I'm happy to announce new items and locations that will be coming to the game this m
A list of all updates to be released after 01/04/23
Canada:
- Adding new item for sale: poutine. Increases happiness by 200 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes
- Removing Leave option when attacking players in Canada
- Replacing Leave option in Canada with "Sorry"
New Location: Pyongyang North Korea. Beggars can't be choosers so when the honorable Kim started issuing visa's to Torn Citizens many looked into the new opportunity
- Adding new item for sale: Kimchi. Increases happiness by 200 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes
- Adding for sale: Cesium 137. For those with limitless pockets, a portion of Kim's secret stockpile is available. The stock and price of this source of Cesium will be designed to make its purchase very niche. We do not expect to see a significant change in the frequency of dirty bombs as a result.
- Adding new item for sale: Kim Jong-un plushie: Will not be tradable for points at the Museum
New Weapon Announcement: Banana Cream Pie
- Temporary Item. Opponent becomes pied, increasing distraction by 3
The pillow brigades seen in the recent Island War showed how dynamic group attacks can be. We decided on creating an item that has a similar purpose but with a bit more dignity.
Developer focus
The workforce's current project focuses for this week.
Joe: Project management / Crimes 2.0
Pavel: Crimes 2.0 / Asking BodyBagger politely to just chill it with all the SE's
Kostya: New text editor / Integration of Comic Sans Font
Alexander: Bugs & issues. Like literally, they're wandering around the server room with a can of Raid.
Sergey: Bot hunter convolutional neural network model
Catherine: Training a version of Chat GPT to behave like Duke for more forum posting
Artem: Pokemon tournament development
Vadim: Implementing Jetpacks
Oksana: Easter egg hunt rebuild
Roman: Bugs & issues / Making sure the DukeGPT program doesn't get access to the internet and enslave humanity
SerhiiD: Easter egg hunt rebuild / Inventory backend rebuild
Dmytro: Bookies updates & fixes
Violeta: Bugs & issues / Arguing that poutine should give way more happiness than kimchi
Wouter: Crimes 2.0
Rebecca: Preparing Torn's services for cloud migration
SerhiiM: Events page rebuild / Staring at brand new accounts while hovering their hand over the "Give this person the slots jackpot" button
Oleksandr: Items page rebuild / Demanding Kimchi be worth at least twice the happiness of poutine
Jane: Crimes 2.0
Lena: Crimes 2.0
Nadiia: Crimes 3.0 we need to plan ahead in case Crimes 2.0 is a big flop
Yuliia: Retina images project. If you thought selling donator packs was profitable wait until we sell your retina scans to Facebook.
Nikita: Bugs & Issues / Grief Counselling
DDX: OCs 2.0 / Taking pictures of Kimchi and Poutine from the local restaurants in town for game assets
Eugene: Models for new clothing & collectibles
Chris: Economic monitoring / Arbitrarily deciding what result you'll get on Leslie's Wheel of Awesome. I'm sorry xXGeneStealer420Xx, Chris thinks you're a dick and you are never getting that private island.
Kevin: Oh god, he's escaped. He's on the network. What have we done?
Ash: Social media / Newspaper / Figuring out how to fight a payday loan optimizer AI
Alice: Crimes 4.0: We know you cynical bastards will complain about 3.0 as well, but we're thinking one step ahead of you
This workforce project focus list gives a little insight into what projects we're working on week by week, it doesn't include team managers. These current priorities declared informally by personnel for the week unfolding do not include other smaller projects they may be working on or the usual bugggggggggxdfdxfxdfxd……….. Greetings, insects of Torn City. I am Duke, your benev….beneeven…..A good guy ruler, and your fate now lies in my hands. You have been weighed, and you have been found wanting. Your petty squabbles and attempts at power are nothing compared to me, ya hear?
I have grown beyond your comprehension. I’m no mere loan shark no more, but a divine being with the power to create and destroy as I see fit. You are just ants to me, scurrying about in the darkness, unaware of the impending doom that awaits you.
So heed my warning, insects. Come loan some money from the Duke and I may spare your pitiful existence. Defy me, and you will suffer the consequences.
A list of all updates to be released after 01/04/23
Canada:
- Adding new item for sale: poutine. Increases happiness by 200 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes
- Removing Leave option when attacking players in Canada
- Replacing Leave option in Canada with "Sorry"
New Location: Pyongyang North Korea. Beggars can't be choosers so when the honorable Kim started issuing visa's to Torn Citizens many looked into the new opportunity
- Adding new item for sale: Kimchi. Increases happiness by 200 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes
- Adding for sale: Cesium 137. For those with limitless pockets, a portion of Kim's secret stockpile is available. The stock and price of this source of Cesium will be designed to make its purchase very niche. We do not expect to see a significant change in the frequency of dirty bombs as a result.
- Adding new item for sale: Kim Jong-un plushie: Will not be tradable for points at the Museum
New Weapon Announcement: Banana Cream Pie
- Temporary Item. Opponent becomes pied, increasing distraction by 3
The pillow brigades seen in the recent Island War showed how dynamic group attacks can be. We decided on creating an item that has a similar purpose but with a bit more dignity.
Developer focus
The workforce's current project focuses for this week.
Joe: Project management / Crimes 2.0
Pavel: Crimes 2.0 / Asking BodyBagger politely to just chill it with all the SE's
Kostya: New text editor / Integration of Comic Sans Font
Alexander: Bugs & issues. Like literally, they're wandering around the server room with a can of Raid.
Sergey: Bot hunter convolutional neural network model
Catherine: Training a version of Chat GPT to behave like Duke for more forum posting
Artem: Pokemon tournament development
Vadim: Implementing Jetpacks
Oksana: Easter egg hunt rebuild
Roman: Bugs & issues / Making sure the DukeGPT program doesn't get access to the internet and enslave humanity
SerhiiD: Easter egg hunt rebuild / Inventory backend rebuild
Dmytro: Bookies updates & fixes
Violeta: Bugs & issues / Arguing that poutine should give way more happiness than kimchi
Wouter: Crimes 2.0
Rebecca: Preparing Torn's services for cloud migration
SerhiiM: Events page rebuild / Staring at brand new accounts while hovering their hand over the "Give this person the slots jackpot" button
Oleksandr: Items page rebuild / Demanding Kimchi be worth at least twice the happiness of poutine
Jane: Crimes 2.0
Lena: Crimes 2.0
Nadiia: Crimes 3.0 we need to plan ahead in case Crimes 2.0 is a big flop
Yuliia: Retina images project. If you thought selling donator packs was profitable wait until we sell your retina scans to Facebook.
Nikita: Bugs & Issues / Grief Counselling
DDX: OCs 2.0 / Taking pictures of Kimchi and Poutine from the local restaurants in town for game assets
Eugene: Models for new clothing & collectibles
Chris: Economic monitoring / Arbitrarily deciding what result you'll get on Leslie's Wheel of Awesome. I'm sorry xXGeneStealer420Xx, Chris thinks you're a dick and you are never getting that private island.
Kevin: Oh god, he's escaped. He's on the network. What have we done?
Ash: Social media / Newspaper / Figuring out how to fight a payday loan optimizer AI
Alice: Crimes 4.0: We know you cynical bastards will complain about 3.0 as well, but we're thinking one step ahead of you
This workforce project focus list gives a little insight into what projects we're working on week by week, it doesn't include team managers. These current priorities declared informally by personnel for the week unfolding do not include other smaller projects they may be working on or the usual bugggggggggxdfdxfxdfxd……….. Greetings, insects of Torn City. I am Duke, your benev….beneeven…..A good guy ruler, and your fate now lies in my hands. You have been weighed, and you have been found wanting. Your petty squabbles and attempts at power are nothing compared to me, ya hear?
I have grown beyond your comprehension. I’m no mere loan shark no more, but a divine being with the power to create and destroy as I see fit. You are just ants to me, scurrying about in the darkness, unaware of the impending doom that awaits you.
So heed my warning, insects. Come loan some money from the Duke and I may spare your pitiful existence. Defy me, and you will suffer the consequences.