Ughhh check it, I was Born in Torn and I must admit, My city likes porn it gets us rich! Everyone got sores all on they lips! Lord of Whores n all of em sick! My General got cells in his basement! Survivors only tell IF they make it! Never seen police or for that fact bacon, Professional scum ain't gots ta fake it! Is that a Xanax? Find out n take it! Might get left? For goodness sakes kid! Torns got church but we forsake it! Ughhh my girl owe duke cash, He said no she can't pay with ass, I said no she can't take ma grass, Porsche 911 can't make it crash! And I'm the worst they is, Od on drugs n it hurt my biz, Thank god torn city ain't takin kids, Gamble or hustle we making chips, Left my wife for a guy man I hate that bitch! Stock market? Wtf is this? Dirty needles all over kinda place is this? Torn City! Best place on earth! Las Vegas?bitch Please this is worse. Torn city! full a hoes n mercs! We all got jobs but nobody works! Ughhh triple Platinum. 3xanax a day records! North side!
Picture if you will your very first memory of this city we know as Torn. What is it that first comes to mind? We must all remember what it felt like to arrive for the first time ever in torn. Now from the comfort of my private island allow me Whorelord aka warlord to bring you back and share with you how I first met Torn City. Come criminal hommies and see torn through my eyes.
The year is unimportant (and unremembered) and the airplane I currently sit in smells slightly of burning rubber and Alot like shame and vomit. Minutes ago the pilot informed us in between hiccups that we would be landing in Torn City within the Half hour. "Please remain seated, shut that fckn baby up, and Tracy where THE HELL is my Booze God danmit!" I recall a chuckle after his announcement.
Torn City was a place that untill 16 hours earlier I'd never heard of in my life and I had taken a flight into Torn simply because I'd overheard a conversation between prison guards during my release 16 hours prior hearing only the name Torn City the mention of infinite criminals mafias gangs cults and something about Xanax falling from the sky and that insurance fraud and armed robbery were basically the city's official sports and I didn't need to hear any more.
So there I was. The old best up airplane touched down in Torn and out the window I notice before anything else that columns of different shades of smoke rise from multiple locations in the city and I wonder to myself if factories or the like are responsible. Ten minutes after landing I stand in Torn City's Airport trying and failing to locate any staff member I can ask advice on where to stay in Torn City at a good price. I doubt dear reader it will surprise you to know I never found such an employee.
Come to think of it I was never sent through a security checkpoint and no one ever greeted those whom had arrived off the plane. Not even a police officer in sight. Confused but unconcerned I made my way through the terminal towards the streets of Torn.
Outside while attempting to hail cab after cab I noticed in my observations a homeless man holding a cardboard sign above his head that read "Beat my ass, plz I need cash!" And must have seen more than 200 bouquets of flowers get exchanged before a taxi finally came to my aid.... Then sped away just before I could open the door. "A$$#@le" I muttered under my breath.
In the end I scored a ride with a local Torn Hoodlum who introduced herself as stabby da baddy. She turned out to be completely normal and told me all kinds of cool things about torn city. She told me if I wanted I could kill any animal within city limits legally maybe. She also told me I shouldn't leave Torn City untill I had tried to chain which she explained as some kinda... Gang affiliated serial murder? Which I assumed I had heard wrong.
Besides witnessing two street races and a massive pile of tires burning in the middle of one of Torns streets stabby got me to her recommended accomodations without incident or fuss. I tipped her and got out of her car throwing a thank you over my shoulder before she peeled off.
My immediate observation of my surrounding area convinced me of two glaring truths. One stabby the baddy had totally played me and two this area of the city was as far as I could see completely and utterly abandoned. I heard no traffic saw no people and realized I couldn't see a single electric light anywhere.
Lucky for me I could still see the tire fire smoke and knew I had seen storefronts and people in the area around said fire so to the tire fire I headed. Out of boredom I began counting gunshots from far away on my walk to the tire fire and had reached 156 when out of nowhere a smelly little street urchin collided with me and thought you pick pocket my wallet unaware of my training allowing me to grab and hold her lightning fast.
She squirmed and fought but I snatched my wallet away from the dirty girl anyway while she swore up and down that I didn't wanna offend her faction and that she was starving and only wanted food and if I let her go she won't get me killed which only made me laugh but decided to just let her go.
It must of only been five or ten minutes later that I suddenly found myself surrounded by vehicles and forced to a stop within the lot of them. For what seemed like forever the engines just revved and no one left their vehicles.
Suddenly I was saved as the first torn city police car I'd seen all day turned a corner headed directly for me and these hoodlums. I was so relieved and relaxed my shoulders then became horrified when my salvation the police cruiser out of nowhere Burst into a ball of flame for who knows why!
Still stunned I watched as car after car emptied of people very obviously mad about something. "We're Torn SlumHound Sickos and you must be the guy pipsqueak lilly was talking about." Said the obvious leader of the group of dirty kids that had more holes in thier clothes then machine gun victims. I only shrugged.
"Tell ya what" the leader said "how about you toss me your wallet and I promise that I'll sick my five dogs on you at once so it'll be quick."
I began immediately to plan how to attack but was spared the effort when nearby windows exploded and flashed with gunfire turning out to be aimed at Torn SlumHound whatever they were and forced those who still lived to dive into their cars and vanish into silence.
From somewhere someone screamed "TC Syndicate mucka luckas!!" Before letting off a few more rounds. I looted the corpses and walked away with two pistols 100000 in cash and found Xanax on each and every body I checked.
Finally drawing close to the tire fire I saw a sign for an inn that said vacant and decided I would ignore the throng of hookers at the inns entrance and come back for one AFTER securing a room in which to stay...
That first night in bed with two ugly hookers my hotel room door flew open waking me up immediately and before I could react in anyway I was tied behind the back and blinded by some kinda breathable bag.. I tried to listen for any clue as to what was happening but all I heard was that I guess some one named Duke paid good money to track down an outsider and that if I couldn't help this Duke guy that Duke never gets bored of making skinsuits......
Right? Oldest question in the playboy magazine I know but hear me out (or dont waste your time on me id understand if you just skipped to the insult and harassment phase of your forum modus operandi) but seriously how come everytime i froze on the corner offin bags do Mrs. Jones gotta call the cops on me? She know im on parole why she call POlice ona Ginjja?
Serious part of my question here: Is it not possible to get as good at selling cocaine as i am at other crimes. When i hack the FBI i get busted maybe 1 out of every 200 busts. Give or take. When i steal chocolate bars so those kids on my street wont play Futball with my head later i get Chased out the store maybe 1 outta 100 times and NEVER get unlucky or dumb enough to still be there when pigs show up. Like i try to get busted sometimes and it dont happen. And USUALLY while selling cocaine will get the Blue outcome and chased off but i get busted selling cocaine like… five times more then ive been busted IRL.
what gives? Are the good ole days where Ginjas could off packs outside all day with no fear of repruccusions over? Or (most likely reason) Is it just me? Its because im the absolute worst torn citizen there is huh? Even some deserters got me beat lol. I suck. But i also can sell cocaine like a MF so this game got me all wrong.
Thank you for your time im all the way retarded but i am not sorry. I seriously wish to know if i can get better at this or not??? Ima keep slangin either way tho. Which reminds me!
You uhh… you finna cop some cocaine?? At my crib got a open face coke buffet!! I got that white girl like in the 80’s that marsha brady!
Its been an Honor Chilling in torn with yall Tornies seriously every day is like somehow realizing that somehow i be all the way up ER over n over again like… might better be paradise but let me please take just a moment of your time (which ill most likely waste) by saying and reminding everyone of that one time
WHEN I WAS DUBBED THE LORD OF WHORES AND WON THE MISTER WHOREMERICA CAGE MATCH CONTEST???? OH EM GE what about when i was all I WANNA THANK GOD AND ALSO then i threw up and sneezed like fifty times and a whole xanax was sneezed out my nose on stage as i was accepting my Coupon for that free Shower thing everyone said was Golden!! Man i was excited for that.
I never got to say thank you to all you friendly stick up kids and assassins and pricks and Brillo Pads and i figured now was the the perfect time to say i never got to thank you guys because I would Never Watermelon Thank You Guys!! I mean seriously ive had some DICK neighbors in my day. One guy even was havin an affair with my dog while my cat sold us both steroids. But You Guys take the cake. NOWHERE in the whole world can you find more people per capita carrying illeagal drugs weapons n porn n all kinda shady shenanigans then right here in our very own torn city.
Whats Insane is SOME of yall Melon Farmers were BORN here in torn. Then i think if I was born at this Hospital what would EYE be like??? The answer is Dead. I would be Dead. ALTHOUGH i will say Torn sets a fine example by being the worlds first n hopefully not last hospital to implement Rigourous And oft times Mandatory Happy Endings. I tell my Family to stay away from torn unless they are in a hurry to wake up naked and afraid in a random ally if your lucky covered in hopefully ectoplasm and missing three kidneys and a few teeth. Also having teeth that you DIDNT have before… I mean if thats your thing Torns for You.
Back to the Important thing here tho. Nowhere in these gross city streets riddled with gangs and cute wittle stuffed animals is there anyone even comin CLOSE to being as useless a Whore as I Am. Whorelord151. (My actual Govt name) my momma always said when she ripped me out she took one look at me n spit in my mouth cuz i was gonna need to get use to Hooker spit. Beautiful Birds that they are. But yeah i wanna really not thank the hell outta yall cuz IF I THANKED YOU LIKE I WANNA I KNOW that youd all see i enjoy all your effort in ruining my life in torn which is literally impossible because i have no life in torn or in my real life In Skyrim….Believe it or not Absolute High Class White Trash Whores like yours truly shouldnt be left alone around or trusted with anything at all possessing a life of its own. Being the Whore that i am im used to bringing out the worst in people however in torn ive not brought out anyones worse mostly due to the fact that 99.69% of torn Residents ONLY have a Worse side.
Torn Gangs or cults or posses or whatever they call themselves DAILY be out here hittin ppls grandmas with hockey sticks sometimes even thier own grandmas and will kick you in your that sucked spot every single available oppertunity. Then will pay your wife to do the same and shell do it cuz that Lady From torn and will do anything for half a xan or a fckn lollipop.
Seriously i dont know what id do without you all. Constantly competing with eachother over who can Hurt the Whore more are without you guys forgetting whos basement you left me tied up in for however long that two times it happened was. Id be lost. You may be the absolute worst of the worse worse guys thatree worseerer then anyone ever was ever was But Im here to tell you all that no doubt
no doubt whatsoever if your reading this then your STILL not a lost cause cuz you aint As hopless as me!! So chin up?? And 20$ for a Circus tonight you foul Tornzistanian. Well shucks… for you?? Gimme some used T shirts and a Rusty Macana (the weapon not the Whore move i do with that thing over the griddle with the vasaline and some chickens) and ill Rock your world Babe… or Gabe…. Or.. whatever you is.
Im to dumb for reverse anything. Fattylumpkin my mommas dead as f**k but THANK YOU ANYWAY! Your too kind. Bumfluff THIS is my ONLY account. I feel no need to cheat at a game im TRYING to suck at so… When i think something is stupid i just skip it. Maybe try it sometime? But i wrote this and own it and have no problem being all the way retarded so.. ya welcome!! Still wonder what i was tryna reverse psycholgize. I could care less about any thing yall do but i still support your choice maybe.
Once again I whorelord hope that this is the correct place for this post im currently working on and about to post! For quite a while now ive strove not to be the best nor the most loved and not even for being voted “most likely to die due to smoke inhalation from torn citys Eternal Tire Fire!”. No my friends (all three of you) none of those but I strive for something far far greater! To my Foes (Sooo Many) Id just like to say “you were right. I suck you rock and im never gonna be nothin but a Filthy Prositute. I know this now and Im sorry I argued with yall!!
Thank you everyone for disliking my posts and i beg of you to continue to do so! I have 109 posts and 0 likes. Thats ZERO likes!!! somewhere a crowd goes wild
I couldnt have done it without me. Oh and Keyz cant forget my main man Keyz!! But seriously I bet youve never seen such a pointless and useless post.
To me however (whorelord151) today is a day for celebration! Im planning on discovering a way i can find out the name of ALL who disliked my post and sending yall some bubbly a condom and deff a xanax n probably some otha drugs too!!
Torn description said i can be whoever i wanna and i wanna be cocaine kingpin lol im gonna cry when we HAVE to switch to crime 2.0 unless they have added a sell cocaine crime button by then.
Ohhhhhhh that … thank you damn. Yeah i really wanna move to 2.0 but im hung up on the fact that theres no sells drugs crime in 2.0 and im tryna sell drugs. The second the add drug crimes youll see me over in 2.0 lol im stupid i know.
Rules are rules i dont disagree with her penalty but she is still one of my best friends and always will be sucks to see gingielocks go out this way but also good that the rules are enforced. And i see the words multi and doxxed everywhere what do they mean? If multis means ppl with multiple accounts then screw multis. You should have one and only one account and be who you are and thug it out no matter the situation not cheat to attain false victory there is no honor in thst. I hope i never get fedded cuz i got nowhere to live other then torn. But i really cant see me ever breaking any of the rules other then swearing i try hard not to but… shyyyt.
Idc what anyone says Gingielocks was and is my best friend. She got what she wanted i guess tho. Its none of my business at all even though oya vandalized my PI for over a week i dont even care i sent him a rose n all that.
Im here for the mandatory happy endings the bob the nurse forces upon me everytime im ready to leave the hospital. And to Whore i mean im never not on the whore clock. 20 bucks is 20 bucks ya know?
Last year the sinaloa cartel made 150 Billion dollars from LEGAL sales if Avacados. The grossest thing ever besides your moms bath water. They push the best stuff in the world and the nastiest thing in the world. say what you will but dont knock the hustle.
TWICEMONKEY you almost right. I got the biggest nose youve EVER seen. I aint smokin it 🫠
Right? Oldest question in the playboy magazine I know but hear me out (or dont waste your time on me id understand if you just skipped to the insult and harassment phase of your forum modus operandi) but seriously how come everytime i froze on the corner offin bags do Mrs. Jones gotta call the cops on me? She know im on parole why she call POlice ona Ginjja?
Serious part of my question here: Is it not possible to get as good at selling cocaine as i am at other crimes. When i hack the FBI i get busted maybe 1 out of every 200 busts. Give or take. When i steal chocolate bars so those kids on my street wont play Futball with my head later i get Chased out the store maybe 1 outta 100 times and NEVER get unlucky or dumb enough to still be there when pigs show up. Like i try to get busted sometimes and it dont happen. And USUALLY while selling cocaine will get the Blue outcome and chased off but i get busted selling cocaine like… five times more then ive been busted IRL.
what gives? Are the good ole days where Ginjas could off packs outside all day with no fear of repruccusions over? Or (most likely reason) Is it just me? Its because im the absolute worst torn citizen there is huh? Even some deserters got me beat lol. I suck. But i also can sell cocaine like a MF so this game got me all wrong.
Thank you for your time im all the way retarded but i am not sorry. I seriously wish to know if i can get better at this or not??? Ima keep slangin either way tho. Which reminds me!
You uhh… you finna cop some cocaine?? At my crib got a open face coke buffet!! I got that white girl like in the 80’s that marsha brady!