yelaoshi: forum

Hi guys!

Welcome to my humble trading corner

I take all trades, big and small, so come one come all

DMs are open for any Questions!

I will be online around 5am until 2pm TCT and many pockets in between, so do feel welcome to start a trade whenever you can

Let’s do business!

🔗 My Price List!

🔗Start a TRADE!

🔗My Bazaar! (cool stuff)

I do $1 sales all the time, drop by and check it out if you see me in Trade Chat!

You could win Energy Drinks, Xanax, and lots MORE high value items! (pray cheddRNG is on your side!)

Why you should pick me?

I aim to keep prices LOW so you keep coming back for MASSIVE deals!

I have great service! I will do my best to resolve any issues and queries you may have

Advice! You can ask me any questions about TORN if you're new, and I mean it, any!

I was once new too, and the best way to learn in here is to ask, don't be intimidated!

My cool bazaar deals and $1 giveaways!

For the newbies: I'll buy all your city shop items at a rate better than the item market fees, so you can keep growing!

Exceptional Prices

97% xan! (I know what you're thinking, 811k for my xan? When item market is at 840k?) 

Here's a trick: bazaars sell them at 815k! How? Bazaars have 0% fees, item market is at 4%, and will be 5% soon, 96%*840k = 806.4k which means trading with me is more bang for your buck, and, its mug free! (DM me if you wanna know how to buy Xanax that cheap from bazaars too!)

97% Flowers and Plushies!

And it gets better! When I get access to the museum soon, I will be decreasing my margin, meaning you could get up to 102% market price for your Flushies! Why? Because the museum points from Flushies are worth more than market price!

And so many more amazing prices you'll have to check out on my price list!

I'm sure we'll do great business together, I hope you'll choose me!

And remember, don't have a good day, have a great day!

Ratings:

"Got to clean out some junk, and got paid well in the process! Better than item market. 10/10 recommend!" ~SirSoulless

"my goat" ~ski3r3n

"nice guy" ~Balooch

"Made a good trade, was quick to respond. Absolutely no complaints" ~Jackazz1976

"Super nice! Definitely better than trying to use the market to make some money!" ~Rebob

"Pleasure to trade with, will happily deal with again, thank you." ~GeorgeMonck

"Never have any issues, money is always right and fast." ~Jackazz1976

Hi, I am selling the 99k happy merit for those who are usually unable to achieve it.


How does it work?
-> We start stacking together 28-32 hours before the jump.

-> You will have to buy: 2x Poison Mistletoes, 1x Ecstasy, 4x Xanax for stacking and about 2-3 erotic DVDs to push past the 50k threshold if you are looking for the 99k merit, also depending on the maximum happiness of your property. Usually 2 poison mistletoes and 1 ecstasy on its own will allow you to reach at least 95k and above with a max happy PI.

-> When both of our drug cooldowns are over, I will use eDVDs and ecstasy to bring myself to 99k happy as my faction and company specials allow me to do so. After I train, you use the 2x Poison Mistletoe to steal happy from me, (use appropriate amount of edvds if needed,) take an ecstasy to bring yourself to 99k happy as well and train. Since you don't use a lot of booster cooldown, you may supplement your training with Energy Cans or FHCs for even more massive gains. Job points can be used as well if you wish.
Even if you already have the merit, max happy jumps can be effective till about 1.2-1.6m in a single stat, especially with boosters!

Simplified version: stack, buy stuff, I say go, use stuff, get strong and get merit


My fee: 14 eDVDs, or cash equivalent at that point in time. Xanax, ecstasy and Poison Mistletoes are at your own cost. 

Also proposing an alternative method:
Stacking goes the same way, but we will "chain" the stealing of happy. Basically 3 or more people can book the same slot and one of you steals directly from me. The second person will steal from the first after they complete their jump. Of course, this comes with greater risk since there are multiple ecstasy taken hence increasing chance of OD ruining the stack. However, the cost of this will be lowered to 5 eDVDs per person.
If less than 3 people book a slot, it is up to my discretion to cancel it if the parties are not willing to pay total 14 eDVDs, i.e. 7 eDVDs per person, (8 eDVDs 6 eDVDs), (9 eDVDs, 5 eDVDs)

Just initiate chat with me or message me for more info or to book slots, Will work on a first-come-first-serve basis with a small deposit needed. I will regularly update next available slots in the comments on this post.

Terms and conditions:
- 3 eDVD deposit is required to book your slot.
- I definitely refund all eDVD payments, including the deposit if I OD.
- However, refunds will not be given in the case of your own OD as it is not in my control (better pray more XD)
- Deposit will not be given back if there are no-shows.

Completed jumps:
01:31:34 - 15/01/26 Hexedexemal lured you in for a kiss under their poison mistletoe. The toxic vapours cause you to collapse and soil yourself profusely. Your happiness decreased by 24,824.
01:31:53 - 15/01/26 Hexedexemal lured you in for a kiss under their poison mistletoe. The toxic vapours cause you to collapse and soil yourself profusely. Your happiness decreased by 18,618.

Credits: ChenJH

.

HAPPY JUMPING

Message me for a list of slots 

Hi, I am selling the 99k happy merit for those who are usually unable to achieve it.


How does it work?
-> We start stacking together 28-32 hours before the jump.

-> You will have to buy: 2x Poison Mistletoes, 1x Ecstasy, 4x Xanax for stacking and about 2-3 erotic DVDs to push past the 50k threshold if you are looking for the 99k merit, also depending on the maximum happiness of your property. Usually 2 poison mistletoes and 1 ecstasy on its own will allow you to reach at least 95k and above with a max happy PI.

-> When both of our drug cooldowns are over, I will use eDVDs and ecstasy to bring myself to 99k happy as my faction and company specials allow me to do so. After I train, you use the 2x Poison Mistletoe to steal happy from me, (use appropriate amount of edvds if needed,) take an ecstasy to bring yourself to 99k happy as well and train. Since you don't use a lot of booster cooldown, you may supplement your training with Energy Cans or FHCs for even more massive gains. Job points can be used as well if you wish.
Even if you already have the merit, max happy jumps can be effective till about 1.2-1.6m in a single stat, especially with boosters!

Simplified version: stack, buy stuff, I say go, use stuff, get strong and get merit


My fee: 14 eDVDs, or cash equivalent at that point in time. Xanax, ecstasy and Poison Mistletoes are at your own cost. 

Also proposing an alternative method:
Stacking goes the same way, but we will "chain" the stealing of happy. Basically 3 or more people can book the same slot and one of you steals directly from me. The second person will steal from the first after they complete their jump. Of course, this comes with greater risk since there are multiple ecstasy taken hence increasing chance of OD ruining the stack. However, the cost of this will be lowered to 5 eDVDs per person.
If less than 3 people book a slot, it is up to my discretion to cancel it if the parties are not willing to pay total 14 eDVDs, i.e. 7 eDVDs per person, (8 eDVDs 6 eDVDs), (9 eDVDs, 5 eDVDs)

Just initiate chat with me or message me for more info or to book slots, Will work on a first-come-first-serve basis with a small deposit needed. I will regularly update next available slots in the comments on this post.

Terms and conditions:
- 3 eDVD deposit is required to book your slot.
- I definitely refund all eDVD payments, including the deposit if I OD.
- However, refunds will not be given in the case of your own OD as it is not in my control (better pray more XD)
- Deposit will not be given back if there are no-shows.

Completed jumps:
01:31:34 - 15/01/26 Hexedexemal lured you in for a kiss under their poison mistletoe. The toxic vapours cause you to collapse and soil yourself profusely. Your happiness decreased by 24,824.
01:31:53 - 15/01/26 Hexedexemal lured you in for a kiss under their poison mistletoe. The toxic vapours cause you to collapse and soil yourself profusely. Your happiness decreased by 18,618.

Credits: ChenJH

Did 2 losses

5

Fast and great xan price

B

Sounds like a really useful script for a problem that I always face! It seems to be broken for me, would a kind soul please patch this amazing script!

B

B

B

B

B

B

B

B

B

B

B

Hi guys!

Welcome to my humble trading corner

I take all trades, big and small, so come one come all

DMs are open for any Questions!

I will be online around 5am until 2pm TCT and many pockets in between, so do feel welcome to start a trade whenever you can

Let’s do business!

🔗 My Price List!

🔗Start a TRADE!

🔗My Bazaar! (cool stuff)

I do $1 sales all the time, drop by and check it out if you see me in Trade Chat!

You could win Energy Drinks, Xanax, and lots MORE high value items! (pray cheddRNG is on your side!)

Why you should pick me?

I aim to keep prices LOW so you keep coming back for MASSIVE deals!

I have great service! I will do my best to resolve any issues and queries you may have

Advice! You can ask me any questions about TORN if you're new, and I mean it, any!

I was once new too, and the best way to learn in here is to ask, don't be intimidated!

My cool bazaar deals and $1 giveaways!

For the newbies: I'll buy all your city shop items at a rate better than the item market fees, so you can keep growing!

Exceptional Prices

97% xan! (I know what you're thinking, 811k for my xan? When item market is at 840k?) 

Here's a trick: bazaars sell them at 815k! How? Bazaars have 0% fees, item market is at 4%, and will be 5% soon, 96%*840k = 806.4k which means trading with me is more bang for your buck, and, its mug free! (DM me if you wanna know how to buy Xanax that cheap from bazaars too!)

97% Flowers and Plushies!

And it gets better! When I get access to the museum soon, I will be decreasing my margin, meaning you could get up to 102% market price for your Flushies! Why? Because the museum points from Flushies are worth more than market price!

And so many more amazing prices you'll have to check out on my price list!

I'm sure we'll do great business together, I hope you'll choose me!

And remember, don't have a good day, have a great day!

Ratings:

"Got to clean out some junk, and got paid well in the process! Better than item market. 10/10 recommend!" ~SirSoulless

"my goat" ~ski3r3n

"nice guy" ~Balooch

"Made a good trade, was quick to respond. Absolutely no complaints" ~Jackazz1976

"Super nice! Definitely better than trying to use the market to make some money!" ~Rebob

"Pleasure to trade with, will happily deal with again, thank you." ~GeorgeMonck

"Never have any issues, money is always right and fast." ~Jackazz1976

.