My First Unlucky Run
I stepped off the plane in Japan like a bargain‑bin hero,
clutching my travel cash tight, guarding every last zero,
my first Xanax run, a quest I’d hyped up far too much,
imagining glory for a job that barely needed a touch.
Then he appeared...
a mugger with swagger, like fate’s hired gun,
sent solely to ruin my very first run.
He moved with the confidence of someone who knew
that unlucky travellers were his favourite to pursue.
Before I could blink,
Torn hit me with that chirpy, taunting call:
“this screen is unavailable while in hospital,”
as if the devs themselves enjoyed watching me fall.
My hopes died loudly, dramatic as hell,
my finger still frozen mid‑purchase as I fell
the punchline delivered before the joke had begun,
my grand little mission already undone.
And then I see it...
the message that twists the knife just right:
£712,871 glowing smugly in the light,
mocking my effort with a grin I could feel
“not enough for Xanax, mate… enjoy the ordeal.”