FINISHED please delete

This is my favorite joke and needs to be said out loud.

What do you call a fish with no eye.





Fsssshhh.



I went to a zoo with only 1 single dog.

It was a shih tzu.

Today begins my hell. Every year, about this time, some friends of mine do our "fitness challenge". The game is simple. We all weigh in. At the end of May, we will all weigh in again. Each person gives the person who loses the most weight, $1 per pound for the difference between himself and the winner. (For example, if I lose 20 lbs, and someone else loses 10 lbs, and I lose the most, they pay me $10). Now before my current job, I was a chef. I love to cook and eat delicious foods. Also, while I like sports, I hate "workouts". For the next roughly 100 days, I will be on a 1400 calorie per day diet, while running every single day, hopefully getting to 10 miles per day by the end. For the next 100 days, my life is going to be hell. I will barely be able to walk during the day, and I will be starving, but there will be Torn..... Since this is going to be my only solace left, some cool stuff would be nice :)

Its the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. No, says the neighbour. The seat is empty. This is incredible, said the man. Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it? The neighbour says, Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we havent been to together since we got married. Oh, Im so sorry to hear that. Thats terrible.But couldnt you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat? The man shakes his head. No, he says. Theyre all at the funeral.

timmy_trumpet was added to your blacklist.

THANK YOU, WE HAVE PLACED YOUR BOUNTY. START AGAIN - 10x bounties on him @650k per

THANK YOU, WE HAVE PLACED YOUR BOUNTY.

START AGAIN. X10

And I received that shit so the scammer got hosp again

What's next bro.

Tekken on the GBA is hard.



**** Gunjack

Sad to see any Torn player quitting the community. See below for my funny image - Of course we all know Champion is a dick.

[image: i.imgur.com]

Wish I was funny :(

*throws panties on the table*



those aren't mine o.o

oh and



Patient: Doctor Doctor! I feel like a bridge!

Doctor: Why's that?

Patient: I keep getting run over!

So...what's orange and sounds like a parrot???



...timmy_trumpet was added to your blacklist.



...Are you sure you wish to place 5 bounties of $200,000 on timmy_trumpet [1372561]?







...a carrot!



woof

funniest thing i seen all day r+ for the laugh

I'll be heading off to marines bootcamp in 7 months. Gotta be worth something :p

Who's guilty? Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts "quickly my husband is back" man get up, jumps out of the window and realizes, dammit I am the husband.



E2 :p

Legend says that for every dollar you give me, you will receive in real life.

timmy_trumpet's chance of winning

[image: profileimages.torn.com]







My chance of winning

[image: profileimages.torn.com]

need I say more... Before you can adjust your current loan of $1,121,250,000 you must pay the $18,671,672 in fees that are owed using the box below.

I saved a baby hedgehogs life today. It was stuck in a drain, and I fished him out and took him to the vets who said he was nearly dead and wouldn't have lasted another night... so yeah, I feel good :D

I'll show you my man boobs.

Your networth is $9b, I think you will manage to pay the $18m ;)