A woman is walking home with her three daughters- Rose, Lily, and Cinderblock. Rose asks her mother, “Mom, why did you name me Rose?” To which her mother replies, “Well sweetie when we were coming home from the hospital with you a rose fell on your head!” Lily, curious now, asks her mother “Mom, why did you name me after a flower too?” To which her mother replies, “Well sweetie when we were coming home from the hospital with you a lily fell on your head!” Cinderblock says to her mother, “hghghdnbgh!!? dnbgh!??!”
An old religious woman goes to a pet store to buy a parrot. Everything is fine until she brings it home. It begins to swear uncontrollably. F this, F that, F you and finally the lady can stand it no more. She grabs the bird, shoves it in the freezer, and slams the door shut. Squawking, shrieking, pounding, and cursing come out of the freezer for a few moments and then it goes quiet.
The woman is scared that she has hurt the bird and opens the freezer. The parrot walks calmly out and steps gently onto the woman's outstretched hand. He looks into the lady's eyes and says "Ma'am, I am truly sorry if my language offended you and it will not recur. If I may ask, what did the chicken do?"
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
welcome! please have a look at my price sheet and set a trade then pm me! I'm online most of the time from 0000 TCT to 1500TCT My price sheet here Jokes
An old religious woman goes to a pet store to buy a parrot. Everything is fine until she brings it home. It begins to swear uncontrollably. F this, F that, F you and finally the lady can stand it no more. She grabs the bird, shoves it in the freezer, and slams the door shut. Squawking, shrieking, pounding, and cursing come out of the freezer for a few moments and then it goes quiet.
The woman is scared that she has hurt the bird and opens the freezer. The parrot walks calmly out and steps gently onto the woman's outstretched hand. He looks into the lady's eyes and says "Ma'am, I am truly sorry if my language offended you and it will not recur. If I may ask, what did the chicken do?"