On the ninth day of Christmas tricksy Dukey gave to meee, 5,000 Moonshines + 1,000 Christmas Gonks. What do yous mean yous aint know what a gonk is? Its this crap here.
Booze gets dumped and so do a bunch of gonks. Yous want a gonk? Make the gonk something delicious as an offering. Them gonks are sposed to protect your home but the label says these ones are nasty and will f**k your shit up if yous dont feed em. Yous need to make the gonk some kind of delishush treat to appease em. Dunno if that means you gotta put peas in it??? Probably not. Duke thinks you should make christmas cookies or a ham or some weird dish only people from where yous are from ever heard of. Duke dont care so long as its food. Take a photo. Put your name in it. Anythin what looks reasonably ederbul that aint just been stolen off a cookery website might get a gonk.
NOTE FROM DUKE: Your name gotta be on a peace of paper in the image. And post your pictures in the damm webbsite i aint clickin no links.