Hard to believe it's been a year since I first stumbled into Torn, clueless, broke, and pretty sure “gym” was just decorative. Since then, I’ve been mugged, hospitalized, ghosted by my own nerve bar, and somehow ended up in a great faction that didn’t immediately kick me for asking questions like “what’s a merit?” or “why does everyone hate me already?” Still not sure why they let me stay, but I’m not complaining.
The first few months? Brutal. Every direction felt like a scam or a trap. Training stats felt like trying to get jacked on lettuce. Crimes failed more often than my willpower. Even selling drugs was unprofitable—how? It’s drugs!
Tried out everything. Racing? Spun out every lap like a drunk flamingo. Bounty hunting? Ended up the one with the bounty. Traveling abroad? Fun, confusing, and slightly disorienting when you come back broke and jet-lagged. Overdosed a few times—mostly on ambition and Xanax. Lesson learned. Kind of.
Then there was the war season: me, marching into battle with battle stats so low I could’ve been beaten by a gust of wind. Nothing says “hero” like being KO’d by a player with “retired” in their name.
Took a couple months off somewhere in the middle. Game got stale, real life got loud. Came back and everything had changed except my stats.
Biggest struggle? Just finding my place. Torn is a loud, chaotic, weird city, full of grinders, whales, trolls, and some people who actually know what they're doing. Meanwhile I’m out here hoarding plushies and hoping the money fairy shows up.
But hey. Still here. Slightly stronger, moderately wiser, and significantly more sarcastic. Year two? Let’s see how much more damage I can do.
“Don’t chase the money—mug the guy who already did.”
The company i worked for (have since been fired for calling him out), was recently bought by a certified tool (won't name drop just yet), and he immediately told everyone that we needed to pay 1 edvd per week with no pay other than dvds. Am I in the wrong for thinking that is kinda bonkers?
I’m bored of the usual grind—gym trains, nerve crimes, trading xan like it's Wall Street, etc. You know, the usual soulless treadmill of Torn life. So I figured I'd throw this out to the forum hive mind:
What’s the most interesting, uncommon, or just plain weird thing you do to make money in Torn?
I'm talking about niche side hustles, forgotten mechanics, or stuff that only makes sense at 3am when you’re 12 tabs deep in Torn Wiki and eating cereal dry out of the box. Maybe you scam NPCs in Blackjack, maybe you’ve cornered the market on soap, maybe you roleplay as a taxi driver with a spreadsheet. I don’t know. That’s what I’m here to find out.
Bonus points if it sounds dumb but actually prints money. Double bonus points if it involves manipulating other players in a way that’s technically allowed but morally questionable.
Enlighten me. Confuse me. Make me wish I’d thought of it first.
So I’ve hit that point in Torn where I’m pretty sure half of you are using wizard magic to play more efficiently and the other half are just pretending to suffer like the rest of us.
Anyway, what are the scripts, extensions, tools, spreadsheets, or weird rituals you use to make Torn less painful (and maybe even profitable)? Like, what’s in your setup that you’d genuinely cry about losing?
Could be crime helpers, training planners, travel timers, faction dashboards—whatever makes you feel less like you're manually playing a game designed in 2004.
Not looking for anything sketchy—just stuff that actually helps and won’t get me yeeted into Fed jail. Bonus points if it’s obscure or makes you feel like a genius.
Drop your favorites. Or don’t. But I’ll be here clicking things the hard way until someone takes pity on me.
I'll give some insight into this, as I was in Lupi Furiae for this war; Furiae has won the last 8 wars we've fought, if you actually look at the faction warfare page you will see this.
And the war wasn't officially over when the "terms" were agreed upon, it was several (not exactly sure how many) hours before reenlistment time. These terms were meant to benefit both factions as it would allow both of us to reenlist; and Wacky offered up compensation for if they missed their mark.
The company i worked for (have since been fired for calling him out), was recently bought by a certified tool (won't name drop just yet), and he immediately told everyone that we needed to pay 1 edvd per week with no pay other than dvds. Am I in the wrong for thinking that is kinda bonkers?
As gutted as I was that we lost, i can also agree it was a fantastic war, I'm sure both of our factions learned a lot, and hope you guys can apply what was learned to your future wars as much as we plan on!
So I’ve hit that point in Torn where I’m pretty sure half of you are using wizard magic to play more efficiently and the other half are just pretending to suffer like the rest of us.
Anyway, what are the scripts, extensions, tools, spreadsheets, or weird rituals you use to make Torn less painful (and maybe even profitable)? Like, what’s in your setup that you’d genuinely cry about losing?
Could be crime helpers, training planners, travel timers, faction dashboards—whatever makes you feel less like you're manually playing a game designed in 2004.
Not looking for anything sketchy—just stuff that actually helps and won’t get me yeeted into Fed jail. Bonus points if it’s obscure or makes you feel like a genius.
Drop your favorites. Or don’t. But I’ll be here clicking things the hard way until someone takes pity on me.
Hard to believe it's been a year since I first stumbled into Torn, clueless, broke, and pretty sure “gym” was just decorative. Since then, I’ve been mugged, hospitalized, ghosted by my own nerve bar, and somehow ended up in a great faction that didn’t immediately kick me for asking questions like “what’s a merit?” or “why does everyone hate me already?” Still not sure why they let me stay, but I’m not complaining.
The first few months? Brutal. Every direction felt like a scam or a trap. Training stats felt like trying to get jacked on lettuce. Crimes failed more often than my willpower. Even selling drugs was unprofitable—how? It’s drugs!
Tried out everything. Racing? Spun out every lap like a drunk flamingo. Bounty hunting? Ended up the one with the bounty. Traveling abroad? Fun, confusing, and slightly disorienting when you come back broke and jet-lagged. Overdosed a few times—mostly on ambition and Xanax. Lesson learned. Kind of.
Then there was the war season: me, marching into battle with battle stats so low I could’ve been beaten by a gust of wind. Nothing says “hero” like being KO’d by a player with “retired” in their name.
Took a couple months off somewhere in the middle. Game got stale, real life got loud. Came back and everything had changed except my stats.
Biggest struggle? Just finding my place. Torn is a loud, chaotic, weird city, full of grinders, whales, trolls, and some people who actually know what they're doing. Meanwhile I’m out here hoarding plushies and hoping the money fairy shows up.
But hey. Still here. Slightly stronger, moderately wiser, and significantly more sarcastic. Year two? Let’s see how much more damage I can do.
“Don’t chase the money—mug the guy who already did.”
I’m bored of the usual grind—gym trains, nerve crimes, trading xan like it's Wall Street, etc. You know, the usual soulless treadmill of Torn life. So I figured I'd throw this out to the forum hive mind:
What’s the most interesting, uncommon, or just plain weird thing you do to make money in Torn?
I'm talking about niche side hustles, forgotten mechanics, or stuff that only makes sense at 3am when you’re 12 tabs deep in Torn Wiki and eating cereal dry out of the box. Maybe you scam NPCs in Blackjack, maybe you’ve cornered the market on soap, maybe you roleplay as a taxi driver with a spreadsheet. I don’t know. That’s what I’m here to find out.
Bonus points if it sounds dumb but actually prints money. Double bonus points if it involves manipulating other players in a way that’s technically allowed but morally questionable.
Enlighten me. Confuse me. Make me wish I’d thought of it first.
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Currently level holding at 15, roughly 23K total battle stats, just getting back into the flow of things after a several month long break, usually have at least 3-4 hours per day, but that is usually spread out quite a bit. Would like a faction that is friendly, I'm open to wars, but am primarily looking to develop my stats and knowledge of the game more.