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Break Ups

Started by ScarredReaper [2726683] on in General Non-related.

9 replies · 139 views · thread synced · 5 days ago · View on torn.com
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ScarredReaper [2726683]
Is it normal to be scared of losing someone so you dump them? like why would a dude break up with a girl who's made him happier than he has ever been, someone who he fell for quicker than anyone else? just because some chick you liked in middle school suddenly wants you? she didn't like you before you got hot do you really think her feelings are genuine? she didn't even have a conversation with you before she said she liked you but silly you believe she wants more than just your body? you dump the love of you life just to immediately start dating someone else?
DrZed [237786]
Sound like you both are young and he is confused and is just making up excuses. I would say try to move past it sure it may hurt for a bit and you may feel betrayed but do not dwell on it or it may consume you. You are better off without someone that really does not care about you. Beyond anything else do not take him back when he begs in a couple of months when things do not work out with her.
Jonezee [2726478]
Normal but not rational... psychologists would call it self-sabotage .... you have 'predicted the future' as it stands through vulnerable feelings and insecurity rather than keeping your cool and living it to see if it really was an issue and communicating concerns with each other in a loving way to build together
Fermion [2691036] Officer Officer
I'm male, even if my torn gender is female rn (because of a rad maid outfit initially, and now because I suspect it makes for a smaller target xD)

This has happened to s lot of my female friends. Surprising huge number lol. They emotionally invest, then the dude thinks it's too much and leaves them in shambles with stupid reasons. Starting dating another girl is def on the more cruel end of the spectrum, but on the whole, I think it's more related to their issues, that they'd have to fix by themselves, not something you did. Don't scramble for answers on why. I think the answers mostly always a mix of anxiety, negative self image that they may start projecting on you, self sabotage, whatever. I rarely see people acting on actual malicious impulses, but they could be there . Stay strong and f**k that dude. Dating someone else right after/during a relationship is definitely bridge burning behaviour. You'll find someone much better, and till then be happy on your own.
Lifecheese [2486313]
First of all, it's important to accept that he is allowed to move on. In your heart and mind, give him permission to do that and then let him go. The most important reason to do this is so that you can begin to see your relationship with him for what it has been, not for what you wanted it to be. If you don't give him permission to move on and accept it, you're not going to see things clearly enough if and when he comes crawling back.

Second, good riddance. If this is the sort of decisions he is liable to make, are you really going to argue that you would be better off spending the rest of your life with him? Of course not! So move on and go find someone who is more mature and more trustworthy.
SirRence [2720185]
Though what happened is painful, you have to move on. At least he revealed his true colors. If he really loved you, he would have stayed. You don't deserve him. I hope you find someone who will love you truly and can't live without you.
ACCOUNT_CLOSED [2670493]
Maybe he wasnt really that happy then. Or its a case of self-sabotage. People do that when they unknowingly think they dont deserve the happiness and that is because they dont love themselves enough. He either wasnt really happy as you thought or he has personal issues that he may not even be aware of. Sometimes people only get to the bottom of their issues when they are much older.

Just accept it and move on. You will only depress yourself with all these questions of why who what when where. Younger people always make the mistake of thinking that the person they just lost, was their soulmate for some reason. There are vast amountd of wonderful people out there. As you get older you will meet more and more of them.

Dont be hung up on him and dont try and figure out why he is doing what he is doing and dont try and dictate what you think he should be doing. The sooner you get over him the better and the fastest way to do this is to stop contacting him and stop viewing his social media.

The next guy will be much better. And the next one after him even better. And the next one even better. Whatevee happens it either works out or you find someone even better. Stay single for a while and find your own zen. Dont be obsessed with the idea to be in love the whole time and learn to enjoy your own company.