Birthday Thread

I'm not exactly sure where to post this, so feel free to move it where it's supposed to be.

Today is my 50th birthday. I've lived half a century and i have nothing to show for it. I've been stuck in a rut for the last 32 years and I'm tired of it. I've suffered from depression for almost all of that time, yet i have no one to talk to. The reason I'm telling you this, is because I'm safety hidden away from you guys and I'll probably never see you again.

I'm surrounded by people that i wish would leave me alone and yet, they're always there. I have no where to turn and no one to lean on. Sometimes I'm tired of being the strong one, and yet, i feel like i have no choice. I feel like my life is a lot of grief with no outlet.

I don't mean to trouble you guys with my problem, yet i have no one else to talk to. I know that most of you couldn't care less and will probably think this is a shit post and act accordingly.

I thank you for the time you took reading this and i appreciate you spending time doing so.

You know how everything can seem funnier when you're drunk than it really is? Depression works like that except in reverse. That is the silver lining to chronic depression: you can literally be assured that the world and your lot in it are always better than they seem. Optimism can be a fool's curse that lures them into being an eternal failure, and while depression can be a lead weight that holds us back, it can also be a sort of reality check so long as we remember that life is always better than how it looks because our goggles are always shaded black. You feel you have nothing to show yourself, but perhaps you've been measuring yourself with the wrong scale. Like the old quote attributed to Einstein says, "... if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday, Barney!

Dude, I've been there. It absolutely blows. The people who look invincible sometimes are not.
What helped me out is breaking the pattern one step at a time. It might not be a big thing all at once, but small things that I changed to get out of my own rut.

I don't have much way of celebrating your bday irl, but I'll send you something in torn to help celebrate. Maybe this is the year!

GGs,
Rainbowcatmeow

Hope is the only thing that has allowed me to hold it together in the past. Without hope for a better future we have nothing. Depression runs in my family and family extinction events seem to happen quarterly. I am one of three adult sibling whose childhood still holds them in a state of permanent purgatory unable to grab a hold of my life and always seeming to be spinning my wheels. I stay hopeful for the day when it all comes together and I can find a clear path for my future. Good luck and stay hopeful. Not 50 yet, but no spring chicken lol. Happy Birthday!

00:55:54 - 20/07/22 rainbowcatmeow sent 1x Birthday Present to you with the message: HAPPY BIRTHDAY. KEEP AT IT

Thanks, i loved it and i will.

Imagine a world where the comet missed, Dinos rule and monkeys died out. It's the butterfly effect, and happens every day.
You have every chance we all do, you just need to reach out and grab it.

Life is just rough sometimes, I get feeling the stuck in a rut thing for sure. Happy Birthday though!

First of all...Happy Birthday Barney and congratulations on reaching an amazing and wonderful milestone. 50 years is a great achievement and you should receive all the love and attention possible from your family and friends for succeeding in your life journey to this point.

Secondly, while you may feel like you're not appreciated and cared about, based upon how you described yourself, you are your family's rock and foundation. Foundations are never really thought of....I mean heck....we step on them, put our stuff on top of them and unless they are broken...we don't really think about them. Yet....they keep the house from falling down...

I've never met you...I don't know you...but based upon the tone of what you wrote, you strike me as someone who gives of himself and just needs a hug sometimes. <3

Thank you for posting your thoughts and sharing your feelings. I'm adding you as a friend and you are always welcome to message me if you need a sympathetic ear.

Here's to a fun and fantastic next 50 years!! Load image: smiley

Yeah, congrats on reaching 50. I dare you to do it again.

I didn't go through your experiences nor do I understand you from a 2-para explanation. I am not a psychiatrist nor am I an all-knowing sage. I am 27, so almost half your age.

But I did go through depression, twice, for 6 months and a year. I never visited a psychiatrist. I recovered with the help of my parents once, myself once. I just wanted to share what I realized.

1) I hear a lot of young people, late teens or early twenties, say they are in depression for silly reasons. I am sorry but that's not depression. You are just sad. Depression is a big word. It's a state where you question your existence and your mind can't even think properly. It's not a conscious state. It comes sub-consciously.

2) It comes mostly from expectations - of other people or of yourself, on you. Expectations are a burden. They force you into doing something you originally didn't want to, or couldn't, resulting in failure, leading to depression.

3) People are mostly stupid. If you have any slight bit of intelligence, you should have realized this by now. There are very few people with common sense out there. These people now form societies and have rules and expectations from you.

4) You don't know the reason for your existence - unless you believe strongly in some religion. There is no proof or reason as to why you exist and what you are supposed to do. All these are told to you by people who, as previously pointed out, are usually stupid.

5) So, you know what, just f**k it. Don't care. Doesn't matter. The goal is for you yourself to be happy. If you can, make others happy. Else, you just be happy. Need to get into good college? Doesn't matter. Need a good job? Don't care. Need to be the strong one? Don't need to. Just focus on trying to be happy. Understand that having expectations is a burden. Need to do this, need to do that - I am sorry, you don't. Just do what you want to. Your life, your rules. Be free. So what if people criticize you? So what if your family breaks? Instead, you want yourself to be broken? Self first, immediate family next, other important people later. So what if your lover moves away? Your reason for existence is for you to be happy. The others are just side-characters in your movie. Without you, there's no movie.

It makes you free. This kind of freedom is exhilarating. All the noise from other people just becomes that - noise that you can tune out. I am currently in the process of trying to create a teacher-free education system for kids who can't afford. People say I'm wasting my life. People say I am trying the impossible. People say I am better off doing a proper job. I can't do it if I care about what the society says. I can only do it if I care about what I want. I had a serious accident this april. I just laughed it off. That's just a small setback. In my movie, I'm the hero. All these setbacks go away eventually.

These are just some things I realized. May be wrong, may be right. Just giving my perspective. Your choice on what to take from it. Originally, I wanted to message the poster directly, but I thought there are a lot of people who might be struggling and this might help.

I stopped celebrating my birthdays for 6 years now. It's just another day. You were born on this day that year, not so special. Instead, I remember the days that I changed for the better. December 20th,2020 is the day I came out of my depression. I consider that my birthday. Since this is originally a birthday post, just thought I would mention.

Read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. Also happy birthday, also see a therapist to treat your depression. If you don't like people you are surrounded by, change scenery, you aren't a Tree.

Also it's "couldn't care less", hth.

Happy birthday man, I hope life gets better for you man.

Firstly, happy birthday.

I'd love to say I know exactly what you're going through, but truthfully, I don't. Noone truly can. But I've been in a similar place. Feeling like it's all on you, and you're utterly exhausted...but it's ok to not always be the strong one. Even if that means venting to a stranger, I've found. You can and should give yourself a moment to just. well, deal. One thing about PT is that I'm sure you can always find an ear there; feel free to hit me up as well (open offer, readers).

Do what you have to do to keep fighting, because the light will come, even if you can't see it now.

Happy birthday dude. I’ve had persistent depression since I was a kid and off-the-charts extremely severe depression for the past two years, so you know, I’ll probably end up in a similar place as you in a couple decades lol. Idk man, if life isn’t working for you, just throw everything out and try something else, you know? Shit sucks but there’s ways to make it suck less if you look for them. Go wild. It’ll be hard because of the inertia of staying stagnant for 32 years but I’d say it’s worth a shot.

Happy birthday! I hope things look up for you.

Happy Birthday

I'm leaving Torn so won't be much help to you as a friend.
Learning music is good just 15 to 30 minutes a day can bring improvement from absolute beginner building on it 6 months and you feel the difference.

All the Best from me also. To me 50 is Young haha.

As u can see from the wonderful comments, you are not alone. There are many people with similar problems in Life, and they have Empathy, cause they lived similar scenarios. Only if one is brave enough to let the mask fall, is it possible to see who is behind that profile.

I know many People who helped me with my alcoholic demons over the years here. A few even talked to me on the Phone, but that's only possible if you let them know. Sure some people will allways take the piss out of you, but the few that listen, are worth it.

I am 57 and almost 11 months sober now. I was/am in longterm rehab for almost a 1 year now. Starting my new Job 1st. August. Infact starting my new life.

I don't know exactly what your demons are, but whatever they are, there is a way Out. I don't want to start giving you wise Life tips, but one thing i do want to say to YOU;

Falling down is human.
Not getting back up is evil.
Getting back up is divine.

God bless you " Young Man " haha, i still got humour, that's very very important, to laugh at others, to laugh with others and most important to laugh at Yourself.

:)