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TAMPONS

Started by MoistClunge [2427499] on in General Discussion.

42 replies · 1.11k views · thread synced · 4 days ago · View on torn.com
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MoistClunge [2427499] · #1

TAMPONS 

 

In the totally accurate words of Jackie Chan;

 

Tampons, huh, yeah

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, uhh

Tampons, huh, yeah

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Say it again, y'all

Tampons, huh (good God)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, listen to me, oh

 

So, in all my wisdom, limited funds and the want for something to collect I opted to embark on a mission to collect 100,000 tampons (start date 30th November 2023).

 

It began slowly, one used tampon at a time, but I eventually hit 100,000 with the help of a few suppliers, notably @domsson.

 

At this point I had a really stupid idea... Why don't I just go for 1,000,000 tampons in my collection ?

 

By May 2024 I had a few hundred thousand under my belt and I hit an existential crisis;

1) why am I doing this?

2) f**k, this is going to be costly

3) I'm burning through funds like a "pay-to-win" player does when smashing stat enhancers.

 

At this point I decided to have a break and contemplate the meaning behind how players achieve the RNG merit...

 

4-5 weeks later, I felt this urge that something was missing, that urge to collect and burn through funds returned.

 

I reached out to my network of 8-10 suppliers and said, it's on, 1m is the target, let's do it.

 

600,000 by Halloween 24

700,000 by mid-November 24

800,000 by year end

 

Finally, the target of 1m was reach on the 12th February 2025!!

 

Now, let's go back to Jackie Chan's totally accurate quandary;

 

Tampons, huh, yeah

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, uhh

 

What is the point of tampons in the game of TORN CITY?

 

This has been something I've been pondering for a few months and I think I have a unique solution that would make them useful in game.

 

Now, as some of the female population may know, tampons have been used as a carrier to administer alcohol in an unconventional method - typically knowing as "slimming". However, this leaves out the male population within game, so their option would be to use the tampons to administer the alcohol via "boofing". I'll spare you the details but you can imagine how these methods work.

 

So, the traditional thinking behind this method of alcohol consumption is to:

1) achieve faster intoxication

2) avoid the detection of alcohol on the breath when being breathalysed

3) lessen the symptoms of a hangover etc.

 

So my proposal would be the following:

 

1) alcohol can be consumed as normal with the standard gains they currently have.

 

2) alcohol can be consumed with the aid of a tampon which would either:

*boost the nerve gained,

*reduce the amount of cool down gained,

*reduce the negative impact of alcohol consumption,

or a combination of the above.

(Note, tampons would be a single use items)

 

I think this would be a fun addition to the game and the proposed methods of administering alcohol doesn't fall outside the general theme of TORN CITY.

 

Anyway, time to wrap this up.

Yaay to me for reaching the pointless goal of 1m tampons collected.

Let me know what you think of the idea.

 

Moist 💦

 

 

SAndP500 [3663181] · #8 · edited

I'm somewhat aghast that as a collector of tampons you have not factored in that your suggestion contradicts Torn canon!

 

They can also be filled with vodka and used to imbibe alcohol at a party through non-oral means, although this will probably kill you. 🙀*

 

*Cat

 

Aardvark [2750320] · #10

What is the point of tampons in the game, you ask.  You send them to bleeders during war, whether your own members or the opposition.

 

Jeebers [3578879] · #13

Love seeing this post haha, I was flipping tampons a lot when I first started and i remember you buying a bunch off of me. Thanks for helping a noob start his torn journey haha! Glad you reached your tampon collection goal