Red and green decorate the streets, While residents haul Christmas trees.
However, one aspect of Torn, that makes citizens grumble and holler, Is the CT that bugs out, so very often.
One may think that writing poems is easy, Well, guess what? Its not. I'm trying to make everything rhyme Yet failing so miserably.
So I'm going to hang the mistletoe, To contribute in the spirit of Christmas. But be warned, instead of doing indecent acts, Imma stab out your f*cking toe.
Maybe this year Christmas town started late, But thanks to iribuya less steps it will take to find all the presents and chests with the locks so Santa might really run out the stocks.
Whoever though that this will be fun, Would now find me neck-deep searching the dump. Mountains of bricks and dozens of roses Hide secret items and masks with red noses.
Remember that recently we each got a Dong Now listen real carefully since it wont last for long. It's time for the miracle whispers to hear - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Santa came down The chimney with care. Below was the fire, With a steaming hot flare. As Santa squirmed down, And his bottom was burned. He threw down the presents, And simply turned. His reindeer blew The fire out. And that's when we heard him Let out a shout. He woke up the neighbors, We saw him leave. That's why there's no fire, On Christmas Eve.
You're a mean one, Mr. Duke, You're Breaking People's knees Making fight level 50's while I'm only 3 Mr. DUUUUKKKKKEEE You're the thing of nightmares, that gives me quite a spoooook
You're a vile one, Mr. Duke, The idolized king of crime Making awful one-way bets with my life on the line Mr. DUUUUKKKKKEEE I wouldn't fight you ever, even flying a chinooooooook
You a brute man, Mr. Duke, Bout' to shoot me with a Gat I would rather try to kill myself than have you make me kiss a bat. Mr. DUUUUKKKKKEEE You could kill anyone, even when threatened with nuuuuuuuukes
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!! (I hoped you liked it this took me a while)
It's been a long year in Torn The first since I was born I got married twice Joined a faction thrice I haven't had time to be forlorn
A year ago in Christmas Town I found a gnome I took it home I couldn't sell it But I sure can smell it
The gnome invited his cousins in Hospitality is not a sin And although they don't take up much space Gnomes they are a mischievous race
In my life I do like order But my spouse he is a hoarder Over fifteen hundred trailers The wheels all removed Trailers everywhere It's like he just don't care The PI is a trailer park And a gnome in every one
Poppins drugs left and right. Getting ready for the night. Money to be made. In Christmas town I've saved.
Watching people stalk their Bazar with goodies. Buy and mug with stealth throu the night. Packing myself full of energy every day. Mugging left and right so many noobs to slay.
Watching the town of money slowly expand. Robbing the poor fools in torn and buying every can. Bulking up in the gym as my stats begin to climb. You all better watch out now it's Christmas time.
Sending parcels to all of my friends. Some packed with goods others with tricks. This year of torn has gone by so quick. Watching many bombs dropped on a faction of pricks.
Now it's time for these noobs to learn. In money land is full of gold. For those old heads you know of this day. Come forth all you noobs to the night of silent slay.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the city, Not a creature was stirring, not even a kitty, Cos every mammal in the whole of Torn Had fled or died, or somehow was gorn.
Cos the war against relentless had reached a new height, and every faction in town aimed its sights, And simultaneously set off a dirty nuke. But look! From the sea! Godzilla? No, DUKE!
This monstrous creature steps forth and arises growing through various increasing sizes and stomps through the town knocking things with a bump as he heads to his natural home, the dump.
Once there he deposits thousands of things. he drops them and chucks them and some even flings. But oh dear! What's this? A great item flies down, and destroys the entirety of Christmastown.
Everything this torn year has made me sick I can't even understand why my old faction gave me the kick Maybe cause the new leader was just a prick Or maybe I couldn't see I was being a dick
Factionless and therefore homeless I try my luck Posting my stats on the forums hoping someones looking for a cuck Trust me, I'm nice, I won't even buck Just looking for a new home so I don't suck
Helvete decided to take the chance on me Have faith in me and you will see How much stronnker I can be Even with LSD, yours truly, Rogue_Mercenary
May the best wishes turn into the finest poem, May the moonlight glows among the maples forest, May the smell of laurus nobilis spread around the back yard, May the dreams never be waken up during the Xmax.
Shall we all celeberate in Torn, Shall we all be grateful in Torn, Shall we all be smiling in Torn, Because of the Xmax is approaching Torn.
At last, wish everyone have a lovely Xmax, SuperMaxiiii [2042563] 2019
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the jail notan inmate was stirring cause no one made bail The inmates were tucked all tight in their beds while visions of lollopos danced in their heads. When all of a sudden the cell door popped and ther stood Santana with a lock in a sock. "Which one of you bitches stole my sleigh? I'm taking it back befe Christmas day!" The inmates jumped straight out of their beds quicker than when the nurse calls for meds. No one said a word as they all stood in shock. That was when Santa swung his lock in a sock. They looked at each other and all knew the deal they were in trouble cause this Santa was real. "It was him yes him over there the one with the big bush of nappy ass hair! The man stepped back for sure he was shook, for he'd been to prison and had his ass took! "Yeah Santa I did it but it wasn't just me. Just look at my papers I had a co'd! Santa looked at his papers and saw this was true but all Santa said is " that's bad news for you. Unless you can tell me were my sleigh is stached. Im talking restitution and I don't mean cash!" Santa unzipped his pants and grabbed the man tight and then Santa told him "You better not bite!. And then Santa laughed and said not me you queer. Your going to take on all the Reindeer!" The man cried out "This cannot be right!!!" but he played for death that Christmas eve night. Now you may think this is bullshit or doubt this is true but I stole Santa's sleigh and I blamed that shit on you!
Twas the night before christmas and all through Torn City. Everyone was bitching about Christmas Town , making Chedburn feel shitty. Then out steps Duke with his old wrinkly ass, he starts dropping valuables randomly in the trash. I've yet to find anything of value , nothing worth too much cash. Come 2020 I'm gonna have to sell my torn ass . So I'm taking all offers, hand outs and torn bucks . 100 for a handy 300 for the sucks.