Girlfriend Problems

Girls are sweet,
And girls are honey,
But beat your meat,
And save your money.

You have grass is greener syndrome. You associate it with that first time high of getting engaged and all the positive feelings, and in true fashion of a man in love, your rose coloured glasses block out the view of anything that is bad for you.

One day, I guarantee you, if you were to come to back and read this post, you'd laugh to yourself. You said it yourself, it's toxic.

This girl cheated on you, she doesn't care for you, she doesn't care for your feelings or what you think of her, I'm sorry. If you love somebody enough to marry them do you hurt them, do you disregard their feelings? No, I think you and I both know that is wrong, you put the above nearly everything else.

The other girl, I'm not so sure on either, you're still lusting after another girl and your view clearly isn't straight if you don't mind me saying. Maybe this other girl is great, but you haven't seen that yet. Or maybe you just don't like her that much but like the comfort of a back up, either way, if you feel just 'content' you're probably going to resent carrying it on and getting very serious.

Here's what I'd do, and I have done every time I've had girl troubles. I've deleted them off social media or hidden them, figured out what is good about my life and what I want to pursue and I've set myself the target. If I like them so much, if I care what they think so much, I'll make myself that person they ever regret overlooking.

Study hard, exercise hard, socialise hard. Become the person you have the potential to become and so next time you run into her, you aren't bothered because you're chasing somebody way better. I guarantee if you do this, you'll eventually realise you don't need drink and can do way better.

Remember, become that person that'd show them what they're missing (this doesn't mean becoming an a*****e, this means becoming the best at what you do, studies, jobs, etc).

I realise this is a long post, but sometimes a random person on the internet might just be able to help, but maybe not.

If I didn't, I'm sorry. But the warning signs are there, you know it's toxic. You wouldn't eat poison so don't sleep with it.

You'll lose a lot of money chasing women, and never lose women chasing money.





Hallmarkisms aside: they're all batshit crazy.





Batshit.





Crazy.





Every. Single. One.

You need to take a deep look into your feelings. try to to think hard about all the feelings you have had with this first girl. Is it for her or is it your own mind and memories that you are falling in love with. What I mean is the visions you put her in, especially if this was your first love or first relationship or real relationship. Proposing after three months kid of shows that you kind of were hoping to much and you did not give enough time to connect on real feelings. So a bit of what you are feeling now are remnants of what you felt then and not new feelings. You need to look in and determine for yourself what you are feeling.

You said that there was a lot of conflict and problems. look back at them and see why they were caused and who was causing them. Was it more her, you, or just things that came up. Was perhaps some of the problems caused purposely? From either side but subconsciously purposely. Like if there was make up sex after big fights or a feeling that somehow you crave after settling the problems. Something you might not realize that you could be drawn to.

Now with the new girl, sometimes connections just do not happen, although there could be a chance you are preventing it from happening because of the feelings and things you have about and because of the first girl. Also that little spark is not going to be the same so do not expect it to be.

With all these questions I am asking I do not want to know the answers they are things that you need to look at the answers yourself.

The world loves a bastard/bitch

what's it like having a girlfriend? i'm 40 and don't know :(

From the sounds of it I think it might be worth considering totally giving up on the old girlfriend as by the sounds of it she will never be good for you no matter how good the small moments may be, and if you aren't connecting with the new girlfriend then it might be worth considering being single for a while. It'll be difficult for a while but it'll give you some much needed time and space to think everything through and decide what to do next.

I have had same problem your best to let go she'll never chang my ex always cheated on me and dumped me and I always took her back I tried sometimes its best to let go some girls wont chang the girl that's ment for you will stay with you the one that cheats is not worth the heart break

Oh forgot to say with what I was saying, With the first girl you probably should move on from her but you need to ask those questions to yourself and look into the whole thing so you are better able to get past it.

neither ... keep looking for option nº3

They go through an INCREDIBLE amount of toilet paper.

Seriously. I don't know what they do with it all.

It's worthwhile getting a Costco membership before moving her in.

Tsk - if you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son.


No Spark.. possibly not right for you. Theres no such thing as a spark though, dont write off emotions as "sparks" - put your finger on it propperly. Is it boring? What about it is not what you want?
51/50.. definitely not right for you, definitely not right for her, dont do it again, no, naughty (what im saying is its a bad idea for both of you).

Maybe the simple answer is that this isnt the 50:50 choice you want it to be. Keep fishing.

Being attracted to someone and being in a long term relationship with someone are totally different.

If you keep chasing that spark with someone who will destroy you over and over you will feel great in the short term and terrible in the long term.

You need to balance all of the other items in your life including how good you are for your partner instead of how good they are for you. Long term relationships take work and will always have points where you feel bored or stuck in a rut. If you love the person you will stick with it and push through.

I've been friends with my wife for 20 years and can tell you it's worth sticking it out through the rough times for long term happiness.

nvm

LOL Best advice I've seen in along time

The only way you are going to get over her is find someone with whom you have a bigger spark, a bigger connection, until then enjoy the sex.

Sounds like you need to move along. Not much you can do to change anyone and going back to the poison is will not help. Think with your brain not your head. Cause once they cheat they always cheat and nothing but pain and agony are in store for you. If you keep going down this road you may wind up with things you can't get rid of and don't want. What about this other girl does she deserve to be dragged along for the ride with you? Does she deserve the risk you are putting her in by continuing to see this other girl? Sounds like your no better then the one that you are here complaining about. Stop being a Shit Head and be honest with this other girl. At least that way she will know the risks of her actions and she can decide if she wants to risk disease or possible death because your still sleeping with your shit hole ex.

sry ladies