Finch is broken.

I dont know if im delusional and toxic. I thought I was nice to people but people just hate me. 

Every time I calm down or think its over its just something else.

I want this to be my escape from a shitty life. Im tired of torturing myself.

I fixate in things way too much. Im sorry if I was a piece of shit.

I dont know if this is healthy for me anymore. Not after all the doxing and ridicule

Im really sorry everyone, im sorry Phish and Mama reckless im a disappointment to everyone.

If you hate finch just knkw you can never hate him as much as I hate myself.

Edit: to be honest I don’t know why I made that comment cause it was dumb.

But it really hurts when you realize stuff like this. I’ve done it myself. Really hope you get to a better place.

No, he’s not. It’s not easy to understand, but he’s actually trying to communicate exactly that with this semi random collection of words and letters.

No one hates you finch

Say no to toxic friends. Join new 1. 

I am the toxic friend I just didnt realise it.

Hope you feel better soon, sometimes change environments really helps, try not to harm yourself either mentally or physically... You yourself will always be the only person be with you till the end, afterall.

Best thing I can recommend is have a short break from torn maybe but irregardless I really hope you’re okay or if not I hope you find yourself feeling better sometime soon 

Sometimes just go other places n get new friends

If u  r the toxic friend, join new toxic friend

Toxic + toxic = positive

Where was a point in my life where I realised I had changed and became someone that I didn't like

I sought out therapy and it was a huge help. I recommend it. At the very least just having someone to talk to without bias, and allowing me to vent was very cathartic 

Best of luck in your journey 👌

TLDR - here's the ELTLDR (Even longer too lo.... ah, you know what I mean)

Copilot

They’re not really “saying one thing” — it’s more like an emotional dump. But if you strip it down, this is what it means in plain English:

Core message

• They’re overwhelmed and unhappy with themselves
• They think other people dislike or hate them
• They’re apologising and blaming themselves for everything
• They’re questioning whether they’re the problem
• They’re considering walking away from whatever group/platform this is

Line-by-line translation

• “I dont know if im delusional and toxic…”
  → I can’t tell if I’m the problem or if I’m just imagining things.

• “I thought I was nice… but people just hate me”
  → I don’t understand why people reacted negatively to me.

• “Every time I calm down… something else”
  → This situation keeps dragging on and I can’t get closure.

• “I want this to be my escape…”
  → This place/activity was supposed to help me, not make things worse.

• “I fixate on things too much”
  → I overthink and spiral.

• “Im sorry if I was a piece of shit”
  → I feel guilty and assume I’ve hurt people.

• “Not after all the doxing and ridicule”
  → They’ve been publicly attacked or humiliated and it’s affected them.

• “Im a disappointment to everyone”
  → Low self-worth, assumes they’ve let people down.

• “You can never hate him as much as I hate myself”
  → They hate themselves more than anyone else could.

What’s actually going on (underneath)

• Classic spiral of self-blame + anxiety
• External conflict → internalised as “I’m the problem”
• Overthinking + fixation
• Likely feeling:
  • rejected
  • embarrassed
  • attacked
  • mentally exhausted

The key thing you should notice

They’re not stating facts — they’re guessing and catastrophising:

• “people hate me”
• “I’m toxic”
• “I’m a disappointment to everyone”

That’s emotional reasoning, not evidence.

Blunt take (since you prefer that)

• This reads like someone who’s been dogpiled or criticised hard,
  and has gone straight into self-destruct mode.
• They’ve moved from “something went wrong” to
  “I am fundamentally the problem” — which is a big, irrational jump.
• The apology is less about fixing anything and more about
  seeking relief from how bad they feel.

It's going to be okay

what....

umm whatever it is... please get well 

I was gonna troll and do bs...but like...umm 

nah I wont fuck with this one here... all the best ig

I have professional help and medication. I also seem to have professional help in my destruction.

You have no idea how much I relate to what you're saying. I don't know if you take much in good wishes from strangers, but I'd still like to leave you with a sentence that helped me personally through difficult times:

"This too shall pass."

No matter how overwhelming things feel right now, nothing stays the same forever. Good times don't last forever, and neither do bad ones. Pain fades, wounds heal, situations change, and life just moves forward. I genuinely hope that whatever you're going through becomes just another chapter in your story, not the whole book. Take care of yourself, 

It does get better stranger I suggest (with no professional qualifications) focusing on starting to love or like yourself first. Nobody’s opinion of you matters if you decide that it doesn’t matter so at the end of the day it’s going to be your view of yourself that is everything relevant. 

You likely have atleast one skill, it could be as small as managing to get out of bed a little before you thought you would that day on occasion (a sign of upward momentum), or as creative as writing or drawing, or as technical as programming or understanding some sort of machinery.

In lieu of pursuing skills you can try learning more about topics that interest you so you can grow to appreciate yourself for being knowledgeable about what makes your brain feel enjoyment.

Anyways, looking forward to the day you feel better.

TL;DR - it gets better, focus on yourself

We've never met, but irregardless of that:

• no one hates you. We tend to assume what people are saying about us when all they are doing is going about their life. It's an agonising burden we place on ourselves.
• You're worth caring about, you just haven't found your people. Online people are (generally) not your people. There will be outliers, but most people are here to get a break from irl responsibility, and that in turn can bring out the worst in them. It's a people problem, not a you problem.
• Are we sometimes the problem? Absolutely. Can you change what happened? Nope. Can you change going forward? Yep. Cast that burden off, my friend. The people you met playing Torn didn't exist to you before you played, and you done alright. Don't give people who take from you the leverage to do so. No one will hate you for drawing a boundary, I promise.
• Let the ones that are blessings be blessings. Let the ones who taught you a lesson be that.

All that said, sorry you're going through a rough one. Again, never met you and no idea if we'll get along but fuck it, shoot me a message and we'll shoot the shit for a bit.

You'll be alright, look after yourself 🙏🏼

A friend once told me, "If you don't like the story, change the narrative or walk away." We don't talk anymore, which is a real shame, but those words stuck with me. You don't have to stay in places or around people who leave you feeling like this. Sometimes walking away is the healthiest thing you can do.

Chin up mate. It gets better :) 

Is there another post that clarifies this one cos I have no idea what is happening 

Sometimes a change of environment along with making new friends can be the restart our body and mind needs.

I hope things start to get easier with each passing day.