Trailer Recommendations

Recently, I have went through a mid trailer saleswoman career crisis, leaving me wondering if I still had it. I guess the market has changed. In my economic failure I came to the realisation that, for some reason, people do not want shite on their carpet, or leftovers from Jeffrey Dahmer's snack last Thursday.

Even if I put the toilet Elvis died on in one of the bathrooms, Kurt Cobain's shotgun proudly hanging on one of the walls, or a snow globe of Epstein's island, it wouldn't be enough for you guys, would it.

That is why I have come to you, the citizens of Torn for advice and recommendations. If you want the walls smeared with shite, then I'll do it. People keep complaining saying that my trailers aren't worth 200.000.000, and perhaps they aren't. So help me make them worth it. Anything to get my humble business of the ground.

Thank you

Wut the fook did i just read

fill a waterbed with R.Kelly's piss and stock the bar with Jesus Juice...if that doesnt do the trick try adding puddin' pops to the freezer

"Tell me to shit on my walls because I definitely didn't already"

if we can change the wall decoration to Yngve Ohlin´s brain you will get your 200m

Moderators, please grave this or at least send to an offtopic subforum.

Forgetting what you said I think trailers should have the ability to have srug labs in them

You can start by deleting this thread. It would definitely help.

I think your trailers are nice. I visited one that has your sign out front. I think you have a great marketing team to have thought of "Trailer Parkin' Kings n' Queens" for your slogan.

I thought it wasn't up for sale at first because there was a decent looking hooptie in the front with a custom rust pain job. The grass was so over grown I didn't notice all the tires were missing. The door was hanging on by one hinge and it looked to have been kicked in. So I decided to check this gem out. Me having grown up in the more refined kind of trailers I fancy myself somewhat if a specialist on appraisal.

So as I attempted to cross the yard I noticed under the thick grass you had wisely left old rimless tires for snakes to find shelter. So I knew you was a thoughtful real estate agent. I was excited to get inside to see what kind of spectacular home you had to offer the elite of the trailer park kingdom.

Really I'm writing because I'd love to schedule a second visit. See I didn't actually get to go look inside because a homeless man (i guess he wasn't exactly homeless since he decided to be a squatter on your property) appeared in the doorway with his pecker in his hand and licking his lips and looking all slingblade like... I want exactly prepared for a good ol failed trailer park throw down, so I left the man to enjoy your fine, and prime, real estate.

I guess I'm requesting that you go to the property and either tame the squatter, put him on a leash in the crawl space, or mulch him into the lawn. I want to see this seemingly underpriced property...

Sincerely,
Trailer Park Royalty

the homeless/not homeless guy is Gary btw. He's harmless, unless he has a little too much meth. Don't tell Gary, but I keep some in a dead snake. The little bugger was slithering up to me like a pedophile outside of primary school, so I shot him right then and there with a deagle. Anyways, feel free to visit whenever you'd like. Though don't go to the trailers in the far back-I rent them out to middle aged married men looking to score with a hooker.

Cheers :)

For the record, That was Gary. I think he found my meth

Going to move this gem to non related.

Thank you for your service