The vending machine drops a leaflet in the tray entitled "Life Saving Surgery for Beginners"
*Inserts Coin*
Vending Machine.
Started by -AR-Voidflake [772782] on in Fun & Games.
Posts archived: 138 / 138 posts (100%) · the total is Torn's reply count + the opening post at the last fetch
The vending machine drops a leaflet in the tray entitled "Life Saving Surgery for Beginners"
*Inserts Coin*
Out pops a cassette with "Very Best of KISS" printed across the top
*inserts coin*
The vending machine starts shaking, and pop something in the tray.
A Coin and a note "Let's just be friend..."
*inserts coin*
out pops a cute puppy... then tries to eat you
*inserts coin*
The vending machine returns your coin with a note saying "Please give me a few hours to recover from last night..."
*Inserts coin*
Anazopyreo sees and hears nothing after inserting his coin. After 3 minutes the coin returns. He reinserts the coin and waits 3 minutes before the same coin reruns. "A third and final time", he mutters and a charm slides into the tray.
It appears to be a Lucky Charm. A crunchy marshmallowy rainbow with a pot of gold.
*inserts coin*
You're given the ability to walk on walls, but you have to climb across the ground.
*inserts coin*
A genuine plastic light saber with an on and off switch clatters down into the vending tray. The switch is stuck in the on position and the sword glows a faint pink.
*inserts two headed coin*
The machine begins to shudder and whine. The coin accepting mechanism lights up a menacing red and shoots the fake coin back out. The machine explodes, leaving a huge crater in the ground, knocking all those near down to the earth. Chaos ensues. Looting, fires, karaoke. Society collapses. The story of The Machine is passed down through the verbal traditions over the course of a millennia as the human race rebuilds itself. In the year 3234, as "modern" society is just starting to regain its former level of technology, a lone engineer who has been obsessed with the Legend Of The Machine (LOTM) vows to make the legendary mechanical myth a reality. After 6 years of intense focus and dedication, The Machine is created, again, anew.
*inserts coin*
A box of chocolates with a thank you note attached to the lid
*inserts coin*
A single coin pops out. It might look the same as the one you put in, but you're quite sure the heads and tails have switched sides
*inserts coin*
A button drops out with the words "I win" embossed on it. You press the button but nothing happens. You turn it over to the back and read "For technical support call..." but the rest is faded.
*Inserts coin*
An orange mist fills the room quickly and once you take a breath a full breath, the air leaves the room as quickly as it appeared. You have no feeling of change.
Food and drink taste normal and don't spew from any holes. All senses check good.
It isn't until you sit down to type that you have issues. Every backspace gets you instant vulgarity sent to, well...anyone with an email. Enter gets your pictures randomly sent to, well...anyone with a cell phone. Backspace sends the porn you know you wiped clean to friends and family from your address book. I wonder what Escape does.
*inserts coin*
Your coin rolls out again. It's fine... You think... except for fuzzy mold growing at one side.
*inserts coin*
Nothing seems to happen. Disappointed, you turn around to see that everything is half the size it used to be.
*Inserts coin*
The lights dim and fills with a comfortable dew.
As you stand waiting, a patch of moss begins to crawl up your leg. You watch, stunned, as it reaches your knee.
Once you realize the path of the moss, you spin in circles and try to scrape it from your skin, but as you spin, the northmost side of your body continues to grow the moss as it now is swirling around you. It continues growing upwards at your northmost side of your body.
Last minute quick-thinking had you accidentally face north as the plant spread across your face.
*inserts coin*
A hole opens in the ground beneath you and you are shot down, flying through the earth in a glass-like tube, finally safely dropping out of the end in Tokyo, at the top of a skyscraper, with no one else around. Have fun getting home.
*inserts coin*
I man 6' 5" tall (Just under 2 meters), dressed in a black suit, white shirt, black tie and black fedora walks up behind you and taps you on the shoulder. When you turn to him he holds up his hand. You hold up your hand and he gives you a high- five then walks away.
*Inserts coin*
A dead horse.
*Inserts coin*
Whatya know?! Buy one, get one free.
The horse deposited at your feet was that gift horse. You'll be kicking this one for a long time.
The coin was retuned.
*inserts secondhand coin*