Swathes of people waiting in queue on suicide prevention hotlines, booking appointments months away to try to get meds that only half keep us sane, being too afraid to switch to a new med on the off chance that the next one doesn't work half as well as the one you're already taking.
Everybody says "just ask for help" but the answer when we do is only an octave above silence. Sorry to be a bummer on here, but man am I tired... (there's no warning, or subtle threat to find here. Just honesty.)
What do we do? How can we ever hope to change it?
[I will probably delete this. Just really feeling the grind today]
[/background]The first few (if there are any lol) in this conga line are getting a small gift from me to celebrate, and I encourage everyone to spread the kindness and do some trading before we head into a fabulous weekend!
I'll have to try this whole "just [not] being a pussy" in the future. On a real note, I do agree with some of the things you're saying here even if it comes off hot headed and perhaps coldhearted -- Everyone does struggle. Exercise, hobbies, drinking water-- all very important. I could probably benefit from finding a new job (there's a lot of issues with ~just getting a new job~ but that's splitting hairs)
The main issue, I would say, is that not everyone suffering from mental health issues (which go way beyond just depression and anxiety, btw) has that "drive to be alive" you're talking about. For just one second, imagine that the drive dimmed for you. That instead of being like, "I want to keep going, because I deserve the best things" you instead start thinking things like "there's no way out of this", "there's not enough time in my life left to turn things around". Imagine that instead of that drive, you feel e x h a u s t e d no matter what. But its not just for a couple of days.. It's two or three days out of every. single. week. Then I think you can start to get a glimpse of what the hellscape of being mentally unwell might look like. If you can't even put yourself in that mindset, then you really can't possibly know. Life is hard. Winning an ongoing fight with your mind is harder.
I do appreciate the comment that an asshole with a piece of paper can't tell ya how to continue living. I will keep that in my utility set of affirmations. Be well!
Would you rather have a neighbor that's a serial killer but doesn't seem to notice you yet, or a neighbor that's harmless but sneaks into your house every night to eat your food and watch you sleep?
[/background]The first few (if there are any lol) in this conga line are getting a small gift from me to celebrate, and I encourage everyone to spread the kindness and do some trading before we head into a fabulous weekend!
I want to respond to this comment just for the "Torn forums are a bad place if you're looking for support", because to the contrary, I have received SO many supportive messages from people. There are people that suck, but there are also a lot of people that don't suck.
Back alleys and bar rooms are a "bad place" to look for support. On this internet forum, there are people out there that WILL commiserate with you. Even here in Torn City. <3
I have had luck with virtual counseling, however my wife and I both take generic Effexor. We were told (for our state) that there are rules against prescribing medications like Effexor virtually. We have to get in to see a physical doctor to get our prescriptions. They can refill them virtually after you've been seen physically. Not sure I fully understand it myself.
It's likely two things: the fact that you were Medicaid eligible AND where you're located.
My wife and I have blue cross blue shield, and the appointment I was finally able to book is in August. There are more people in my area looking for help than there are doctors to help them, I think. Most of the doctors listed as "accepting new patients" are not, and haven't been for months. It's just a really grueling process to get your foot in the door. And yet, it's still better than my home state where mental health access is just... a nice thought that gets laughed at and overlooked lol
:') I'm glad that you're still here. Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel... reassured to know that other people also have ongoing mountains and valleys and that getting back to the top gets easier with practice. Sometimes every slip back down feels like the ultimate failure.
Pal, it is super great that you have good confidence! I can bet that the confidence alone takes you a long way! Unfortunately, it's true -- not all of us have a great confidence level. Part of my mental illness actually make my confidence level fluctuate quite a bit -- sometimes I think I'm the best thing that's ever existed, the closest thing to God you could ever come in contact with-- and sometimes I know that I'm a garbage human being that means nothing and doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as another sentient creature.
Intelligence and confidence do not go hand in hand. There are actually intelligent and stupid people with confidence, and there are definitely intelligent people that doubt themselves every step of the way on the other end of the spectrum.
The comment "make something of yourself" REALLY bothers me and I feel like your last paragraph kind of unravels. You don't care about people talking shit about your job, because you "contributing to society"... And we should, too, right? But... when we say "let's support other people who are struggling" is that not contributing to society? Do you just mean we should monetarily make something of ourselves? Like. XD Idk this last paragraph you have is bewildering.
I appreciate this comment. It sounds positive XD That's just a reference to the commenter and Batman, right? XD XD I grew up in the Southwest US, so I have plenty of practice dealing with men that are rough and gruff and may "mean well" but just vomit words. XD It comes in handy when meeting with all types! lolol
I'll have to try this whole "just [not] being a pussy" in the future. On a real note, I do agree with some of the things you're saying here even if it comes off hot headed and perhaps coldhearted -- Everyone does struggle. Exercise, hobbies, drinking water-- all very important. I could probably benefit from finding a new job (there's a lot of issues with ~just getting a new job~ but that's splitting hairs)
The main issue, I would say, is that not everyone suffering from mental health issues (which go way beyond just depression and anxiety, btw) has that "drive to be alive" you're talking about. For just one second, imagine that the drive dimmed for you. That instead of being like, "I want to keep going, because I deserve the best things" you instead start thinking things like "there's no way out of this", "there's not enough time in my life left to turn things around". Imagine that instead of that drive, you feel e x h a u s t e d no matter what. But its not just for a couple of days.. It's two or three days out of every. single. week. Then I think you can start to get a glimpse of what the hellscape of being mentally unwell might look like. If you can't even put yourself in that mindset, then you really can't possibly know. Life is hard. Winning an ongoing fight with your mind is harder.
I do appreciate the comment that an asshole with a piece of paper can't tell ya how to continue living. I will keep that in my utility set of affirmations. Be well!
Swathes of people waiting in queue on suicide prevention hotlines, booking appointments months away to try to get meds that only half keep us sane, being too afraid to switch to a new med on the off chance that the next one doesn't work half as well as the one you're already taking.
Everybody says "just ask for help" but the answer when we do is only an octave above silence. Sorry to be a bummer on here, but man am I tired... (there's no warning, or subtle threat to find here. Just honesty.)
What do we do? How can we ever hope to change it?
[I will probably delete this. Just really feeling the grind today]
On a real note, I do agree with some of the things you're saying here even if it comes off hot headed and perhaps coldhearted -- Everyone does struggle. Exercise, hobbies, drinking water-- all very important. I could probably benefit from finding a new job (there's a lot of issues with ~just getting a new job~ but that's splitting hairs)