Skip to content
TORNLIFE More

SlimGoodbody: forum

SlimGoodbody [2676196] Level 55 Torn Medical NUKE Premium Reviver

Forum posts (Torn's count)
649 observed
Archived posts
642
Threads started (archived)
48

Boards

From the 642 newest archived posts.

Threads started

Most-liked posts

Likes as archived at fetch time, adjusted for how long each post had been up. Scored posts only; the full score pass runs after the import.

Stock Market is still insanely broken · · 68 likes

Godspeed with this thread. Godspeed.

(More salient question - why isn't anyone telling ME how to do it?!)

You Should Have Known · · 56 likes

There's quite a lot of late-game player elitism in Torn. (Ooo, hot take right off the rip! Let's see how this works out for him...) Whenever someone makes a mistake here and posts about it (which is the real crime), invariably the threads are filled with old players with networths in the hundreds of billions laughing "YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN N00B!!"

Well how exactly should we have known? These players "know" because they've been reading the forums and following drama for years! You don't know because you haven't experienced it yet. There are lots of scenarios that come up within gameplay that aren't covered in the official wiki. If they're in player guides and forum posts, good luck digging through the forums for 'em. Maybe you get a nugget of info here and there, but I don't think there's any central repository for this type of info.

This is a real tough subject to broach IMO because no matter how you slice it, it's a salty topic. "You should have known" indicates that someone has already been burned AND they have had their intelligence insulted for not realizing it ahead of time. So I apologize in advance for any 'tude. I'm just not a very friendly person, I guess. :

So how 'bout we put together a "YSHK" database of instances, unspoken rules, etc. for newer players (or at very least non-lifers) to consult whenever something weird/bad happens to them.

You Should Have Known:
  • YSHK: Don't complain in public when you're mugged or bountied. People will just pile on regardless of the "facts" or situation.
  • YSHK: If someone messages you out of the blue and asks you to do something, 9 times out of 10, don't do it. (Like, "hey, we're having fun putting some bounties on this person. I'll pay you to place some for me.")
  • YSHK not to put a bunch of money into stones, eggs, etc even though a trusted admin said it was okay. It was a bug. Now you're screwed. (Bogie reimbursed everyone, so that was super cool of him.)
  • YSHK: Don't sell a very expensive item on the market publicly. People have (legal) scripts setup to alert them when these items hit the market and can instantly (within 4 seconds) have you mugged. So either factor that into your price, or find a private buyer.
  • YSHK: People DO use scripts. They're the mega-rich players, and for them, it's okay. "You see, it's okay because it only makes 1 API call, so..."
  • YSHK: Some kinds of scams are actually allowed to a certain extent within the confines of the game itself.
  • YSHK not to click accept in a trade without money/the item appearing on the other side of the trade.
  • YSHK that there is usually no recourse to recover what you lost in a bad deal.
  • YSHK not to make a thread like this because you'll come across as a whiner even though you're trying to help
  • YSHK putting a large amount of cash in your faction's bank is actually a bad idea because you lose personal control of it.
  • YSHK not to step away from your PC/phone when you land in a foreign city
  • YSHK your cellphone has the ability to make multiple transactions all under a second regardless of your signal strength, age of phone, operating system, or Torn server issues. Any screw up on a cellphone is YOUR fault according to the people who own the latest $17,000 cellphones with G27 networks in densely-populated cities.
  • YSHK you are capable of making all necessary transactions within 5 seconds anywhere at anytime (see cellphone example above). Any more than that, and you are ACTIVELY INVITING someone to attack/mug you.
  • Building on that last point, YSHK to have multiple tabs open to make any transaction in the game.
  • YSHK sellmugging is a thing, too. (Or maybe it's just the other side of the coin of buymugging.) People can and will mug you when you are the buyer, too. So whenever you buy something, make sure you have only the exact amount necessary to buy said things, even though the markets are volatile and items get bought within seconds.
Any other things "you should have known" about?

Self Deprecation Bonus: Bottle of Beer goes to the best personal insults flung in my general direction up to and including insightful memes such as "where did the mean game touch you" or anything referring to salt or crying infants. :)

Simpsons Bonus: Yes, I do indeed hate pants.

Mugging public apologies thread · · 38 likes

Wait a second. A level 92 player was so butt hurt over losing $40k and 30 minutes that they started going through the forums and downvoted your posts?

[image: media.giphy.com]

NAS-T-CAR Racing Series! That's it for July! · · 21 likes

[image: i.imgur.com]
How 'bout a monthly racing series for all the classes where folks can win some game cash?
Introducing: NAS-T-CAR! =)

The first full week of every month, I invite you to join this NAS-T-CAR racing series! I'll be holding a race for each class throughout the week, E through A.

These races are open to the first 100 people to join. 100 laps on the ol' Torn Speedway! NASCAR style!

It's free to join, and the top 10 racers will receive cash prizes!

All races are held at 0:01 TCT. I'll open the race 2-3 hours early so people can park 'n go.

You can join all or any of the races you want! And bring your modded cars!

Here is the schedule of events for the next races: JULY!

Mon 7/5: E-Class
Tue 7/6: D-Class
Wed 7/7: C-Class
Thu 7/8: B-Class
Fri 7/9: A-Class (yep, I hit A class!)

Here are the base/minimum payouts for each race. If I place, hey, I saved a little money! ;)

[image: imgur.com]
If you land in one of the paying spots, you can expect delivery of payment within 24 hours unless otherwise noted.
Check out the replies below for info on each race and their current payouts!

DONATIONS: If you'd like to help make the monthly NAS-T-CAR race series a more exciting event, you can donate to sweeten the pot! 100% of the money you donate will go to the prize brackets. You can donate either to a particular class or to the whole series. Or shoot, if you want the person who gets 6th place in the C race to win $4,523,000, we can do that, too! We're going to keep it at top 10, though, because as much as I love doing this, it does take up a wee bit o' time.

When making a donation, please do it through a trade so we can keep it secure. Remember, it ain't safe out there! ;)

TIPS: Never mandatory, always appreciated. =)

HELP: Man, anything you wanna pitch in, by all means. I just threw some fun little starter graphics together to give it a little character. Don't want to get too crazy with it. Definitely need help spreading the word. Let's fill all of these races out!

Shoot me a message with any question or anything I may have forgotten to mention. Oh, any crashes get a free first aid kit! ;)

NAS-T-CAR Racing Series - That's it for August! · · 17 likes

Look at the cool logo majin-bUU made!! :D


[image: imgur.com]
[image: imgur.com]

[background color=var(--bbc-body-bg-color)]It's time for the monthly NAS-T-CAR midnight racing series! August '21 Series![/background]





The first full week of every month, I invite you to join this NAS-T-CAR racing series! I'll be holding a race for each class throughout the week, E through A.
  • Free to join (max 100 racers)
  • 100 laps on the ol' Torn Speedway - NASCAR style!
  • Modded cars
  • You can join any/all races
All races are held at 0:01 TCT.

Tue 8/3: E-Class
Wed 8/4: D-Class
Thu 8/5: C-Class
Fri 8/6: B-Class
Sat 8/7: A-Class

Here are the base/minimum payouts for each race. Check the posts below for the current payouts for each class. You never know - some really cool folks might donate some cash to make these payouts even sweeter! :D
[image: imgur.com]

If you land in one of the paying spots, you can expect delivery of payment within 24 hours unless otherwise noted.
And if I place, then by golly I just saved myself some cash. :P

DONATIONS: If you'd like to help make the monthly NAS-T-CAR race series a more exciting event, you can donate to sweeten the pot! 100% of the money you donate will go to the prize brackets. You can donate either to a particular class or to the whole series. Or shoot, if you want the person who gets 6th place in the C race to win $4,523,000, we can do that, too! We're going to keep it at top 10, though, because as much as I love doing this, it does take up a wee bit o' time.

TIPS: Never mandatory, always appreciated. =)

HELP: Man, anything you wanna pitch in, by all means. I just threw some fun little starter graphics together to give it a little character. Don't want to get too crazy with it. Definitely need help spreading the word. Let's fill all of these races out!

Shoot me a message with any question or anything I may have forgotten to mention. Oh, any crashes get a free first aid kit! ;)

Recent archived posts

It's a crime game. · · 1 like

STOP AI SLOP ON TORN! ·

And you replied, anon.

 

Thanks for the mild annoyance. :)

STOP AI SLOP ON TORN! · · 1 like

Literally the same. Literally.

 

Energy usage before synthesizers = 0

Energy usage after synthesizers = More than 0

Increase = +10,000%

 

Checkmate. Sorry, gramps. 

 

Edit: more like brain the size of a piccolo amirite?

Edit2: I love how everything is an insult, too, like it's 2004 around here. "No, STOOPID! It's like this, IDIOT!!" :P

STOP AI SLOP ON TORN! · · 1 like

Oh I almost forgot!

 

STOP AI SLOP ON TORN! · · 2 likes

"Man I hate all this 'music' coming out of these synthesizer things! It's all fake! They use electricity, you gotta build power plants for them, use toxic batteries to power them, ruin the environment... And it takes jobs away from real musicians! Imagine being able to have a brass section without having to hire any trumpeters! The world is gonna end! I hate synthesizer slop!!!!" - Probably your grandpa in 1975. 

 

"Man I hate calculators! Think you're gonna always have a calculator in your pocket when you need to add? Ha!"

 

Repeat, repeat, repeat. 

Torn is dead, and you are all to blame. · · 1 like

Who the f**k nuke the shit out of me like its WW2! · · 1 like

Most worthless use of a Dirty Bomb in history? · · 1 like

LET THE PEOPLE F**K · · 1 like

02:25:07 - 29/01/26 You sent a Bottle of Wicked Witch to Cheesus with the message: After all this time, I believe you're the first person to ever answer. :)

LET THE PEOPLE F**K ·

[image: i.imgur.com]

I hate Gay, a thread · · 1 like

Oh so you mean I just made all of that up?!?!?! Chill dude 🤣 

I hate Gay, a thread · · 2 likes

You know? When she was asked to be a part of Torn, Gay was super excited. She dolled herself up for that picture, and you can see the excitement in her face. It was a great day. Everyone went out for kale and avocado toast afterwards. She even sang a few of her hastily written songs.

Now imagine she sees a heartless thread like this. I'd be willing to bet points for Xanax that you just made her feel horrible about herself. So way to go, gang. You took an effervescent, energetic woman just happy to be here and smashed her self esteem against the hard, worn rocks of your massive egos. She's home crying right now. Probably looks crazy while doing it... But still! You people picking on this kind woman are awful.

 

But more importantly:

Remember what they took away from you · · 1 like

RW CACHE MARKET MANIPULATION EXPOSED ·

Serious question since we're complaining about something super serious:

Revolt until staff make torn great again · · 1 like

[image: i.imgur.com]

Workers of Torn - you deserve more! ·

Question about spending job points on experience · · 1 like

Thank you, sir! :D

Question about spending job points on experience ·

How much experience do you get if you use a job's special for experience like at a clothing store or hair salon? And if you're level holding, do you still get that experience, or is it capped at your current level (like you wouldn't be allowed to get anymore experience if you're maxed out for the level you're currently at)?

 

My apologies if this has already been discussed to death, but I tried searching the topic and couldn't find any direct answers. If there's a resource on this subject, could you link me to it?

Rage against the revive machine · · 1 like

crime 2.0 dev time · · 1 like