Hello fellow Torn citizens,
As you know, private island rent is not cheap, and frankly, after last month's hospital bills (shoutout to whoever mugged me outside the Torn Museum AGAIN), I simply cannot continue to carry this financial burden alone.
I have therefore decided to seek a life partner, soulmate, and 50/50 co-tenant for my private island. This is first and foremost a business arrangement. Romance is a bonus. A small bonus. Negotiable.
What I'm offering:
Exclusive access to a beautiful tropical island (the north half — I'm keeping the beach)
Shared use of the fully operational airstrip — no, you may not rename it
Marvin, our pilot, who is licensed, mostly sober, and only asks questions when turbulence gets "weird"
A stunning ocean view, provided you stand on the roof
My company, which I'm told is "an acquired taste"
Requirements for applicants:
Must be able to contribute to rent. I don't care how you make your money. This is Torn.
Must not ask Marvin about "the incident in Paraguay." We don't talk about that.
Must be okay with the occasional unannounced faction raid. They usually leave by Tuesday.
Must not be currently wanted by the Torn PD. (Warrants under $50k considered case-by-case)
No drug couriers, unless you're discreet. The island has a reputation.
Please respond via in-game mail with your current net worth, criminal record summary (highlights only), and one fun fact about yourself that is NOT related to how many people you've hospitalised.
I am not picky but I do have standards. Specifically, one standard: you must pay your half of the rent on time. I'm looking at YOU, DarkLord_Destroyer99. You know what you did.
Note: This is a legal and binding offer under Torn City civil code. The island deed will remain solely in my name. Marvin is non-transferable. Any applicant found to be a government spy will be flown somewhere "scenic" and left there. Have a great day!