Granted! Genghis c**t: The Musical becomes vastly popular to the extent that porn suddenly becomes mainstream, It is no longer uncommon for folks to be seen re-enacting its most celebrated scenes in public. Unfortunately it was a huge hit with senior citizens, mainly the octogenarian crowd. (I'll leave you with that image)
Granted! Genghis c**t: The Musical becomes vastly popular to the extent that porn suddenly becomes mainstream, It is no longer uncommon for folks to be seen re-enacting its most celebrated scenes in public. Unfortunately it was a huge hit with senior citizens, mainly the octogenarian crowd. (I'll leave you with that image)
Granted: But every wish is corrupted in the same way they are here. After gaining and subsequently losing all the money, cars, girlfriends, houses ect that you have wished for, you decide you never even want to THINK of the word 'wish' again.
Granted: But it literally looks like a cell phone super glued to your face. Your friends and neighbors laugh, and eventually someone tries to mug you for it, and greatly damages your cranium.
Granted! You even set up show space for said twerking squirrel. Too bad the only folks that show up are broke hipsters that ignore the signs posted everywhere saying not to feed said squirrel. Your dancing pet eventually gains so much weight, it's little squirrelly heart gives out, and you have to bury him in a shoe box in the back yard. Poor little guy :(
Granted: The one time is dropped, and replaced with 'two times' , 'three times' , 'four times' , until the song is completely ruined and The Fugees are completely forgotten for the rest of history.
Granted! You secretly hop a plane to the nearest port, Praying your extended family and freinds don't try to follow to 'visit' and take up residence in your new hideaway. After landing you charter a ferry to your new island. Unfortunately there is a storm and your ferry ends up in the bottom of the ocean. Luckiliy, you wash up on the beach of your fantastic isle retreat, and the mansion is beautiful! However, your cell phone was wet and destroyed, the mansion has no power, and the only food stocked in your mansion are thousands of cans of spam. It's looking like rescue is a long ways away, better get to hunting :)
I wish I didn't have to mow my lawn all the time :(
Granted: You find THE BEST GAME IN THE WORLD on your xbox, and you begin to play it. Fifteen minutes into the game and your xbox live membership runs out, and your debit card is NOWHERE IN SIGHT. You now have to wait another two weeks for a new one to be shipped, to reup your membership.
Granted! However, now there's that pesky problem of everyone being so happy that they fail to notice half the population suddenly so happy that they laugh themselves to death in some Batman villian-esque sort of way. Pity.
Granted: But said spaceship only has preset destinations: Your choices include A barren wasteland, a planet completely dedicated to the 'Small World After All' ride at Disney, or last but not least, Courtney Love's gaping vagina. Enjoy your trip.
I wish my cat would quit licking it's arse every time my webcam is on.