy the best candy you can. I also had the highest OD rate in my faction at the time which is another reason I despised Happy Jumps. Now my faction has good OD protection perks and I only OD once every month, sometimes months (usually when I'm stacking for a chain or war).

Bottom line: Doing nothing but taking 3 xans daily as a noob is a terrible idea. The entire happiness metric exists mostly for noobs. Happiness hardly effects my stats gained (or not gained), but it makes a WORLD of difference for noobs.

No one's reading this thread, buddy. I'll leave you with this, then I'm outta ya hair until you decide to weirdly and obsessively bother me again: Elimination. Join it. See you there

Won't mean much to me outside of Elim honestly. Can't blame ya for skipping Elim tho. That's where the big boys go to play. You can stick to your termed ranked wars if you want, but Elim is a good change of pace.

(also you're welcome for the bumps)

You're the one obsessed with me. I don't even know who you are, but you keep bothering me.

Hope to see you in Elim next month. You can attack me all you want then ;) Looking at the polls, a lot of cowards are skipping it this year. Hope you aren't one of them.

Players and staff on this game are such snowflakes. Good luck in life. NGMI. Real world will eat you alive if you can't handle a lil trash talk on a video game.

Staff Edit - Discrimination

If you can afford it, go for it. I just chose big choco boxes because they were the most cost-effective option at the time. A lot has changed since then. So whatever candy you can afford is the best option.

DECEMBER 2024 UPDATE: DUE TO CRIMES 2.0 The Bag of Candy Kisses COSTS THE SAME AS BBC AND GIVES 15 MORE HAPPY

This was an update I put into the guide last year. Seems you missed it somehow. Thankfully you ended up with the same result either way lol.

while your energy is full, yes.

The Choco Jump is pretty simple, and it's also something you can do on a daily basis if you time it right.

• Make sure to fill up your Natural Energy
• Pop a Xan like the trap lord you are
• Wait for drug cooldown to end..travel, race, trade, or if you're dumb like me, waste all of your money shooting yourself in Russian Footlette :D
• Consume x48 Bags of Candy Kisses you fatty >:)
• Pop an ecstasy pill, put on your seat-belt and get ready for the ride O~O
• Train.. wrestling drag queens or whatever it is that you do
• Use point refill and wrestle them some more you whore >:)
• Experience true noob gainzzz

If you just read the highlighted text it tells you everything you need to know. 

Natural Energy > Xan > Wait for drug cooldown > Consume x48 Bags of Candy Kisses > ecstasy > Train > point refill

You must've meant Bag of Candy Kisses since those are 15 more happy. But I mentioned that in the guide. If you meant Bag of Bloody Eyeballs, neither statement is true. Though they're a great option if you can afford them.