While gearing up for my next happy jump, I found myself wondering: What was the best consumable to buy for happiness? From here, I found myself researching how much happiness cost, and ultimately finding the average value in Torn for a single point of happiness.
The Idea: I would take all consumables that grant happiness*, calculate how much one happy point cost from that item**, rank them all and find the average cost of happiness.
*Excluding Speed, Xanax, Boxes of Tissues, and LSD.
**Using Item Market prices as of 9/22/25, from 20:00 to 22:00 UTC.
To accomplish this, I started by finding the cost of a happy point for each happiness-granting item. Unranked, here they are:
Shrooms: $8/Happy
PCP: $32/Happy
Bag of Bon Bons: $22/Happy
Bag of Chocolate Kisses: $22/Happy
Box of Extra Strong Mints: $23/Happy
Box of Sweet Hearts: $22/Happy
Lollipop: $26/Happy
Box of Chocolate Bars: $25/Happy
Box of Bon Bons: $22/Happy
Big Box of Chocolate Bars: $1,843/Happy
Bag of Candy Kisses: $1,340/Happy
Bag of Tootsie Rolls: $1,333/Happy
Bag of Bloody Eyeballs: $1,299/Happy
Bag of Chocolate Truffles: $1,539/Happy
Bag of Reindeer Droppings: $1,860/Happy
Bag of Sherbet: $2,267/Happy
Pixie Sticks: $2,293/Happy
Jawbreaker: $2,600/Happy
Bag of Humbugs: $3,133/Happy
Chocolate Egg: $18,651/Happy
Birthday Cupcake: $17,600/Happy
Erotic DVD: $1,950/Happy
Feathery Hotel Coupon: $29,480/Happy
Now that the hard work was done, I could get to the goal of this whole thing: the average cost of one happiness. Ladies and germs, I present to you the average cost of happiness here in Torn:
$3,696
Does anyone really care that much? No, probably not. The best thing that came out of this was the ranking of which candy/drug/DVD/coupon gave you the best bang for your buck. The ranking is as follows:
Shrooms
Box of Bon Bons*
Box of Sweet Hearts
Bag of Chocolate Kisses
Bag of Bon Bons
Box of Extra Strong Mints
Box of Chocolate Bars
Lollipop
PCP
Bag of Bloody Eyeballs
Bag of Tootsie Rolls
Bag of Candy Kisses
Bag of Chocolate Truffles
Big Box of Chocolate Bars
Bag of Reindeer Droppings
EDVD
Bag of Sherbet
Pixie Sticks
Jawbreaker
Bag of Humbugs
Birthday Cupcake
Chocolate Egg
Feathery Hotel Coupon
Spots 2 through 5 are interchangeable.
Now, does this mean that you should stop buying your DVDs right now and switch over to taking Shrooms? No, of course not. Not only should you take my math with a grain of salt, since the market changes all the time, I didn't account for booster/drug cooldown in any of this. YOu can only take one Shroom at a time, and I doubt you want to take 48 Bon Bons just to get 1200 happiness. Altogether, just keep this in mind the next time you buy some candy.
While gearing up for my next happy jump, I found myself wondering: What was the best consumable to buy for happiness? From here, I found myself researching how much happiness cost, and ultimately finding the average value in Torn for a single point of happiness.
The Idea: I would take all consumables that grant happiness*, calculate how much one happy point cost from that item**, rank them all and find the average cost of happiness.
*Excluding Speed, Xanax, Boxes of Tissues, and LSD.
**Using Item Market prices as of 9/22/25, from 20:00 to 22:00 UTC.
To accomplish this, I started by finding the cost of a happy point for each happiness-granting item. Unranked, here they are:
Shrooms: $8/Happy
PCP: $32/Happy
Bag of Bon Bons: $22/Happy
Bag of Chocolate Kisses: $22/Happy
Box of Extra Strong Mints: $23/Happy
Box of Sweet Hearts: $22/Happy
Lollipop: $26/Happy
Box of Chocolate Bars: $25/Happy
Box of Bon Bons: $22/Happy
Big Box of Chocolate Bars: $1,843/Happy
Bag of Candy Kisses: $1,340/Happy
Bag of Tootsie Rolls: $1,333/Happy
Bag of Bloody Eyeballs: $1,299/Happy
Bag of Chocolate Truffles: $1,539/Happy
Bag of Reindeer Droppings: $1,860/Happy
Bag of Sherbet: $2,267/Happy
Pixie Sticks: $2,293/Happy
Jawbreaker: $2,600/Happy
Bag of Humbugs: $3,133/Happy
Chocolate Egg: $18,651/Happy
Birthday Cupcake: $17,600/Happy
Erotic DVD: $1,950/Happy
Feathery Hotel Coupon: $29,480/Happy
Now that the hard work was done, I could get to the goal of this whole thing: the average cost of one happiness. Ladies and germs, I present to you the average cost of happiness here in Torn:
$3,696
Does anyone really care that much? No, probably not. The best thing that came out of this was the ranking of which candy/drug/DVD/coupon gave you the best bang for your buck. The ranking is as follows:
Shrooms
Box of Bon Bons*
Box of Sweet Hearts
Bag of Chocolate Kisses
Bag of Bon Bons
Box of Extra Strong Mints
Box of Chocolate Bars
Lollipop
PCP
Bag of Bloody Eyeballs
Bag of Tootsie Rolls
Bag of Candy Kisses
Bag of Chocolate Truffles
Big Box of Chocolate Bars
Bag of Reindeer Droppings
EDVD
Bag of Sherbet
Pixie Sticks
Jawbreaker
Bag of Humbugs
Birthday Cupcake
Chocolate Egg
Feathery Hotel Coupon
Spots 2 through 5 are interchangeable.
Now, does this mean that you should stop buying your DVDs right now and switch over to taking Shrooms? No, of course not. Not only should you take my math with a grain of salt, since the market changes all the time, I didn't account for booster/drug cooldown in any of this. YOu can only take one Shroom at a time, and I doubt you want to take 48 Bon Bons just to get 1200 happiness. Altogether, just keep this in mind the next time you buy some candy.