Offertory: forum

Nawww, I love you guys. 

I am one of Torn's most successful traders, with over 9.6k happy trades done.

Price List can be found here.

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Romans 12:19
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of Ched, for it is written, “Luckbar is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

Greetings fellow churchgoers,

I come to you today bearing the ultimate gift of gratitude and sacrament. Hear me, for I am ashamed! For too long, I have thought solely of myself, mugging, donating and praying for my own selfish benefit. Woe! Too long have I benefitted from the LuckBar we hold so dearly in our hearts. Endless riches befell me, but I was blind. I was blind to the true nature of Torn; to give and to be gracious in our giving.

I offer myself to you as a conduit of Ched's blessing. With my advanced experience with Torn's LuckBar (Artifact 1, 2) I now shake off the poison of self-focus and instead focus on you and your begging souls. No longer shall I pray 20 times daily for the sake of my own LuckBar. Nay! True luck is found in the LuckBars of others.

Current Tools of Redemption for Sale:

Current Church Services on Offer:

Option 1 - Have your prayers heard:
As the most experienced prayer in Torn, Ched's ear bends to listen, and I bend to serve you, blessed one.

Simple Prayer - 1 Prayer on your behalf
I whisper into the halls of Torn, and the echoes smile back. Send a message with your payment to ensure I channel the true message.
Cost: Can of Damp Valley or $1,300,000

LuckBar Deluxe Prayer - 4 prayers on your behalf
I grasp the hands of Torn and stare into the eyes of beyond, a light flickers in your soul. Send a detailed message with your payment to ensure all aspects of the LuckBar are activated.
Cost: Can of Red Cow or $2,600,000

Catalyst Extreme Ultimate Prayer - 6 Prayers on your behalf!
I yell into the void and the void answers. Shiver in awe as your LuckBar overflows. Send a detailed message with your payment, they will be etched into the walls of time.
Cost: Can of X-MASS or $4,000,000

Option 2 - Give back to our giver:
As the foremost donator in Torn, I know the true power of donating 10-15% on behalf of others. I now offer you the same true blessing without the hassle of being mugged. Give and you will receive.

Donations to the LuckBar
Send me any amount with a detailed message outlining your sins and repentance. I shall donate on your behalf and pray once for your forgiveness.
Cost: 10% of the donated amount. Minimum donation $1,000,000

Disclaimer. Any users expressing negatively in this thread will be held accountable. Strikes will be made against your permanent records. No exceptions (*unless you pray or donate for forgiveness)

Edit 1. Prices are altered due to item price changes.

IF I HAVE TRADED WITH YOU, PLEASE CONSIDER ADDING MY FRIEND BADGE

It is a pretty pathetic state of being, begging a faction you have nothing to do with to raid you in the hopes of achieving a merit for your poorly written article that hadn't been published for 2 months. After dropping bombs on a faction you had nothing to do with, in order to achieve some notoriety and 2 merits, after 18 years. However,  these are the types of desperate attempts required by the top 1% to try and make something out of this game. 

We don't blame The Covanent for what they did; heck, we get it, and we celebrate their effort. It's about as much action as a faction can hope for in an online casino disguised as a crime game, with no real engagement beyond cookie-cutter buttons and a nudist flight simulator. 

Torn is a dead game. Most of you are to blame, too, thanks to your complacency with mediocrity and lack of any real competitive motivation... beyond making the number go up!  You have all accepted a Farmville experience, and some pay Ched handsomely to never actually achieve anything in this game. 

As for me, I barely play this game, yet somehow everyone runs the forums crying week after week because they were mugged or got paid $25,000 for 25 energy, or perhaps not paid at all, before they log off forever, as 95% of the player base do before level 15. I am happy to be the scapegoat for your otherwise lacklustre experiences in this game, as you watch us have fun from the sidelines.

In the brief moments I am active in this game, I encourage members of SHAT to play the game beyond the gym and travel page. I interact with players, I mug, I bounty, and occasionally don't pay for losses. Somehow, after all that, I am the 10th biggest bad guy in Torn. All because you are too boring to become the bad guy yourself. Its dissapointing and leaves this game void of any culture or feeling. 

There are no real wars, no real drama.

It's sad that the biggest reason to dirty bomb someone, and then beg for more money, even though you're the top 1%, is because of a 14m mug. But again, good on them for actually doing ANYTHING in this game.

Take territory wars for example. For the last 215 Territory Wars, 184 had no relevant attacks suggesting effort. Only 12 had any back and forth, and only 3 resulted in the territory being won via fighting. The map is a stale setting to collect the shitty first aid kit you found and nothing more. Not even the gargantuan alliances make any effort to push this game further. They sit and collect rackets and do nothing with them. Crypto, WW, NS etc tried once and gave up, realising this game offers them nothing for making an effort. Don't expect the game to give you value, because this game is empty. Find value for yourself.

Ranked Wars are equally disappointing, with 80% of wars being termed every week since their inception. You have all resigned to accept indifference and purposelessness as your primary Torn experience. Why play this game if you aren't actually going to play this game?

I encourage you all to play the game beyond the gym, casino and travel page.

Pick a fight you can win and talk shit afterwards.

Pick a fight that you will lose and talk shit afterwards.

Bounty someone.

Raid a faction.

Assault a territory.

Scam someone.

Steal a vault.

Do anything.

Just stop putting up with the monotonous bullshit of doing sweet fuck all in this game and expecting it to be more exciting. 

Finally, bogie, when you read this, try to comprehend that you are one of the biggest pieces of shit in this game. Your moderation is driven by your fragile ego, and you fail to take any responsibility for the damage you do to this game. You can't take feedback and respond emotionally rather than logically when enforcing rules or engaging with players, and worst of all, you constantly gaslight the community you are meant to support. Shame on you. 

WHAT DO WE OFFER YOU?
[image: yata.yt]

CRIMINALITY

TOLERATION

VORACITY

STEADFAST

EXCURSION

The armoury has the standard beer, meds and candy for use at all times.

We will RW every week or two where we provide meds for medding out, xanax for stacking and RW weapons to maximise respect gains and the majority of payout being distributed to hitters.
You pay nothing, but make millions!

ENDORSEMENTS FOR OUR MEMBERS

20:16:09 - 13/02/25 MrRightSA mugged GushingLinks (+320.00) [view]

21:54:27 - 13/02/25 Eargesplitten attacked Lukas11084 (+640.00) [view]

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Yes, just not by me.

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SHAT is recruiting eager, excited, active players to come join us for our...err..

Annual Halloween 17,852 Hit Chaining Event!

If you want to be part of a HoS faction with:

• an endless list of enemies to help your weapon exp 

•  

  a loaded armoury of med kits, mostly small.

•  

  a chance to get dirty bombed

Now is the time to reach out to our leadership to inquire about placement. 

SPOTS ARE LIMITED, so show your enthusiasm now!  

There are numerous merits to be had in association with this event such as using 25,000 med kits. A good opportunity to check some off. 

Bump

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Your factions are dog shit, so who cares?

Ban every external paid service.

Haha

THIS IS AN OPEN INVITE FOR FARCOUGH OR ANY OTHER CURRENT MEMBERS OF THE DRUNK TANK WHO ARE FED UP WITH THEIR SHITTY LEADERSHIP TO JOIN SHAT

We don't care for threats, and we also have fun. However, I am sure Farcough is good in TNL.

NO BALLS IF YOU DON'T DROP IT ON THE 5K FACTION THEY MAKE BEFORE HALLOWEEN

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YES

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