Cheers for asking, it's been tough but since I got help it's helped me to understand why my brain/my thoughts/my words in my vooce have been keeping me down, I've been writing stuff down and deleting or throwing away but this thing that I've written really hit me hard and inspired me to put it out, I really hope it csn reach someone.
I'm medicated now which has helped clear the fog and helped with therapy to get on top of things and helped me to see another way out.
You alright mate? I'm rubbish with words but I'm sharing something so here goes. Some people who know me know but many who know me don't. I've really struggled with my mental health for most of my life. But more recently my confidence disapeared, my anxiety and my depression took over and seeped into every aspect of my life, self care became an issue, I was self harming, self medicating, I stopped eating hoping that my body would just stop, I stopped looking before crossing the road knowing that if something happened everyone would see it as an accident so they would never need to know that I was struggling, I compared myself to everybody else who I believed was going through or had been through similar struggles and saw them as successes and therefore believed I was a failure, my only purpose in life became earning money to provide for my family but I was convinced that someone better would replace me. So I overdosed. Then I was concerned that me living with what was 'My problem' would mean that it was unsafe for the public for me to be doing my job which was the last thing I felt I wasn't a complete failure at, and my work place being my last hiding place, the fear of losing my Job or killing someone else, I got help. I spoke to my GP, I was signed off from work. I Started therapy. When I returned to work there was some talk going around that someone had a breakdown and everyone was concerned. When someone told me and them asked if I was alright, rather than saying "yeah, you?", I said "been better", and laughed. Then I opened up, I explained that it was me that people are talking about, I didn't feel ashamed anymore. I was expecting them to jokingly shun me or be apologetic but we just began talking and I was suprised at how much advice and support and how much this person was openly talking about their own struggles and how they had struggled with self harm and other things that men just don't talk about. If only I'd been honest sooner I.
I just want to say next time a friend, collegue, or passer by says. "You alright mate!" It might be a time to share. If you think someone might be strugling ask, "Are you realy alright mate?"
But anyway I shaved my beard and have formed a beautiful stache, if this raises awareness it's great, if this raises money that's fantastic and if this saves one more life this is perfect.