Guns 4 Tots is the next big philanthropic investment!
Torn city is well known for its bastards, crime, gambling, and quasi-litterate community! However, this is clearly not a game for impressionable minds, such as children, teens, or furries. How then can Torn promote itself to the next generation of players? The answer is simple; Guns 4 Tots!
We leverage capital raised from investors to run forum based promotions encouraging parents to bring their infant children into our beautiful city. What with all its bright colours, number games, and friendly faces; what better learning experience could be had from the comfort of the crib!
Now, there are going to be some skeptics in the crowd, so let me reassure you, nothing is more important to us than the wellbeing of our youth. With children, there are risks of gambling addictions, the encouragement of alcohol and tobacco, but our internal, publicly unavailable research shows that babies are simply too stupid (even compared to the average Torn player) to get addicted! So you can rest easy knowing the only lasting damage being done is to their bank accounts!
Guns 4 Tots would put heavy weaponry and cash in the hands of every baby under the age of 9-months, and, after their 14-day noobie protection ends, that cash is ripe for the picking by our veteran community. Some of you might say, "Wait, Ozy, why give them Guns and not just more cash?" The answer is simple, stupid, the Guns keep away low level players, ensuring your returns are safe until those babies are old enough to be detered from playing, and veterans like you are ready to collect!
We are seeking investors looking for a big future, and bigger returns. A small investment in the future will grow faster than that lump of coal in Santa's stocking. After all, if you cant beat literal babies and steal their money, what's the point in living?
At Guns 4 Tots we live and die by our simple 4-word motto. Dont think, just invest!
Guns 4 Tots is the next big philanthropic investment!
Torn city is well known for its bastards, crime, gambling, and quasi-litterate community! However, this is clearly not a game for impressionable minds, such as children, teens, or furries. How then can Torn promote itself to the next generation of players? The answer is simple; Guns 4 Tots!
We leverage capital raised from investors to run forum based promotions encouraging parents to bring their infant children into our beautiful city. What with all its bright colours, number games, and friendly faces; what better learning experience could be had from the comfort of the crib!
Now, there are going to be some skeptics in the crowd, so let me reassure you, nothing is more important to us than the wellbeing of our youth. With children, there are risks of gambling addictions, the encouragement of alcohol and tobacco, but our internal, publicly unavailable research shows that babies are simply too stupid (even compared to the average Torn player) to get addicted! So you can rest easy knowing the only lasting damage being done is to their bank accounts!
Guns 4 Tots would put heavy weaponry and cash in the hands of every baby under the age of 9-months, and, after their 14-day noobie protection ends, that cash is ripe for the picking by our veteran community. Some of you might say, "Wait, Ozy, why give them Guns and not just more cash?" The answer is simple, stupid, the Guns keep away low level players, ensuring your returns are safe until those babies are old enough to be detered from playing, and veterans like you are ready to collect!
We are seeking investors looking for a big future, and bigger returns. A small investment in the future will grow faster than that lump of coal in Santa's stocking. After all, if you cant beat literal babies and steal their money, what's the point in living?
At Guns 4 Tots we live and die by our simple 4-word motto. Dont think, just invest!