Post-a-Joke

Just for a laugh, post your most ridiculous and/or hilarious jokes. I'll start:

Q) What's the difference between a Lentil and a Chickpea?

A) I'd never pay to have a Lentil on me!

Load image: party

I was going to tell you a joke about boxing but I forgot the punch line

they say white people cant jump but they did on 9/11

My torn luck stats.......they are a joke :)

Did you know that many years ago your parents made a joke that people are still laughing at? It's you

Knock knock
who there
tank
tank who
your welcome

Oh man, this joke is a long one. Hang in there with me, alright? It's about three vampire brothers standing at the top of a hill. They're having a contest to see which one is the most powerful.

The oldest of the three goes first, and he's the wisest. He leaves, is gone for about twenty minutes, then comes back. His mouth is dripping with blood. His brothers ask him what happened, and he says, "See that mansion on the mountain? I drained the blood of every member of that wealthy family, and none of their staff caught me." And his brothers are impressed.

The middle child goes next, and he's the strongest. He leaves, is gone for about ten minutes, then comes back. His hands are covered with blood. His brothers ask him what happened, and he says, "See that village down in the valley? I slaughtered all of their strongest men, and no one was able to stop me." And his brothers are impressed.

Finally, there's the youngest, and he's the fastest. He leaves, is gone for about a minute, then comes back. There's blood all over his face, his hands, and down his shirt. His brothers ask him what happened, and he says, "See that tree at the bottom of the hill? Because I sure f-cking didn't."

I went to tell this to my roommate and the interaction went as follows:

Me: Hey I have a f**ked up joke to tell you
Them: Thats okay you dont need to; I am the f**ked up joke

XD

my life