Text-based Adventure

Luckily, the midgets are retarded, and you blend in nicely. They have the most amazing shoelaces. A circle jerk is beginning. Oh, Gods! What is this nightmare!?

> look in pouch for a weapon. (god this has gone down hill so fast)

You pull out your trusty fishing net, throw it on the group of midgets, jump out the window, and exit the house, sincerely hoping never to encounter such idiocy again.

You begin walking away from the house and see what looks like a small village in the distance.

> walk to village

Your legs grow tired... throat parched and tummy grumbly... sure could go for a peanutbutter and ketchup salad right now. The village must be at least 200 meters away, and it's a cold night, and rough terrain. the memories will last forever, but the sounds of midget masturbation are long since gone. The bag has everything you need. Do you set camp? Or do you make haste to the village? There is no telling if the shops are open... but surely there is a tavern for travelers? The town is small, but maybe they have a warming hearth, at the least. What do you do?

Please keep the scenarios pg-13, and ideally sophisticated.

> go to village

You begin your walk to the village. You grow tired so you take a rest on a big rock it seems flat enought to rest. You assume it's comfy and get to sleep with ease. You wake up and continue to the village. You finally arrive at the village.

So ...circle jerk is okay? But to mention masturbation is not? I'm setting a mood, and going on what has been said... yall have fun. I'm out.

>unleash your true self and burn the village down

>unleash your true self and burn the village down
>Burn the left house
>Knock the blue house


*Click
>Knock the blue house

... you pause for a moment as you hesitate the air near the house is palpable. you swallow a lump in your throat forms as you reach up and knock on the blue house. then a flash like a small fire builds in you you can feel the rage building boiling up to its zenith. you begin to kick the blue house in all its blue stupid blueness. some people come out of the left house to see the ruckus. you continue unabated striking over and over trying to crush the side panels. a midget flings up the window "What in the sam hill is going on i am trying to get groovy in here you off your rocker?" the air smells of sex and sweaty midgets. the smell sickens you.

good idea, multiple options R+


>unleash your true self and freeze all midgets.
>freeze the midget in the blue house.
>knock on the left house.

[please choose one of the above]

>freeze the midget in the blue house.

Bad decision my friend, Sadly the midget clamps onto your leg and pulls at the skin. You have now contracted a disease due to infection.

Further actions include:
>Screaming in pain.
>Swatting at the Midget.
>Find the nearest Doctor.
>Solid Snake it. (Cover yourself with a useless object and pray no one sees you).

[please do be more careful around tiny people my friend]

>Solid Snake it.

You try solid snake-ing it, but you blackout and wake up in a room with three items, an axe, a medkit, and a bottle of vodka, but if you take one the others will burn
Choose wisely:
>cut the infected leg with the axe
>heal the leg with the medkit
>pour vodka on the infection

>You call swaggersouls to finish the job
>Buys extra vodka from your local boi Boris
>Drinks it together with Filthyfrank while patching up

You pull a extra life and an invisibility cloak out of the needful things bag, say f**k all yall. Invisible, and totally healed, you reach back into the bagg 3 times and pull out your besties.

Swaggersouls, Filthyfrank, and your local boi Boris all stand before you.

What now?

>ask for and accept Swaggersouls help.
>ask for and accept Filthyfanks help.
>ask for and accept your local bio Boris's help.
>feed on all three souls and figure it out as you go, now that you are more powerful.

>ask for and accept FilthyFanks help

Filthy frank walks out an invisible door, and you obligingly follow