Dear Mr Gnomely,
It is with a sad heart that I have to send this letter of complaint to yourself.
In these trying financial times we all have to cut out unnecessary costs where we can.
Following the example of one of my neighbors, who recently had to give up his costly, but much beloved hawk (who he had raised from an egg) for a slightly belligerent local pigeon.
I have found myself unable to cover the costs of even the most basic of cosmetic purchases, which whilst more of a 'want' than a 'need' I do personally find essential for my mental wellbeing in such a cutthroat environment as Torn city.
I am always happier running from muggers when I am assured that I am looking good whilst I flee in terror.
The first three lollies I purchased from you, gave me the lucious magenta lip color I had been hoping for.
But that was when everything went wrong, and I am still so scarred by the incident in question, that my lawyer and therapist are in agreement that I do not talk about the events until legal proceedings are initiated.
After significant tests on your product, it turns out that the red pigment dye used, instead of the more usual carotenoid turned out to be instead something the scientists called Ferrori, this I have since learned is ground up metallic paint flakes from certain older red motor vehicles.
Do you know how much nickel they used to use in old car paint?
Were you aware that nickel is magnetic? Because let me assure you that it is!
Do you know how much of a problem magnetic lips can cause? Well, I do, and it's not pleasant. I think at least one hospital worker has since taken early retirement due to ongoing PTSD and trauma issues.
I cannot explain how much my quality of life has been affected by your substandard product.
My legal team will be in touch soon! I do not believe one such as yourself should ever be in a position to sell candy ever again, the idea that this situation could repeat with children... well it just chills my eyeballs.
My lawyers are encouraging me to be open to to discussing settlement out of court. Though with such damming evidence I have against you, I doubt you could offer me anything which could make up the mental trauma I endured.
With many thanks.
Private Eloise Megdryn.
It is with a sad heart that I have to send this letter of complaint to yourself.
In these trying financial times we all have to cut out unnecessary costs where we can.
Following the example of one of my neighbors, who recently had to give up his costly, but much beloved hawk (who he had raised from an egg) for a slightly belligerent local pigeon.
I have found myself unable to cover the costs of even the most basic of cosmetic purchases, which whilst more of a 'want' than a 'need' I do personally find essential for my mental wellbeing in such a cutthroat environment as Torn city.
I am always happier running from muggers when I am assured that I am looking good whilst I flee in terror.
The first three lollies I purchased from you, gave me the lucious magenta lip color I had been hoping for.
But that was when everything went wrong, and I am still so scarred by the incident in question, that my lawyer and therapist are in agreement that I do not talk about the events until legal proceedings are initiated.
After significant tests on your product, it turns out that the red pigment dye used, instead of the more usual carotenoid turned out to be instead something the scientists called Ferrori, this I have since learned is ground up metallic paint flakes from certain older red motor vehicles.
Do you know how much nickel they used to use in old car paint?
Were you aware that nickel is magnetic? Because let me assure you that it is!
Do you know how much of a problem magnetic lips can cause? Well, I do, and it's not pleasant. I think at least one hospital worker has since taken early retirement due to ongoing PTSD and trauma issues.
I cannot explain how much my quality of life has been affected by your substandard product.
My legal team will be in touch soon! I do not believe one such as yourself should ever be in a position to sell candy ever again, the idea that this situation could repeat with children... well it just chills my eyeballs.
My lawyers are encouraging me to be open to to discussing settlement out of court. Though with such damming evidence I have against you, I doubt you could offer me anything which could make up the mental trauma I endured.
With many thanks.
Private Eloise Megdryn.