Judge Doom and Awsmn im glad uz have that self-confidence not all do though i hope through forums like this we can support those in need.
Btw im short so i need a step ladder to reach the high shelf lol
Been through it. Would highly, highly recommend a book called 'Models' by Mark Manson.
Your partner told you she doesn't love you, so move on and get a better partner. You probably need to do some work on yourself before you can attract a higher quality partner. Your partner should be more invested in you than you are in her.
Best of luck, brother.
Sorry to hear that but here’s the truth.
I just broke up with my ldr partner.
1) dont speak on behalf of her. That’s what you think because you have that little hope in you. You are trying to rationalised her the way you want it to be.
2) that little hope will crash you worst than how it is now because her feeling does not reciprocate to yours
3) she wants to be friends and that’s the nicest thing she can offer. Because that doesn’t come easy
dont dwell, move on. There are many more girls out there that wont let go of u.
Eh thanks, prolly will try to read this too
Love is worth fighting for.
You might not win, but don't go down without a fight. If she doesn't love you, you're right, it's probably as over as it's going to be. I don't recommend the friend path because, though she thinks it's the nicest thing she can offer, it can be insanely cruel. It's a path for perpetual hope and heartbreak.
I lost the love of my life because of my own actions. She maintained that we could be friends. Later, she invited me to her wedding. It felt like salt in a wound. I asked her why she would invite me. She said, Because we're friends." I still loved her enough for that to cut like a dagger.
Years later it still doesn't hurt any less and I wish I had fought harder when I was on the brink of losing her.
You are not a fool for wanting to try. You're a fool if you don't. You are also a fool if you think you can be friends with someone you love, who doesn't love you back. It is immeasurably painful.
Yes, I wanna try and I will try but I believe that it'll be better if I first become better myself.
I talked to her and she was like yeah she's happier being single, like she doesnt feel the need of anyone and it kinda made me insecure but I believe insecurity means that I love her. But this insecurity doesn't let me sleep at night and I keep on forming stupid situations in my head.
And no, I don't wanna be just friends with her, I'm just giving her some time to be herself and even though she says that she's fine alone but I will always be there for her. :)
Insecurity is a sign that you need to love yourself more. Go to therapy, get yourself sorted out, then take your sorted out self back out into the world to find a match with someone who does want to be with you.
Think about it this way: They are happier without you...if you actually love them (not just the idea of them) why would you ever strive to make them unhappy?
When she says that she's happier being single, I think that's a clear sign for you to work on yourself and move on. I always believe that if that person is ultimately right for you, they shouldn't have a reason to say that they feel more "free" or "happier" being alone and without you.
It just means that 1) she is not that into you, 2) she may have her own baggages and things she need to work on herself alone. Question is, would you be able to give her that space and time, and would you be able to give yourself the same?
I completely agree with The_Chad, you need to love yourself more, understand more about yourself and not dump these energy and love onto someone else who may not be on the same page as you. It is extremely painful and tempting to want to "be there" for her, but try to give yourself more of that love and remember why the relationship ended in the first place.
Absolutely this 100% especially #1 don't speak on behalf of her.
Some quote I read one time and never forgot was like "Even after 60 years sleeping in the same bed with your husband/wife, you still can't read their mind to understand what they really think, or feel precisely how they feel." Nobody can read minds.
In the end all you can work on is yourself, and your situation, and where you stand, and make yourself attractive - to yourself and attractive to others. If she isn't around for that - for separate reasons, or related to you - then you gotta think about quitting that shit and eventually moving on.
When my LDR suddenly broke up with me some years ago I was like a zombie, and going to work was the only thing to distract me from feeling so heartbroken. At lunch breaks I just cried in the empty street and not hungry for like 6 weeks before I could force myself to eat without vomiting lol. I didn't even enjoy it and I LOVE food, but because of this, I knew I had to pull myself out of that hole in rock bottom.
This was the result of #2 like Arizona said. Much better to detach if the option is available, don't hang around for people who don't reciprocate.
Thank you all!
I have started to detach myself from her. Like earlier I would try to start conversations but now I don't do. I don't even think much about her and am focussing on my happiness. I'm also talking to a councillor and it feels great and now I just wish to work on myself. thank you all again! :)
Glad to hear it.
Keep in mind, it is a winding road with lots of ups and downs, Hang in there and good luck.