Hi everyone! I'm Inori, and I'm mostly just a forum lurker, but today I thought I would crawl out of my shell and contribute something. Most of the threads in Fun and Games are really just free money or giveaway threads (no shame, I partake occasionally in those LOL), but it would be nice to have something else for a change!
I present to the Torn community a thread to post your (or someone else's) story, connecting those surrealistic Torn events to real life. Unleash your inner writer, and share a humorous and clever account of your experiences in Torn!
I also lurk on Reddit; this thread was really inspired by the subreddit found here: http://www.reddit.com/r/LifeasanNPC
And my own boredom, of course! To kick things off, here's a story of my own! Enjoy, and please don't hesitate to make your own contribution~
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(Told from the perspective of player JordanB, a relatively new Level 6 player who recently won the Holy Grail jackpot for 6.4+ billion dollars)
So I'm just searching for some cash under the old bridge, when suddenly I hear this huge fanfare. I shrug, and just drink a bottle of beer to regain my dignity temporarily (and nerve).
In the blink of an eye, I'm transported to the Torn Casino, where an army of bodyguards and men dressed in black offer me a gargantuan shopping cart stacked with fat briefcases and bags full of money. The Torn City newspaper press is taking photo after photo.
I drink another bottle of beer.
The bodyguards are really friendly. We talk and have a good time, and share a couple of beers too. Then, after three days, they just leave me without a word. I shrug.
I drink another bottle of beer.
Wait, I don't need to do that anymore. I don't need to search under the old bridge anymore. I've got all this money and I have no idea what to do with it. I go to Big Al's, and I buy the most expensive gear he has. With my new $95,000 Steyr AUG and $75,000 Full Body Armor, I'm feeling pretty stacked.
I drink a bottle of champagne.
As I'm pushing my big shopping cart down to my old Chalet, the horizon darkens. But it isn't the sun setting. Before my eyes, hundreds upon thousands of men dressed in full combat armor wielding dual hammers and other menacing weapons are charging after me, shouting incoherently. What in the world is going on?
I'm in the hospital.
One of the nurses offers me morphine (for free!) so I can get better. I plunge 3 syringes into my arm, and I'm out of the hospital, somehow. The nurse then turns around and smacks me with her dual hammers out of nowhere, then steals a little bit from my shopping cart full of money.
I'm rolled back into the hospital.