It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral
HankyPanky: forum
HankyPanky [2733701] Level 40
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I know I'm only allowed one, but this is fun and I just had to!!
"Three stoners find a horse"
They go home with the horse and make it stay in the living room.
One of the friends pull out a bong and they all take hits until they're stoned.
While stoned they come up with an idea to have fun with the horse.
They attach a feeding muzzle onto the horse and funnel in smoke from the bong.
Eventually, they detach muzzle the horse and the horse's eyes get bloodshot, it is visibly high.
As a consequence, the horse starts talking:
"You have awakened me", the horse says.
The stoners, shocked, reply, "whoa, you can talk?" In unison.
The horse proceeds to tell them that they must jerk him off or die.
The first stoner says "nuh-uh, i aint like that", and the horse mauls him and chews his face, killing him slowly.
The second stoner tries to escape, screaming "Id rather die than jerk off a horse!"
The horse opens a safe, takes out a shotgun, and unloads a shell into the second stoner, making him slowly bleed out to death.
The third stoner, horrified, approaches the horse and fulfills the act until the horse is finished. The horse then spares the third stoner, and leaves him a diamond worth a great fortune.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should get off your high horse
"Three stoners find a horse"
They go home with the horse and make it stay in the living room.
One of the friends pull out a bong and they all take hits until they're stoned.
While stoned they come up with an idea to have fun with the horse.
They attach a feeding muzzle onto the horse and funnel in smoke from the bong.
Eventually, they detach muzzle the horse and the horse's eyes get bloodshot, it is visibly high.
As a consequence, the horse starts talking:
"You have awakened me", the horse says.
The stoners, shocked, reply, "whoa, you can talk?" In unison.
The horse proceeds to tell them that they must jerk him off or die.
The first stoner says "nuh-uh, i aint like that", and the horse mauls him and chews his face, killing him slowly.
The second stoner tries to escape, screaming "Id rather die than jerk off a horse!"
The horse opens a safe, takes out a shotgun, and unloads a shell into the second stoner, making him slowly bleed out to death.
The third stoner, horrified, approaches the horse and fulfills the act until the horse is finished. The horse then spares the third stoner, and leaves him a diamond worth a great fortune.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should get off your high horse
Today’s a big one for me—turning 40!
It’s a weird mix of emotions. On one hand, I’m incredibly grateful for the love of my amazing wife and two daughters, I'm healthy and generally happy. On the other hand, I feel that I’m not where I want to be career-wise or financially and It's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at the moment. (Some small feelings of inadequacy).
I know I’m not alone in this, and I bet a lot of you can relate. if you do feel the same, hang in there and know that you are beautiful, badass and enough. Just getting up, showing up and being there to face the challenges is enough.
So, I figured I’d turn to my fellow tornians for some birthday cheer!
No sob stories here—just me hitting a milestone, hoping for some descent comments, and maybe even a little of the "famous" Torn generosity (hey, it’s my birthday, after all).
TL;DR: I’m old, kinda sad, and need some stuff.
Cheers,
HankyPanky
A wife was cleaning 12-year-old son’s bedroom
When she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t f**king spank him.”
When she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t f**king spank him.”
- Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
- What's long, green, and smells like bacon? Kermit The Frog's fingers!
- "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
- What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
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Good luck irl, wish you all the best, dont think I'll ever quit, but then again, I'm not nearly as active as you. Just playing for the fun of it. :
Well, kinda. The message is real and the the birthday wishes are awesome, but I not going to say no to a birthday cupcake.
LOL Thanx bud :)
??????
Awesome, thanx all. Already more messages than I thought I was going to get :)
At least I havent started squeaking when getting out of bed yet :)
Today’s a big one for me—turning 40!
It’s a weird mix of emotions. On one hand, I’m incredibly grateful for the love of my amazing wife and two daughters, I'm healthy and generally happy. On the other hand, I feel that I’m not where I want to be career-wise or financially and It's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at the moment. (Some small feelings of inadequacy).
I know I’m not alone in this, and I bet a lot of you can relate. if you do feel the same, hang in there and know that you are beautiful, badass and enough. Just getting up, showing up and being there to face the challenges is enough.
So, I figured I’d turn to my fellow tornians for some birthday cheer!
No sob stories here—just me hitting a milestone, hoping for some descent comments, and maybe even a little of the "famous" Torn generosity (hey, it’s my birthday, after all).
TL;DR: I’m old, kinda sad, and need some stuff.
Cheers,
HankyPanky
![[image: i.ibb.co]](https://i.ibb.co/Mg1w7fX/f09d2d6d0b87.jpg){kind=link}
![[image: i.ibb.co]](https://i.ibb.co/1fZ3xhz/89d76a1c99da.jpg){kind=link}
Just me taking a CT bath!! :)[image: i.ibb.co]
![[image: i.ibb.co]](https://i.ibb.co/zPGRHvb/1f8ec7feadc6.jpg){kind=link}
Just did my part, put it to good use bud :)
One day, HANKYPANKY decided to dig through the dump in search of valuable items. He spent hours searching, wasting energy and finding nothing but trash. As he was about to give up, he stumbled upon an old, rusty can.
Excited, he opened the can, hoping to find something valuable inside. But instead, he found a note that read: "Congratulations, you've wasted 1000 e on this worthless can! Try again next time, maybe you'll get lucky!"
He was furious and decided to attack the Duke. But as he was weak AF he lost and realized he lost another 25e.
My take on Scamming :)[image: zenpromotions.net]
![[image: zenpromotions.net]](https://zenpromotions.net/hankypanky.jpeg){kind=link}
Awesome trader. Good prices, quick and efficient.
Nicely done, luv it. Best one for me was the slots references :)
We couldn't have done it without the chain watchers massive respect to all off you!! :)
Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
Whoop whoop, I won one of the weekly prizes. Makes trading with him even better :)
Awesome and quick service. My second trade done :)
My second trade so far still excellent. :)