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Torn's Messiah- Easter 2019

Started by Grif [882958] on in Community Events.

106 replies · 11.4k views · thread synced · 4 days ago · View on torn.com

Posts archived: 107 / 107 posts (100%) · the total is Torn's reply count + the opening post at the last fetch

Shades221 [2130263]
Evil-Duck will protec, he attac, but most importantly he quack! His words ring true from his humble shack, his hands are a perfect 10/10 to slap and our lives represent his quest for stats. Our lord and savoir already won, always providing radiation and the one true stepson!

Thou shalt invest in Evil Duck Candy Corp! "For every unsold stock you saunter the catwalk!"
Thous shalt abide by all sacred quackin... erm words! "Blessed be thy contradictions!"
Thouest shalt always have bread "Bread for the bread god!" Double fiber wheat taking top priority.
Kitman [302681]
Carrot [276687] is obviously Torn's Messiah

For I am he who helps lift the meak and fears not the strong. Always turning the other cheek no matter how many times I am beaten. I am Carrot!

Thou shalt not train.
Thou shalt not worry about things such has money nor extravagant items
Thou shalt take beatings by noobs so they can power level... For they are there future of Torn!

Mentions: Carrot [276687]

VitaGreta [1867016] Wiki Contributor
Django_Freeman [1881627], the purest of us all, Torn’s Messiah

Trust in this Freeman, you shall, since he noblest of us all walked the path of generousity blindfolded and through fire. Trusting endlessly the wisdom inside each one of us and thus guiding us how to trust with courage in everyone else. For this he shall be eternal within our souls.



Thou shalt not condem noobness through profil pictures.
Thou shalt find the strengh to guide, allways and ever.
Thou shalt never remain salty to those who apologised.

Mentions: Django_Freeman [1881627]

Nola [2103158]
Evil Duck for he went on a quest to South Africa for three years, then reemerged in Torn as the savior of our forums.
Azriclu [2213628]
Mannard(2227113) gave all the little newbs shiny knives and bikes to play with, and media for when we crashed and got ouchies
SandyFeline [2259889]
In a way, we're all the messiah. But I'm the most messiah-est. Therefore, my commandments reign above all others.

Thou shalt grant unto me a victory in this competition.
Thou shalt send me ridiculous stacks of cash.
Thou shalt never again type a sentence beginning with "Thou shalt".
Qyntifex [2231548]
He who sees the world and shares his view and voice with the people of Torn clearly deserve to be named the Messiah.

He has been forgotten by this generation, but deserves a new place in this world:

Photographer [8]

Mentions: Photographer [8]

OldSailor [2262378]
Oooohhhhh, Dear Lord.
       Look at all these blasphemers I  am going to have to burn up my energy praying for.... 
        Give me strength and a larger energy bar Jesus. 
                
Focus419 [2257885]
And on this most glorious of morning in Torn city, He shall hurt thy neighbor through mugging, through kidnapping and my adulterous sins fill your mind body and soul for we live in the most wonderful of cities. Bring donations to the church to be absolved and to feel absolute of thy self.Time is the true testament in Torn only it can tell the path of greatness you are on.Be wise be cautious and always stash your loot for he sees what goes on and be truthful it will be your savior. Happy Easter , and my peace be your.
OldSailor [2262378]
“Whoever blasphemes the name of the Lord shall surely be put to death. All the congregation shall stone him (he is going to get smoked up, or smoked out) The sojourner as well as the native, when he blasphemes the Name, shall be put to death” (v. 16).
- Leviticus 24:10–16
 

(old testament, for all those going to hell) 
soBad93 [2228343]
Wall_st is Torn's messiah:

Speaks against those in power, hated by the masses, willing to give anyone a chance, and it is by following in his footsteps I was "truly forgiven"

We even had our own salty Judas for a little while

Thou shalt show up to the chain fully stacked
Thou shalt read and know the good words of the T/G forums
Thou shalt not retrieve faction equipment from other members
KPCSlor [1557404]
Gotta call it as I see it and the best example of a Torn Messiah has got to be Evil-Duck

He's gone from Broke to Gold AK
He's gone from Gold AK to losing it all on a single bet
He's retired giving all his worldly items away and came back from Torn oblivion on more than one occasion
He has a large group of followers and preaches to all of Torn regularly
He's taken on the evil superpowers of Torn and dropped a Dirty Bombs of smiting against Relentless

Commandments:
Thou shalt always strive to be Lavish
Thou shalt never fall to evil temptations of cheating and loopholes
Thou shalt always make YouTube videos to keep thy general discussion topics entertaining
Thou shalt always strive to be the best regardless of stats or income level

[image: jklinko25.files.wordpress.com]

TheSecondComing [2004157]
For too long have I hidden in the shadows. It is I my children. I bring you only one commandment.

Thou shall disobey the ten commandments within the city of Torn.
Phaedrae [1166743]
SharkyFive

He has granted me with his bounty
He has granted me with his lifelong friendship
He has granted me with his wisdom and his bounty of education.

His commandments do unto others as they have proven they would do unto you.
Betray no confidence if they have not betrayed you or yours.
And thou has a choice in this life and the path you take is what you shall reap..
phLOx [451848]
From the book of Chedburn (New international version) 24:23-25


23 And lo the server did reply, "Error 522. Connection timed out".
24 And ye shall know the pain of losing precious energy to the DDOSers.
25 But fear thee not, for as it was written, so it shall be.
Our Lord and Saviour Davzz shall smite them with impunity, exclaiming "Hark, Cloudflare works!".

Amen
Zbamics [2240821]
And  I say
                            " Thou shalt do all CRIMES in a manner that giveth glory to TORN and all it stands for."
BooBooKittyPhuc [2200545]
She was sent to free us from the bitterness and guide us to the finger-lickin light of sugary goodness.
In a city of darkness and death, her tasty treats shine brightly through the shadows of despair and misery.
Exiled to the lake of fire and brimstone, her chocolaty temple ceases to melt.
Sally is the one true savior of Torn. She is our chocolate covered strawberry in a field of weeds.

All hail Sally, The Protector of Sweet and The Champion of Sour!

Commandments of Sally:

Thou shalt not be closed for more than one day after a nuke has been dropped outside
Thou shall always serve the tastiest of sweets at an affordable price
Thou shall never refuse service to customers based on their criminal records
ultraman [55651]
King Ace is the father, the son the holy ghost.

-He will one day return to Torn
-His legacy of smartass is ever lasting
-There have been many false idols, but no one has come close to replacing him