Mcshitz: forum

I once totally fought like 10 ninjas that weren't sent to kill the president of Australia and like I was on vacation didn't even break a sweat either. He totally made me the mayor of Sydney for a day and then that's how I became inducted into the illuminati so basically I'm a pretty big deal...

Resume says:

Proficient in mathematics, English, psychology - especially in business, business management, financial advising, and of course management. 

GED and some college of business administration courses through The University of Everyday I'm Hustling. Of course that does mean I took the prerequisites such as Knocking doors in the hood and I did have a little spat down a minor in "98 problems and money ain't one" however I left before receiving an internship through that program because I would've relocated to Dubai, a country that has deported me, and will not be so nice the fifth time if I am caught there.

My job experience is mostly in restraunts and management. I took over one might say a local dive bar just on the outskirts of my old town. When the owner generously donated his bar to me on his deathbed due to his son(s) not being present, I helped turn the 1 star establishment gain its fist Michellin star.

Of course when I was wanted in that county for mortgage fraud I had to flee and found myself working in construction where I naturally took over as a foreman and then a director of several building developments too regentirfy an entire township, it was a success however I do have to disclose that I was fired from that position due too "code violations" last time I checked being under budget on a job site was a blessing, not just for the bonus but for the people who have to lease the property who will now have completive prices...

After wandering for a while and investing in real estate the market collapsed so I had to take all my assets and liquidate them to start my own catering business on the go, since you know? Active warrants and all - but this did mean I could also go into my side hustle developing my own crypto currency. I can't tell you what that is for legal reasons but I will say it allowed me to buy a private island off of the coast of Peru which I don't access too because I've been embargoed from South America... Don't mix business with romance ok?

Where was I? Yeah I worked on a farm and actually had the sisters there sign over the deed in my name so I could take a double mortgage out on it then refinance and change banks for interest reasons to a bank in Peru. Basically I'm not allowed too have a bank account anymore... So if you are looking on paying me it has to be in cash or Bitcoin. 

Anyways I have about 11.7 million in assets I can't collect on and are in some legal limbo, but I work hard and make a lot of money...

References:

Former president of Peru: Don-julio Corona (xxx)-xxx-xxxx

Former director of affairs at Build That! Construction TM: Johnson Williams (xxx)-xxx-xxxx

Former owner of Handle Bars: Julian Piopes

Ranch hands and farm owners: Heather and Crystal O'hannon

Looking around confused and agaped at the calm and see.ingly romantic environment he looks around and and frantically becomes aware of the large sign hanging overhead reading "sleed dates"

He trembles and shakes, not just embarrassed but also appalled be wasted his last dollars on printing the paper to give out resumes and now wasted the time and effort over here to get a job when an opportunity existed elsewhere. He combs his hair with his fingers as his eyes peer off into nothingness, almost grabbing, no strangling the hairs he combs through. 

He looks at the kind people and around thinking of how to make this situation not so awkward, not so much a waste of time. His heart beats loudly as he struggles to regain composure. He starts sliding the resume back to himself, breaking eye contact...shaking less.

He slumps over before exhaling loudly and snapping back to a fake somewhat stilted and less than stature he had before. "Of course I don't just do restraunts I can work anywhere - from farms too secretarial positions too financial advising..." Completely sure of himself he addresses the man as well "Everyone needs insurance and retirement plans!" He nudges the man as he nods and smiles. Just like everyone needs a good plate of food, customer service." 

He stands there with only silence to cover for him.

A man dressed in a formal suit buttoned up, with shiny slick backed brown hair and obviously manicured eyebrows with a clean shaven face approaches. He bows and and looks dreadfully serious as if he has business to get too. I'm his hand a good amount of sheets of paper, all looking like the same paper just copied over and over again.

He nears the table hovering for a tad before nodding

"You'll see here that I was in restraint management for at least 5 years, of course nothing as serious as this fine establishment, but I still worked hard and diligently. I have 4 references that can back up my work ethic claims and although I'd have to start from the bottom again I take the same professional courtesy as if I were the Owner. I recently had some familial troubles that caused me to move to this city and unfortunately I dropped everything I had back there... Besides the obvious management experience I actually help cater some large gatherings for my family and for friends. I'm not a chef by any means but damnit can I get 120 deviled eggs done in time for a thanksgiving feast.!"

He stands there his hand outreaches with he paper as he gently slides it to her on the table and nods his head again. He then stands back up tall and straight his hands behind his back as if a waiter or servant would, looking down at her  with his face completely forward. 

"I'll give you the time to look over that and decide on your own but I'd like some answer within a few minutes ..."

He points to the top of the paper and it reads 'Resume'

A quarter royal? That's some fancy shit! But why are there so many godamn snakes on this motherf**king plain?