"Ace" the word rings in my head and I freeze.
"Uh,let me know when your done" I call from the dour way of the bedroom
Swiftly closing the door I take a couple deep breaths in attempt to calm my anxiety.
I hear the door close as I go through the cabinet finding some canned tuna.
"This'll do" I pour the contents on a bowl and bring it to Ace.
He looks calm as he sits by the door.
"Hey buddy..." I place the bowl in front of him and he immediately starts to eat.
"I know buddy." I pet him and watch him eat.
I soon get up and close the door behind me wondering if he'll be okay.
I sigh and walk towards the bedroom.
I open the door slowly. Feeling anxious and worried.
"Maddy?" I call for her.
"Yeah?" I respond from the bedroom
"Is Ace in the kitchen?" I ask scanning the area around me.
It felt so foreign to fear my dog but I couldent control my feelings.
I noticed some pills sitting on the floor and resist the urge to down them.
Grabbing them I slip the in my pocket instinctively and fight yet another battle wit has myself before setting them back down on the ground in front of me.
"No he's in the bathroom. Eating"
I say before opening the door to see her.
She looked scared and anxious.
Which made me remember the times I was feeling just like that.
It was the year I moved here. In this house. The walls felt strange, yet a bit comforting. They kept me safe from my past. But all the concrete in the world wouldn't keep me safe from my memories. My own thoughts and emotions. During the years this house became friendlier.
Right now it felt like a home. It hadn't felt like this before. I knew it was because of having Maddy here with me.
I felt strong enough to walk up to her and sat on the bed.
"Would you sit down with me?" I asked her kindly.
"Sure" I reply obvious anxiousness in my tone.
I sit beside him worried that he saw what I had done.
I held my breath waiting.
She looked like she was troubled by something. I couldn't tell what it was but I wanted to help.
I wrapped my arm around her back and looked at her.
Thinking of what I could say to ease her anxiety I wait for her to start speaking while I rub her back.
No secrets I had said,trust I had said.
But what was this?
Why couldent I form the words that would show my trust?
I stayed silent trying to remember how to speak.
The awkwardness is the room grew by the second as my voice left me.The silence was deafening and I longed for a way to escape this situation.
"Trust" a voice in my mind sneered
"Bandaids and lies aren't permanent fixes" it spoke
No,but they allow time to heal,I reasoned with it.
"Keep lying to yourself girl,but soon your going to snap.When that happens you won't be fixable let alone worth it"
I stared at the spot where the pills were forgetting that Miik was there.
"Go on" the voice urged and I yelled my frustration.
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU F*CKIG B*ITCH! "
"We will always be here,we are you demons you can't get rid of us" the presence of the voice faded in my mind and my ears rung.
I watched Maddy as she seemed more anxious than ever.
"Maddy?" I asked as i took her hand.
She didn't seem to respond.
In the moment i turned her head towards me and looked her in the eyes.
My heart screamed in what seemed like a language i didn't understand.
I had to use all my powers to control myself.
"Talk to me please" i whispered.
Shaking I pointed to the floor where I had put the pills unable to return his gaze.
Had I taken them he would have taken me to the hospital and then I wounderstand be asked where I got the drugs and risk getting him in trouble.A silent tear washed down my cheek dripping onto his hand as his gaze followed my finger.
I look at the pills on the floor and realize what she meant.
How did i ever leave them there?
Didn't i have any common sense at all?
Stupid!
I sigh and hug Maddy.
"I'm sorry i left them there"
I suddenly get even more worried.
"Did you take any?" I ask her with a shaky voice.
"N-no" I replied
" you should have" the voice filled my mind
"No" I said to it aloud
"keep it up a soon he won't even care" the voice chimed
It had hit a sensitive spot,but everyone got fead up with me so why wouldent he?
I moved my head out of his hand and sighed.
As soon as she said "no" i felt relieved.
I wrap my arms around her and embrace her tightly.
Trying to hide my shakiness i squeeze her tighter.
I felt a tear fall down my face.
Why is this so damn hard? A voice inside me asks.
Yet it feels so good.
My heart races again.
I struggle to find the right words again.
Are you still hungry? No that's stupid. Are you hurt? Of course she is, you're squeezing her too hard. I... Those words. I Lov... No. Go on... I...
"I..." I say out loud stuttering and choking on words.
I wanted to say something important to her but I felt something stop me
"I..."
Go on...
"I'm worried" i managed to say.
Stupid. That's not what you were supposed to say to her.
Is this some sort of kinky role play? Or am I in the wrong place?
'Worried' the word was simple yet straight to the point.
Miik had always been worried,I mean drama always seemed to follow me around.
Yet that simple sentence struck deep.
Noone had ever been concerned about me before,well at least not visibly.
"That's the first time I've heard that sentence" I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and gaze at him fondly.
Please do not post
I was genuinely surprised to hear Maddy say that.
"Really?" I mumbled and looked at her.
To be honest she was the first person i was ever worried about like this.
I felt a wave of emotions over me like a tidal wave hitting the shore washing away all reason and leaving only... Love?
"I love you!" I said out loud and almost shouted it.
I managed to startle myself a bit and for a second i wanted to take it back.
Go on... A voice said again.
So I did. I looked at her in the eyes and said it again.
I felt more scared than ever.
i am roleplaying as a person saying get this off trending here i will even make a character
Gender: Attack helicopter cyclops terrorist
likes: Arial bombardments, crowd control, Dropping the big nuke infiltrating women's right movement marches as a gay dude and enjoying scenery
Dislikes: Roleplay, blue cheese, joe biden, Trains, Elephants
[image: encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com] now outa my trending
Quit posting if u want this off ur trending
As a Christian I ask u to respect my religion and not use the name of God in vain