Heck

You must have been one of my students. I always threatened to tear out the last chapter of the novels my students read during science class.

haha jokes on you bc us old players had to take typing, we know the keys! keys? we don't need no stinking keys!


[image: i.imgur.com]

You can't Google the meaning of words(There goes about 3 different generations, including mine)

Your medulla doesn't work, you'll have to do all your body's involuntary functions manuall, ie. you'll have to breathe each breath yourself, and don't forget to swallow those salivas.

All the threads you are able to see are Diaboliques, ED's and DUDE (the troll version)

Every 85th step you take you are guaranteed to stub your toe

there is no wall to keep the *redacted* from coming in

Your alarm clock goes off every day. Even the weekends.
And your pasta is always overcooked.
And whenever you try to flip a page in a book, the pages get stuck together so you flip 2 pages instead of just 1.
And every roll of toilet paper you own is single ply.
And you have too many keys, and they all look the same.
And everyone you have a crush on is already in a relationship with someone who is better than you...
And your pillow is never quite as comfortable as the day you bought it.


Oh wait. That's not heck. That's just life.

You have to spend an eternity with this depressing guy

was the line about pasta too much?

What if you only take 84 steps per day? does it restart, like a step counter?

If you put down something and leave it unattended for 1 minute, you lose it.

You can only say words with 3 syllables or more. Test that vocabulary of yours.
For example-
Abhorrent
Belligerent
Consecutive
and (the worst of all that you will learn to love, hate, and fear) Dictionary. (Since you can't Google words anymore)

Insteas of no internet, it is always just barely good enough to do what you need, while taking way too much time. (Downloading something small? Boom takes like an hour. Loading a webpage? Freezes up every few seconds. Etc.)

Every time you eat something, you gain 10 times the amount of weight of the food you ate.

It is impossible to lose this weight.

You have to spend a whole week with ED.

Papercuts bleed incessantly. And they hurt like you squeezed lemon juice on them. A lot of papercuts, I think since dictionaries will quickly become popular

The temperature is always 10 degrees too hot or too cold no matter what you do.

All books, TV shows and movies always end on a cliff-hanger, and the finale always gets cancelled.

All music either skips/stutters every 30 seconds or flawlessly plays the same song for 3 hours straight.